iphone adventures

Something that aids in the emotional recovery process?

iPhone, sucka!

I've been playing with that thing for a couple of days now.

Sure, I've had it since the day it came out (I ran into the house the moment Mom brought me home from the airport. The excitement from DC wore off the moment the plane left the gate at DCA. I was thinking iphone! iphone! iphone! after that), but I kind of tossed it aside once the depression set it. I mean, I've never had an iphone, and I'm bad with new things... so I have to warm up to it.

Well, I've warmed up to it.

1. I played with Siri for almost three hours.

That fucking bitch understands me probably 40% of the time, and that's me being generous.

For example, I was trying to get her to say my name correctly.

This was as good as it got:

Story of my fucking life.

Now, what I was trying to say was this:

Me: Learn how to say my name correctly.

Siri went ahead and said what's written.

Me: My name is N-oh. Eh. Me.

Me: NO. MY NAME IS (name).

Needless to say, the three hours sped past me as I argued with my phone like the typical, irascible Mexican girl that I am.

Siri still can't say my name (she even saved my "phonetic last name" as "The Ass," no fucking lie). That retard.

2. Talking about retards:

I'd probably be responsible for that roller...

I laughed for a couple of hours throughout the morning just THINKING about this photo.

Musketeer, as if he knew I had been walking down the streets of Bitterville, showed me the paper a couple of minutes after clocking in.

I used my handy-dandy 8MP iphone camera and tweeted the image, of course!

My friends are fucking psychic and know how to make me laugh.

This was no exception. I would break into random bursts of laughter whenever I'd think of the product description. Made my day, really.

3. RINGTONES!

You guys, I can't begin to describe how enthralled I become when producing ringtones.

Music is... not my LIFE, but it does play a significant role in it.

I sit at the lap top and play with various songs and meticulously pick the perfect excerpts.

Currently, the ringtone that completes me is Kanye and Jay-Z's "No Church in the Wild."

It's an awesome song, with a sick beat, so... it's my ringtone (I hope my friends don't disown me the moment they realize I'm a bigger Kanye fan than I let on).

Besides the fact that my friends would be slightly horrified over the fact that I dig Kanye and Jay-Z (six of my ringtones are of either or both... yeah... shhhh!), my folks aren't too happy.

As I was helping Dad look for flights earlier today, Rafa called me.

My phone went off:

Human being to the mob,

What's a mob to a king?

What's a king to a god?

What's a god to a non-believer

who don't believe in... 

anything?

Mom and Dad looked at each other in horror.

Dad: Mira esta! (basically the translation for "look at this guy!" but for a female)

I went ahead and changed my ringtone.

Not much better...

It was changed to "This ain't a scene, it's an arms race" (the lyrics are... aiiight, but I specifically LOVE the beat. I can pick out that beat from a mile away... no, really. I fucking love it).

I am an arms dealer, fitting you with weapons in the form of words.

And I don't really care which side wins

As long as the room keeps singing,

That's just the business I'm in.

This ain't a scene, it's a God. Damn. Arms. Race!

This ain't a scene, it's a God. Damn. Arms. Race!

See! See! This is why I went with Kanye.

I'll just put it back... now.