I had originally planned on posting this series back when I hit the 173 mark... since that ugly number marked me for the rest of my life.
I hadn't seen the likes of that number since eighth grade.
Back when I started the diet, I didn't have a goal in mind... that number was not even a glimmer in my eye.
I hadn't seen the likes of that number since eighth grade.
Back when I started the diet, I didn't have a goal in mind... that number was not even a glimmer in my eye.
In all seriousness, I never thought I'd reach the 170's.
The last year has been a cycling of increasing my protein intake and veggie intake, and drastically decreasing everything else.
The reaction from others over MY eating habits is what has surprised me most. The outrage is what... leaves me speechless.
"THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH FRUIT!"
WHOA, homegirl! I'm sure there isn't, but right now, I need to cut that shit out. You've seen how fruits have worked out for me these last 26 years... calm the fuck down. You eat all the fucking fruit you like, kinkajou, but I'm cutting them out for the time being.
After enough bullshit reactions like that, I had to get snotty... it's just... inevitable for me. Piss me off, and I'll become pretty fucking petulant/insolent.
Look dude, carbs are GREAT... but right now, they're not very conducive to the biochemistry desired.
I have a biology degree, pre-medicine to be exact... you majored in art, shut the fuck up and quit judging ME for MY current dietary decisions. I'm not doing drugs, so get out of my hair, k?
I also had people in my face over my gym activity. Concerned maybe I was acquiring an addiction.
That shit just made me laugh.
Gym problem because I hit it up for two hours a day? There were days when I'd be in school for TWELVE hours of my day... no one ever became concerned that I was acquiring some freak addiction to school.
Plus, the time spent in the gym was less time I spent home, considering suicide (no, seriously).
All in all, this change in diet and increase in gym activity is what kept me on this planet.
It didn't just improve my physical health, but it helped my mental health... except for the low-carb/no-carb rages... those aren't fun.
I've also met some remarkable people who have helped me along the way. I have a little gym family that has embraced me, and is genuinely happy about my progress. Their faces light up each week when they see me. It is SO incredibly satisfying... and welcoming... and nice. Sure, if I think too much about my actual friends and family who aren't happy about my progress I nearly cry (it's so frustrating... their silence... or straight up snubbing. Some of the comments I get throw me for a loop, because of their backhanded nature. There is just NO pleasing some people, and while it SHOULDN'T bother or hurt me, it does. I can't eat sweets in front of some folk because they judge me... a couple have OPENLY said I'm going to go back to how I looked. Oh, ye of little faith. Little do you know your skepticism/hate only FUELS me. Proving people wrong is my forte. Few have my discipline/determination, best believe that... or better yet, DON'T), but I TRY to keep my thoughts positive... and I cherish every single compliment thrown my way... for the first time in my life. It is honestly something I'll appreciate until my dying day. Every single positive thing-- from Kelley having my back that one day at Red Rock when I freaked the fuck out thinking I was going to die on the trail (I now run that trail, Kelley! It's so crazy!) to the older lady who worked up the courage to whisper "You look so good, honey!" after months of seeing me in the same spot at the gym-- has managed to touch my heart way deeper than I could have ever anticipated.
ANYWAY! Backing off the sentimentality, the 173 wasn't coming fast enough... then around the last week of December, I hit 169. I was going to talk about all this then... but I was too excited about other stuff.
Now, I've dropped another 9 pounds, where I've managed to remain.
Yup. I'm very publicly, and quite happily, admitting my weight. I'm a 27 year old, 5'8", 160 pound Mexican-American. C'est moi.
Want photos?
I don't care, I'm posting them anyway (especially since I refuse to put these on FB, because I've always been of the "Don't let your right hand know what your left hand does" type person. I'm keeping this shit to myself... and my close friends/family who, for some freak-reason, still read this. Bless your hearts, guys... it's a tough read... with my constant tangents, misspellings, terrible grammar, cryptic bullshit, etc etc. Anyway, this is the only place I feel safe to... get all giddy, sentimental, truthful about this issue, so bear with me).
Never again.
Now it's muscle time.
I'm tired and incoherent now. It's bed time.
The last year has been a cycling of increasing my protein intake and veggie intake, and drastically decreasing everything else.
The reaction from others over MY eating habits is what has surprised me most. The outrage is what... leaves me speechless.
"THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH FRUIT!"
