Polished

Growing up, I always had to put up with shit about my lips.

At first, it was the little kid thing where they would taunt me about the lips whenever they wanted me to fuck up during some intense game of kickball, or four-square, or... I don't know... tag? Basically, any time my peers wanted to see me worked up, they'd bust out the "N***a lip!" and I'd freak out.

Middle school came around, more kids were exposed to porn... more kids became sexually active... and so, came the new taunting lines:
"Shit... how many guys do you blow?!" "Why don't you shut the fuck up and go blow some guys behind the portables?" "Bitch, I know how you got your kind of lips! By blowing... guys!" etc... middle school kids are underestimated when it comes to creativity.

High school came around, and by then I had heard it all, except that now I started getting that annoying "lick the lips, make eye-contact" move from dudes... which was... I'd rather be hearing people call me Ni*** Lip, really.

So, to sum it all up, I've never been a fan of my own lips.
And when they do shit like what I'm about to show, it becomes increasingly difficult to like them at all:

That black stuff... I'll give you ten bucks if you guess correctly.
No, I won't.
It's nail polish.
Yes.
Why? Because my crazy Mexican mother told me it works magic on cold sores (yes... I finally contracted those pieces of shit... from my fucking brother of all people. Stupid asshole drank straight out of MY gallon of water when he was suffering from an outbreak... fucking retard. He could have at least allowed me to contract the damn herpesvirus participating in some fine, drunken debauchery-- like he did-- but no, he left it up to a fucking plastic gallon of water... gaaaaaaaaah!). Since I'm naive, and extremely gullible, I'll try anything once, twice if I'm that clueless... so here you have me faithfully tending to my wound every four hours.
While it's unbelievably unsightly (not to mention embarrassing), I have to admit... that shit is working magic. I hear cold sores take about 2 weeks to heal? My bad boy is nearly gone after two days.

Unbelievable... so much shit going on in the world, and here I am, blogging about my lip issue. But hey, what can I do? I'm a chick... and this shit has been interfering with my life for two days too many.
I don't go out in public like that-- I've put off grocery shopping and voting because of it. However, I did go to the gym today (nail polish removed, of course!), but only managed to look like a major cunt who refused to smile or look up.

I will be forced to emerge from my cave tomorrow, though, in order to perform my civic duty and vote... then buy myself some raspberries... then go get nearly killed at kickboxing... then hang out at the airport for an hour as I wait for my friend to fly in... and finally, back to my cave... my lovely, nail-polish-smelling cave.

Woe is me... someone, please rip off my lips!

(But hey, at least Rafa Nadal has been making my self-enforced quarantine bearable. He's such a hoss)