Someone got paid today.
For the first time ever.
Me!
The day started out rough. I was exhausted... the road I use to get to work was closed due to a fire... and best of all, that stupid catty bitch almost made me cry AGAIN.
I was doing my job. I was sitting there, feeling quite proud of myself for doing everything meticulously correct--being extremely diligent for 8 in the morning-- and next thing I know, Ms. Catty was standing over my shoulder.
By now, I'm like an abused dog who flinches at the mere sight of the SHADOW of anything that resembles a rolled-up newspaper.
The moment I sense someone over my shoulder, I flinch, close my eyes, and prepare myself for the chastising.
Ms. Catty: THAT'S NOT HOW WE DO IT HERE AT WORK!
Oh wow... here we go again...
My tonsils prevented my heart from escaping out of my mouth.
I froze-- sat still, looking at the computer screen.
Ms. Catty reached at my lap, where I was holding the binder I was working on.
I was half-way through with a binder, so the clasps were open.
Ms. Catty: We remove ALL of the papers first, Scan them ALL, THEN put them back in the binder when everything's done. You're wasting too much time the way you're doing it!
She removed all the sheets on the half of the binder I had yet to scan.
I shifted my sight to the keyboard.
Ms. Catty: And move the binder over HERE.
She grabbed the binder by one of the flaps and threw it to the left side of my cubicle. In the process, all the sheets I had replaced in the binder fell out.
Yes.
I didn't move. I didn't say shit.
I wanted to cry. Honestly. I felt beyond embarrassed.
What she did was beyond patronizing.
So, I did what is the only thing I know how to do when someone offends/hurts/embarrasses me past my breaking point: I look them dead in the eye, while the only thing I'm thinking is "Why?"
A very Jesus move on my behalf, but it has been my response to any and all abuse I've ever received... because it really is the only thing I have left-- that question.
Why do you hurt someone who has not done a thing to you? It's just... something I cannot comprehend. I have never been able to understand people's unprovoked cruelty.
The two closest chicks to my cubicle looked over at the scene, and gave me what I hate most: Pity.
They said something to Ms. Catty in Tagalog, in a grave tone, then picked up the sheets closest to them.
Ms. Catty tried putting the sheets back in the binder, but I gently grabbed them from her.
Me: I got it.
I just wanted her to leave.
It took me about three hours to recover from that scene, three hours in which Ms. Catty was nowhere in sight.
The dudes were all very sweet to me. They tried making me laugh... but it's hard to laugh when you've been unjustly humiliated in front of an entire office.
(seriously, the shit that happens to me leaves my head spinning. Does everyone get as verbally abused/attacked as I do? I can't be alone in this shit)
The day started to look up once I was ready to clock out of work.
Ms. Catty was suddenly chummy with me, and tried encouraging me to work extra hours over the weekend.
Wait... my work ISN'T shitty and too sluggish for the weekend? Make up your mind, woman.
I declined, citing my weekend LA trip to catch the Tim Burton exhibition for which I had already purchased tickets (I haven't, but I'm about to, so it was a half-lie).
She wished me a nice trip.
It was then when BossLady walked in and handed me my check.
The moment I got in my car, my day instantly turned brighter.
It's all sunshine and rainbows from there.
Pretty fucking expensive price for sunshine and rainbows.
For the first time ever.
Me!
The day started out rough. I was exhausted... the road I use to get to work was closed due to a fire... and best of all, that stupid catty bitch almost made me cry AGAIN.
I was doing my job. I was sitting there, feeling quite proud of myself for doing everything meticulously correct--being extremely diligent for 8 in the morning-- and next thing I know, Ms. Catty was standing over my shoulder.
By now, I'm like an abused dog who flinches at the mere sight of the SHADOW of anything that resembles a rolled-up newspaper.
The moment I sense someone over my shoulder, I flinch, close my eyes, and prepare myself for the chastising.
Ms. Catty: THAT'S NOT HOW WE DO IT HERE AT WORK!
Oh wow... here we go again...
My tonsils prevented my heart from escaping out of my mouth.
I froze-- sat still, looking at the computer screen.
Ms. Catty reached at my lap, where I was holding the binder I was working on.
I was half-way through with a binder, so the clasps were open.
Ms. Catty: We remove ALL of the papers first, Scan them ALL, THEN put them back in the binder when everything's done. You're wasting too much time the way you're doing it!
She removed all the sheets on the half of the binder I had yet to scan.
I shifted my sight to the keyboard.
Ms. Catty: And move the binder over HERE.
She grabbed the binder by one of the flaps and threw it to the left side of my cubicle. In the process, all the sheets I had replaced in the binder fell out.
Yes.
I didn't move. I didn't say shit.
I wanted to cry. Honestly. I felt beyond embarrassed.
What she did was beyond patronizing.
So, I did what is the only thing I know how to do when someone offends/hurts/embarrasses me past my breaking point: I look them dead in the eye, while the only thing I'm thinking is "Why?"
A very Jesus move on my behalf, but it has been my response to any and all abuse I've ever received... because it really is the only thing I have left-- that question.
Why do you hurt someone who has not done a thing to you? It's just... something I cannot comprehend. I have never been able to understand people's unprovoked cruelty.
The two closest chicks to my cubicle looked over at the scene, and gave me what I hate most: Pity.
They said something to Ms. Catty in Tagalog, in a grave tone, then picked up the sheets closest to them.
Ms. Catty tried putting the sheets back in the binder, but I gently grabbed them from her.
Me: I got it.
I just wanted her to leave.
It took me about three hours to recover from that scene, three hours in which Ms. Catty was nowhere in sight.
The dudes were all very sweet to me. They tried making me laugh... but it's hard to laugh when you've been unjustly humiliated in front of an entire office.
(seriously, the shit that happens to me leaves my head spinning. Does everyone get as verbally abused/attacked as I do? I can't be alone in this shit)
The day started to look up once I was ready to clock out of work.
Ms. Catty was suddenly chummy with me, and tried encouraging me to work extra hours over the weekend.
Wait... my work ISN'T shitty and too sluggish for the weekend? Make up your mind, woman.
I declined, citing my weekend LA trip to catch the Tim Burton exhibition for which I had already purchased tickets (I haven't, but I'm about to, so it was a half-lie).
She wished me a nice trip.
It was then when BossLady walked in and handed me my check.
The moment I got in my car, my day instantly turned brighter.
It's all sunshine and rainbows from there.
Pretty fucking expensive price for sunshine and rainbows.
2 comments:
I would have told her if she had a suggestion to improve your efficiency there are more effective ways to go about it, and if she's worried about what you're doing, her own work is likely suffering. And I'd follow that statement with "go die in a fire, please." Of course I would have said most of this in my head.. but I probably would have started 'coughing' violently at her, pulled her aside later and told her how motivational her words were. Of course, she probably goes home and masturbates reflecting how poorly she treats non filipino women.
lmao. exactly what I was thinking, but you're far better with words. haha
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