Me: Hello? (Damn... No! Right when Enrique's coming on... hurry up!!)
Unidentified Female: Hello?
Me: Umm... who is this?
UF: (utters monosyllabic word I can't pick up on)
Me: Excuse me?
UF: (utters the word again...)
Me: ??!!??
(15 seconds of silence)
Me: O...k...
Unidentified Female IDIOT: ...
Me: (internally) Fucking moron... I hate you (spoken) How may I help you?
UFI: Umm... is there a... lady... that.... she... the lady...
Me: (internally) If you were in my face right now, I'd fucking punch you right about now.
UFI: The lady teaches... she teaches... umm...
Me: She teaches catechism at St. Anne?!? (internally) fuck, was it that difficult, imbecile?!
UFI: Yes... she teaches.
Me: No, she's not here right now. (internally) now STFU and call later.
UFI: Oh... when can I... like... call again?
Me: (internally) Never. Ever. In your lifetime, moron. (spoken) After 2.
(click)
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I no longer teach catechism.
Some people should just... never reproduce. Seriously.
What pissed me off worse was that we were speaking Spanish and she still couldn't communicate properly. My mom's been teaching her beast of a child since September and she still doesn't get my mom's name down.
My mom's name is the same as the little Hispanic explorer girl on Nickelodeon. How can you not remember that?!
When Mom came home I told her the story:
Me: Y luego me dice (then she tell me),
Está la señora que enseña... que enseña... (is the lady that teaches... that teaches...)
Mom: Well, did you tell her I'm not an exhibitionist??
Funny how Spanish words have double meanings that make no sense in English ("enseña" can be "teach" or "shows" as in "the lady that shows" and you know how that Mexican double entendre works. "Ladies that show..." are what the older crowd use to refer to strippers. Niiice).
I get my double entendre prowess from Mom...
Haha.
2 comments:
Niice.
Yeah, guys and concerts. Pervs, that hit was pressing his thing against me the whole time. I was being molested. u_u
See, that's when you turn around and give the guy a nice knee to the groin.
All in the spirit of concerts, no?
Eh, who the hell am I kidding! During the Camila/Reik concert there was this giant dude holding his girlfriend right in front of me, there wouldn't have been a problem, had he kept his arm to himself. The entire night he spent it rubbing my tits with his elbow... at one point his girl used my chest as a pillow, by actually leaning into my chest.
Did I do anything?
Nah... just stared in disbelief.
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