Return of the Blaaareyouserious?!

Wow.

I had been GREAT at not contacting MGH.
I did not comment a photo, I did not "like" his statuses, I did not get on any sort of on-line messenger... I had ceased all contact.
I mean, it was what I had to do to stay sane.

I would love to remain friends, and I don't doubt some day I will be able to look at him and not feel like someone's tugging at my heart... but not yet. I need to maintain that heavily-guarded wall... and keep away from anything related to him. I have to act as if he doesn't exist.

But... he broke that barrier today.
He ended the stalemate-- he initiated contact.
And my stupid heart... and my stupid brain got a jolt. Thoughts swirled my head uncontrollably... and my heart raced.

I was at the airport, pretty pissed about my brother being the last idiot out of the gate... surrounded by boring-ass Brits... and I saw his message pop up.

MGH: Hey.

Me: que onda morro. (stay calm, AnoMALIE... show no emotion. Be detached) como estas?! :) (you. fucking. idiot.)

And I knew I was a goner.

It sucks to know that no matter how hard I try, and how much control I feel I have over the situation, this guy can still turn my world upside down.
It breaks my heart to know MGH knows this, and he still ever-so recklessly fucks with it.

I was having such a fucking awesome day.
My brother came back from South Africa...
Henry David Thoreau returned to my loving arms...

I missed my little love, HDT!!

I even had a great morning! Do you know how much I hate mornings?

MGH, you will never learn... and apparently neither will I.