Divina ilusión... que yo forjé.
I watched the last train pull out of the station today.
That lonely girl, sitting on the bench only giving her back to the world in all those images... finally turned around today. Once the dust settled from the commotion... once everything had settled into... that goddamned trite phrase of "deafening silence," she turned around... and it was me.
Un sueño fue... que no se realizo.
It was always me.
No puedo mas.
There is no saving me. No tengo remedio.
I am completely... utterly alone.
Siento que mi alma se desgarra...
... I had been doing so great. This goddamn... delusional... fucking stupid hopefulness that has refused to die after all these years, the only thing to fucking blame.
That song has such a different meaning for me now.
Estoy sola. Mas sola que nunca. Y no hay manera de remediarlo.
I am such a loser.
Never enough.
I went from being a shadow... to being a ghost.
(Shorter, more embarrassing story: On Wednesday, I was walking the Strip with MGH and his friends, but mainly talking to MGH. I was smiling and laughing... genuinely happy. Then some dude in his mid 20s mocked me. He made fun of my laugh... loudly. This hurt me more than expected. It hurt to see someone ridicule my genuine happiness... my very rare happiness. I almost cried... but instead, I puffed up and went on a violent tirade against this guy, ready to rock this 6-foot-whatever guy's jaw with my fist. I had to get held back and taken away by MGH and Fer.
It has been a rough couple of days, my friends. I just had to get it off my chest so I could continue with my life as a robot)
I watched the last train pull out of the station today.
That lonely girl, sitting on the bench only giving her back to the world in all those images... finally turned around today. Once the dust settled from the commotion... once everything had settled into... that goddamned trite phrase of "deafening silence," she turned around... and it was me.
Un sueño fue... que no se realizo.
It was always me.
No puedo mas.
There is no saving me. No tengo remedio.
I am completely... utterly alone.
Siento que mi alma se desgarra...
... I had been doing so great. This goddamn... delusional... fucking stupid hopefulness that has refused to die after all these years, the only thing to fucking blame.
That song has such a different meaning for me now.
Estoy sola. Mas sola que nunca. Y no hay manera de remediarlo.
I am such a loser.
Never enough.
I went from being a shadow... to being a ghost.
(Shorter, more embarrassing story: On Wednesday, I was walking the Strip with MGH and his friends, but mainly talking to MGH. I was smiling and laughing... genuinely happy. Then some dude in his mid 20s mocked me. He made fun of my laugh... loudly. This hurt me more than expected. It hurt to see someone ridicule my genuine happiness... my very rare happiness. I almost cried... but instead, I puffed up and went on a violent tirade against this guy, ready to rock this 6-foot-whatever guy's jaw with my fist. I had to get held back and taken away by MGH and Fer.
It has been a rough couple of days, my friends. I just had to get it off my chest so I could continue with my life as a robot)
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