First day jitters

First day of school... for everyone else!!
Bahaha!
Ok... actually, I'm super envious. I miss school... terribly.
So, in honor of this first day of college for some people, I post some gems from MY first two days of college, my freshman year, which I actually wrote about and saved (with some current comments, of course):

August 25, 2003:

"so... i got up at 6:35... those 35 extra minutes being a delicious prize for me... ahh... after 4 years of painful torture known as sleep deprivation.. and now.. waking up at that hour is glory!"

(I still don't know how the fuck I'd get up at six in the morning for high school... it seems crazy and exaggerated now that I look back. How the fuck were we expected to function at 7 in the morning? I'd always be lucky and have physics or chemistry, you know, classes that don't require much of your brain, as my first period. So mean)

"to make things better, tomorrow i wake up WHENEVER!! AHAHAHAHA! i got class at 5pm... till 9... which makes me a good candidate for a good ass mugging if you ask me.. i'm scared now..."

(I never got mugged... luckily)

"i sat in chemistry banging my head because i have already done all this crap from last year.. from the same book.. so i wanted to beat myself."

(Oh, AP Chemistry... you didn't help me FOR SHIT, but I did have some fantastic note-passing days that semester in class)

"in english... my next class... i fell in love with my professor and he didn't like me. the punk ass. he can't understand my writing. prick. and so... i sat there, shared crap about me to a bunch of pricky ass kids.. and umm.. then called my momma to come pick me up.. i felt retarded."

(Umm... it appears I was extremely fond of ellipses, still am, but goddamn, I killed it-- negative connotation)

"it's funny how in high school, the "cool kids" ignore your ass.. make fun of your ass.. and.. alienate your ass.. but all of a sudden, you see 'em in college and they're like "oh my god!! like, HI!!" while you just stand there like "umm.. ok? why are you talking to me?"

(Apparently, I was a bitter ass)

"when i got out of my chemistry class... the cool jock, the boy i had a crush on my junior year, talked to us. he was the one who talked to us and i was like "umm.. do i know you?" because i was walking down my very silent hall and he goes "HEY! HEY!" and i had to look up.. and there he was.. he goes "why, hello!!" and i stood there.. mute and sort of pissed. why is he talking to me now? and like if he knows me? in high school.. i wouldn't have gotten a word out of him unless i spoke of beer.. big boobs.. or parties. and now he's talking to me?! wow. so... i said nothing and walked off."

(I also think my keyboard had no Shift key)

"then, i saw another jock. he said "why, hello there guys!!" and with this guy i had to say hi... cuz he was in my physics class and math in my junior year and also in my calculus class last year. he helped me bend a hanger... long story. so i acted like a bimbo with him."

(Umm... I don't know how to defend this)

August 26, 2003:
(My second day, remember, my day started at 5PM and ended at 9PM)

"this is weird. i really don't like it. maybe it'll get better when i drive? and hopefully i don't get mugged today after school. if i don't write in here tonight... please, someone, anyone call the cops and alert them that a student is missing!! i don't want to be found in some dumpster or something...."

(Ah, yes, that bright little optimism that has always characterized me)

"my biology class is full of old people. they make fun of us.. 5 freshmen in the class. and umm.. this one man.. guy.. whatever.. that is so incredibly gorgeous and built (that i wonder if he's at all interested in females.... ya know.. wink wink..) is in that class and he takes my attention away from the very cool (seriously now) teacher.. i didn't get her name."

(That teacher wound up being the worst fucking cunt on the face of the planet. On her eval, I wrote "This woman made me want to slit my wrists every single day," you know, to get my point across)

"i went to calculus and the annoying bastard who is alway yelling out the wrong answers talked to me.. more like.. tried to mack on me... i don't know.. he was throwing his game at me.. and i was like 'nah... i'm only interested in school.. '"

(That kid... he was such a pain in the ass. And he was hell of rude. I'd ace the exams and he'd always peek at my test once it was returned. He'd be such a fucking asshole about my grade. "A 96%?! How the hell did YOU do that?" Umm, maybe because I get the subject, dick face. Now quit putting it on blast, I like being anonymous)

Jesus... would anyone ever believe that girl would acquire a biology degree four years later?
If anyone read all that, bless your heart... you have a strong stomach.