WHOA, homegirl! I'm sure there isn't, but right now, I need to cut that shit out. You've seen how fruits have worked out for me these last 26 years... calm the fuck down. You eat all the fucking fruit you like, kinkajou, but I'm cutting them out for the time being.
After enough bullshit reactions like that, I had to get snotty... it's just... inevitable for me. Piss me off, and I'll become pretty fucking petulant/insolent.
Look dude, carbs are GREAT... but right now, they're not very conducive to the biochemistry desired.
I have a biology degree, pre-medicine to be exact... you majored in art, shut the fuck up and quit judging ME for MY current dietary decisions. I'm not doing drugs, so get out of my hair, k?
I also had people in my face over my gym activity. Concerned maybe I was acquiring an addiction.
That shit just made me laugh.
Gym problem because I hit it up for two hours a day? There were days when I'd be in school for TWELVE hours of my day... no one ever became concerned that I was acquiring some freak addiction to school.
Plus, the time spent in the gym was less time I spent home, considering suicide (no, seriously).
All in all, this change in diet and increase in gym activity is what kept me on this planet.
It didn't just improve my physical health, but it helped my mental health... except for the low-carb/no-carb rages... those aren't fun.
I've also met some remarkable people who have helped me along the way. I have a little gym family that has embraced me, and is genuinely happy about my progress. Their faces light up each week when they see me. It is SO incredibly satisfying... and welcoming... and nice. Sure, if I think too much about my actual friends and family who aren't happy about my progress I nearly cry (it's so frustrating... their silence... or straight up snubbing. Some of the comments I get throw me for a loop, because of their backhanded nature. There is just NO pleasing some people, and while it SHOULDN'T bother or hurt me, it does. I can't eat sweets in front of some folk because they judge me... a couple have OPENLY said I'm going to go back to how I looked. Oh, ye of little faith. Little do you know your skepticism/hate only FUELS me. Proving people wrong is my forte. Few have my discipline/determination, best believe that... or better yet, DON'T), but I TRY to keep my thoughts positive... and I cherish every single compliment thrown my way... for the first time in my life. It is honestly something I'll appreciate until my dying day. Every single positive thing-- from Kelley having my back that one day at Red Rock when I freaked the fuck out thinking I was going to die on the trail (I now run that trail, Kelley! It's so crazy!) to the older lady who worked up the courage to whisper "You look so good, honey!" after months of seeing me in the same spot at the gym-- has managed to touch my heart way deeper than I could have ever anticipated.
ANYWAY! Backing off the sentimentality, the 173 wasn't coming fast enough... then around the last week of December, I hit 169. I was going to talk about all this then... but I was too excited about other stuff.
Now, I've dropped another 9 pounds, where I've managed to remain.
Yup. I'm very publicly, and quite happily, admitting my weight. I'm a 27 year old, 5'8", 160 pound Mexican-American. C'est moi.
Want photos?
I don't care, I'm posting them anyway (especially since I refuse to put these on FB, because I've always been of the "Don't let your right hand know what your left hand does" type person. I'm keeping this shit to myself... and my close friends/family who, for some freak-reason, still read this. Bless your hearts, guys... it's a tough read... with my constant tangents, misspellings, terrible grammar, cryptic bullshit, etc etc. Anyway, this is the only place I feel safe to... get all giddy, sentimental, truthful about this issue, so bear with me).
 |
| My 18s. I wore the hell out of those pants. I knew it was time to do something the moment I RIPPED these... at the airport, of all places. |
 |
| These were my "goal" jeans... my 16s that were more like loose 15s. I loved these pants. |
 |
| Exact outfit I wore the week I joined the gym. To think I ever squeezed into this makes me want to cry. |
 |
| Sorry for the underwear pic... but I mean... do you know when's the last time I remember having hipbones like that? Never. NEVER. |
Now it's muscle time.
I'm tired and incoherent now. It's bed time.
2 comments:
I don't comment enough.
But this is really inspirational (at least to me). You took something that effected you negatively and made something positive to yourself out of it. I hope you are really proud. I am proud of you :) (also super ashamed of myself for not having your discipline up to this point)
lol, oh no! I wasn't talking about you! I know you're proud of me, you're my #1 cheerleader in... everything I do! :)
Not gonna lie, I'm shocked it took something so devastating to me, to help me reach our Project Go-Go goal (ah! memories!) lol. But I guess I can say I'm glad it happened.
Anyway, thank you for the kind words! They're little tattoos I'm engraving in my heart to keep for eva and eva :)
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