Much better that way?

One week left...
and yes, that's me lamenting over not speaking up and asking him to a beer or something (I say that as if I can actually hold eye-contact with the guy for longer than three seconds. Also, beer? Why don't I proceed to invite him to a strip club and then shoot some craps at the Wynn... I'm such a dude).

I'm not nearly as put together as DINO

Last time I actually saw him was my last semester of college back in '07. I hadn't noticed he was in the class before my geology class (yeah, I took Rocks for Jocks my final semester just for the hell of it... I mean, growing up poor, one grows a strange affinity for rocks, since they're pretty much the only playmates one can find for free 24/7. They're pretty, you can chuck them at people... you can draw on cement with them... all that good stuff. I even have a "pet" rock [that I painted with nail-polish] called "Dino" because its shape reminds me of the skull of like... a triceratops or something) until about the last month of school. Bummer, because I spent the entire semester looking like shit... getting up early when I finally didn't have to (the only class I really needed started at 5PM), sometimes heading to class freshly rolled out of bed and half asleep... basically, not giving a damn. When I finally did bump into him, I remember snapping awake and thinking "Fuck, fuck, fuck. Really, universe? On the day I come dressed like a boy?"
Always a lovely image to be left with- AnoMALIE: the boy.

Anyway, even after all this time of not seeing him, Darcy remains the guy I use to compare other dudes.

-He's alright... but he's not as smart as Darcy.

-Yeah... I guess he's funny... but not as witty as Darcy.

-I guess he's hot... but he doesn't smile like Darcy.

-He's ok, but he doesn't understand sarcasm... how the hell am I gonna work with that? You know who got my sarcasm? Darcy (Or so I think... it's what I tell myself to keep from feeling too bad about being so sarcastic around him-- something I've noticed I can't control around him, and have a tendency to over-do)
I even did that with MGH towards the end of the relationship.
This guy... with him, I only care about drinking, playing video games, and poker... sure, he makes me smile, but he also makes me dumber... I'm not motivated to be smarter, like I am when I think of Mr. Darcy.

Yeah... I know, I sabotage myself... there aren't duplicates to people. But what can I say? My affinity for Darcy was immediate, straight up inexplicable.I get this strange sense of familiarity with him, as if I've known him my entire life. I'm drawn to him, despite having hardly crossed a word with him in person (well, it's not like I've only said "Hi" and "Bye" to him, but still).
This attraction is a little difficult for me to slap back into check. No other dude has had a similar effect on me yet... no offense to the dudes I've been involved with in the last 6 years (y'all were fun, and I appreciate the attention and the memories).

Ok, enough of me being mushy and weird... I promise it'll go away after a few days when my brain comes to terms with the fact that my "Darcy" only considers me an acquaintance. He's just a cool, interesting friend... who kind of only remembers me if he... I don't know if anything reminds him of me, well, besides me being a pain in the ass and writing to him to ask a question (because I was the weirdo who saw something and thought of him... anything Tim Burton-related, or I rode a tightly packed elevator, or someone brought up necrophilia--don't ask--, or I heard something in German, or I see black nail polish... or well, the list is long. I'm a pre-teen at heart, remember?).
The waters had been calm for quite a while, I had accepted my place as an "oh yeah, I know her" girl. It was only recently that everything started reminding me of him and I lost my cool

ANYWAY! I'll quit being pathetic now.
Here's a little something more in my style:

(Mom, talking with my Godmom--who is, coincidentally, my first cousin-- about our upcoming trip to Chicago next month. She's in the kitchen, I walk in to get a drink)

Mom: Yeah, we get there on the 13th. Me, Din, and AnoMALIE.
(listens to Godmom talk)
Mom: No, he's not going... he has to stay and work.
(I notice dad walking towards us from his bedroom. Mom has her back to him. I raise my eyebrow... my universal sign for Shut the fuck up!! that apparently doesn't translate so well)
(Listens to Godmom talk)
(Dad is now directly behind Mom)
Mom: Yeah, it's much better that way!
Dad: Have you cooked anything yet?
(Mom's makes her Oh, Fuck! face and turns around. She shakes her head)
Dad: Let me know when you do.
(Dad walks back to his room. Mom and I stare at each other... I shake my head and mouth "Damn..." as I run my right index finger down my right cheek)

With a dad as indiscreet as mine, and a mother so prone to putting her foot in her mouth... shit. When it came to procreating, they clearly didn't think that one through.
They fucked me real nice.