Thanks for the hoping?

Here are some gems I collected on Sunday and part of today, with Pacemaker- my "friend" who stayed over yesterday and left this afternoon.

(Sitting in my room. She comments on my "baller" status since I now have a MacBook Pro)
Me: So would you still be my friend if I were poor?
Pacemaker: Honestly,no... I don't think so. I find poor people... undesirable.
Me: (internally) Funny, rich people find you undesirable.

(Paying for the bill at Yardhouse)
Pacemaker: You girls wanna go buy a car?
(bust out her credit card)
Me: Oh wow, you also ave a 100k credit line?
Pacemaker: No, 15k!
Me: Who the fuck buys a car with only 15k?

(Pacemaker standing by my bedroom door, talking about her Vegas shenanigans as I lay in bed, studying some word associations)
Pacemaker: I hope one day, you have as much fun as I did.
Me: Hahahaha! I guess.
Pacemaker: No, AnoMALIE... I mean... it was... man... I hope one day you'll experience something that fun!
Me: (inernally) I live here...and as for fun, I spent a month in Europe with pretty much a blank check... you cannot fathom the amount of fun I partook in. (spoken) I guess... your version of fun is completely different to mine.

(Showing me photos on her phone. Stops on a recent photo of just her face)
Pacemaker: I love this photo... look at it!
(I look, but at the same time catch her staring at my chin... where I currently have a pimple growing and ruining my life-- sarcasm, ok... but it is bugging me)
Pacemaker: My skin is flawless! It's so awesome!
Me: (internally) You know what else is awesome? Having a chin... I love it! (I guess I should mention Pacemaker is pretty massive. Her head reminds me of a full-moon. Same color and everything)

(Finding our way out of the Aria, right in front of the sports-books, after Lakers lose game two to the Celtics. Very excited, and attractive dude starts approaching me, reaching for my shoulder. Pacemakers speeds up her pace and intercepts the touch, taking his hand)
RandomDude: Wooo!!
Pacemaker: Wooo!
RandomDude: Way to go, Celtics!! That win just made me bank! (flashes big wad of money and waves it at me)
Pacemaker: Well, good for you!!
(Cute guy and his gang walk away, hooting and hollering about their big win)
Me: Oh! That's why he was coming at me... I'm wearing a solid green shirt!
Pacemaker: So?
Me: Celtics... they're green... I look like a fan... get it?
Pacemaker: (rolls eyes) No... not at all. He was coming at me. I give off that party vibe, guys want to be near me.

(Sister walks out of Yardhouse for a second to argue with her boyfriend over the phone. Pacemaker tries to get more information from me)
Pacemaker: So is he cute?
Me: I don't really know. He's nice... and really funny... she likes him... and that's all she tells me.
Pacemaker: Is he rich?
Me: He.. well, he owns a bakery.
Pacemaker: Oh snap... then who cares if he's cute... bakers can make good money.
Me: I guess. I just care for my guy to be funny... and smart... so they usually range in looks.
Pacemaker: Well, I only like douches. You know... the really hot guys with a good fashion sense that other guys tend to be jealous of. They take good care of themselves, shop at expensive stores... all that good stuff.
Me: Oh, you mean tools? I could care less for those "cute" guys.
Pacemaker: No need to tell me, it's more than obvious. You're lucky you're rich.
Me: (internally) WTF?

And my personal favorite:
(talking about Pacemaker's 1-10 "Beauty Meter" which is fucking retarded, considering NO ONE is a 10. Not even celebrities)
Pacemaker: MGH'sBrother is still upset about me calling him a seven.
Sister: Well, I mean, he is handsome. Seven might be a bit low.
Pacemaker: Seven is very high in my meter! I called my best friend a four! Now she had a reason to be upset... but hey, I don't lie.
Sister: What number am I?
Pacemaker: Seven! You're very pretty, LittleSister. AnoMALIE'S a five.
Me: (internally) When the fuck did I ask for my rating?!

How she left my house without a black eye is beyond me.
She was not being sarcastic at any time... and each time she seemed to come up with an increasingly hurtful jab for me.
She left me dumbfounded. Often times I'd consider talking back, but my head would be spinning so fast, I was too busy wondering what the fuck was going on.

Someone get me canonized... I'm a paaaaaaatient girl!!