Learning

(Yesterday after church, waiting outside for Mom to come out, my mom's sister hugs me after seeing me for the first time in a month)

Aunt: AnoMALIE! You lost weight!
Me: Really? (internally) It's only been a month... how the hell did that happen?
Aunt: Yeah... your face is like... your cheeks are caved in... your head's longer.
Me: Oh... well... thanks.

Sweet way to put it, I say. I now know where I get my (lack of) eloquence. Ha!

Anyway, at US customs at LAX, the immigration officer in charge of letting me back in the country asked me one question before stamping my stuff:
Officer: Italy... Spain... England... France... interesting places you visited. What did you learn?
Me: (internally) Fuck... think fast... tell the truth... don't... I was supposed to learn something? (spoken) That the French are RUDE.

The officer stoically goes about looking through my passport and reading my declaration of things I'm importing.

Shit... is he of French ancestry? Fuck! I must have pissed him off... way to go, AnoMALIE... way to put your fucking foot in your mouth... Now you're going to get checked and you only have an hour to get to your gate!

Officer: How about Italy?
(I read his badge. Officer Stewart. Great, what kind of fucking name is that? What are you, white man?!)
Me: Nicest people I've ever met.
Officer: Spain?
Me: ... well... they're my ancestors...
Officer Stewart: So they're good people by default.
Me: Isn't that the way it works?
Officer Stewart: And England?
Me: Loved it... absolutely amazing. My favorite place.
Officer Stewart: Thank you Ms. Dos Santos, welcome back.

As I waited for my flight time to come, and as I flew (and wasn't too busy cursing the day those fucking bachelor party guys' parents met), I kept wondering:
What did I learn?

Here's what I've come up with so far:
- I like the idea of a metro system (although, we all know if that existed here, people would fuck it up ASAP)
- I am a total nature freak... ok, that sounds harsh... more like, I enjoy nature way more than the average bear.
- Green fields relax me.
- I'm totally blessed... and not to sound conceited or anything, but God really, really likes me... like... he takes care of me more than I give him credit for (so many stories I have regarding the many ways I could have died, but didn't... because of something more than sheer "luck").
- European old people, especially Spanish old people, are freaking adorable and super nice! I love them!
- I'm popular with old men... and no, I'm not talking men 10-15 years older than me, I'm talking 35+ years... like... old people. They think I'm so freaking fantastic and amusing... they make me feel like a star. I was born in the wrong generation, damn it.
- Europeans cuss a lot. I love it.
- Given the choice between eating or cleanliness, I will ALWAYS choose cleanliness (ex. pay 8 Euros to eat somewhere, or 15 Euros for detergent, I will ALWAYS choose detergent. I'll just... eat... leaves or something for the next couple of days...)
- I never fully appreciated America's beauty. While I don't really care for architecture in America, nature here is awesome... and I miss it when I'm away (I'm talking ALL of America, not just the US).
- I never knew I liked sandstone so much...
- I take water for granted.
- American tourists are the fucking stupidest tourists ever. So fucking ethnocentric and retarded... they made me ashamed to be American most of the time. By "American" I mean "United States."
- US people are really disliked in Europe... like... really disliked. I've never been so glad to be "Mexican-American." Most of the time, I just said I was "Mexican."
- I really HATE drunks. I despise them... and the nastiest part of me comes out whenever I'm criticized for not drinking... I get MEAN.
- I don't drink (here I though I'd drink it up while away from the folks... but no... I just don't participate in that activity. What a relief).
- I get really offended by people who aren't willing to help. I get driven to tears. I'm such a pussy.
- I'm too emotional.
- It doesn't take much to make me happy.
- I can see the beauty in almost anything.
- A ton of my... well... customs... come from Spain... and it makes me very happy when I realize each one... even the bad ones.
- I love my siblings... love them a lot.

The list may go on... cause dude, did I learn things!