Two of my cousins "eloped" over the weekend. I use the term lightly, since they were already living with their respective concubines (I love that term) for years. No one was surprised.
Tomorrow, I have another wedding to attend (WHO gets married on a Monday?).
This marriage bullshit has brought about my favorite topic with my family and friends:
Hey, AnoMALIE! How's your love life?!
This question has been popping up ALL month.
MGH and Jose asked me at the start of the month.
Jose: So you're not seeing anyone?
Me: (constantly thinking about someone but) Nnnno.
MGH's other friend asked me last week.
Pedro: Are YOU in a relationship?
Me: Nope. Not at all.
Pedro: Good. Relationships are DRAMA.
The girls were all over this question during the bachelorette.
While they were happy to dance with random strangers, I'd immediately end my prancing the moment any dude would approach me.
Is your boyfriend hella possessive or something?
Mine? No. Funny thing is, I'm single as single can be. And I kind of want to keep it that way.
You DO like guys, right? 'cause we can always go to a strip club or something.
Oh, I LOVE guys. I just don't like developing feelings for anyone.
I'm sure a few of them weren't satisfied with that answer... or they're probably thoroughly convinced I'm a weirdo.
But that shit doesn't compare to the pressure from some of my family.
My dad's side is relentless. Mom only has that one sister who continuously badgers me about finding a guy, ANY guy, to settle down with and proceed to procreate.
I could tell them all my reason for not jumping at the first cat-call a dude throws my way. I could tell them why I shy away from the drunk dudes at the club who are overly aggressive and eager to shove their crotch against my lower regions.
I could tell them of the fact that I do like someone. That I've liked someone for a very long time... which tends to be my style. I meet a dude, think he's awesome, never say a word, and just let that memory last in my mind for years.
I could tell them that whenever I meet a new guy, I compare him to this one dude, and he doesn't measure up. The guy either doesn't make me laugh hard enough... or his jokes aren't as sarcastically witty... or he just doesn't like dark comedy. If the guy does make me laugh, then he's usually not as smart as this one guy, or at least not interested in the same subjects. Nothing bums me out more than when I'm the smart one in the relationship-- I love to learn and admire, always have, not the other way around.
I could tell them that when I meet a new guy, I don't feel the blood rush to my face and ears... suddenly turning deaf and only hearing "the ocean" that is the rushing blood in my ears.
The room never turns brighter when a dude walks in... it used to, with this one dude.
I don't zone off into la-la land as I stare at his smile... feel as if my own cheeks are going to burst off my face from grinning so wide as he speaks to me. This one dude had that affect on me, though, so I know it's possible.
I could tell them how there isn't a day that goes by where something doesn't brings this one dude to mind. I don't usually care for what any other guy may be thinking or doing at any given moment, but often--with this one dude-- I'll find myself doing that corny thing where I stare at the moon and wonder if he did that at any point a couple of hours earlier.
I could tell them about this one dude... who was such an awesome dude I once met, but was too shy to speak more than a few phrases to him every other day. He went about his life, never knowing how rad I thought he was, and I went about mine... focused on not fucking up in school (which I still did anyway), thinking some day down the road--once school wouldn't be murdering me-- I'd find someone just like this one dude... that Darcy. But everyone knows there's only one Darcy... I done fucked up, homie.
I could tell them all that, but I just shrug it off and change the subject.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm the weird girl whose quickly working her way to becoming the neighborhood catlady (correction: chinchilla lady, since I'm allergic to cats). Wah, wah, waaaah! Now quit worrying about my future, nosey old ladies and bitchy young girls. I'll be fine.
Tomorrow, I have another wedding to attend (WHO gets married on a Monday?).
This marriage bullshit has brought about my favorite topic with my family and friends:
Hey, AnoMALIE! How's your love life?!
This question has been popping up ALL month.
MGH and Jose asked me at the start of the month.
Jose: So you're not seeing anyone?
Me: (constantly thinking about someone but) Nnnno.
MGH's other friend asked me last week.
Pedro: Are YOU in a relationship?
Me: Nope. Not at all.
Pedro: Good. Relationships are DRAMA.
The girls were all over this question during the bachelorette.
While they were happy to dance with random strangers, I'd immediately end my prancing the moment any dude would approach me.
Is your boyfriend hella possessive or something?
Mine? No. Funny thing is, I'm single as single can be. And I kind of want to keep it that way.
You DO like guys, right? 'cause we can always go to a strip club or something.
Oh, I LOVE guys. I just don't like developing feelings for anyone.
I'm sure a few of them weren't satisfied with that answer... or they're probably thoroughly convinced I'm a weirdo.
But that shit doesn't compare to the pressure from some of my family.
My dad's side is relentless. Mom only has that one sister who continuously badgers me about finding a guy, ANY guy, to settle down with and proceed to procreate.
I could tell them all my reason for not jumping at the first cat-call a dude throws my way. I could tell them why I shy away from the drunk dudes at the club who are overly aggressive and eager to shove their crotch against my lower regions.
I could tell them of the fact that I do like someone. That I've liked someone for a very long time... which tends to be my style. I meet a dude, think he's awesome, never say a word, and just let that memory last in my mind for years.
I could tell them that whenever I meet a new guy, I compare him to this one dude, and he doesn't measure up. The guy either doesn't make me laugh hard enough... or his jokes aren't as sarcastically witty... or he just doesn't like dark comedy. If the guy does make me laugh, then he's usually not as smart as this one guy, or at least not interested in the same subjects. Nothing bums me out more than when I'm the smart one in the relationship-- I love to learn and admire, always have, not the other way around.
I could tell them that when I meet a new guy, I don't feel the blood rush to my face and ears... suddenly turning deaf and only hearing "the ocean" that is the rushing blood in my ears.
The room never turns brighter when a dude walks in... it used to, with this one dude.
I don't zone off into la-la land as I stare at his smile... feel as if my own cheeks are going to burst off my face from grinning so wide as he speaks to me. This one dude had that affect on me, though, so I know it's possible.
I could tell them how there isn't a day that goes by where something doesn't brings this one dude to mind. I don't usually care for what any other guy may be thinking or doing at any given moment, but often--with this one dude-- I'll find myself doing that corny thing where I stare at the moon and wonder if he did that at any point a couple of hours earlier.
I could tell them about this one dude... who was such an awesome dude I once met, but was too shy to speak more than a few phrases to him every other day. He went about his life, never knowing how rad I thought he was, and I went about mine... focused on not fucking up in school (which I still did anyway), thinking some day down the road--once school wouldn't be murdering me-- I'd find someone just like this one dude... that Darcy. But everyone knows there's only one Darcy... I done fucked up, homie.
I could tell them all that, but I just shrug it off and change the subject.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm the weird girl whose quickly working her way to becoming the neighborhood catlady (correction: chinchilla lady, since I'm allergic to cats). Wah, wah, waaaah! Now quit worrying about my future, nosey old ladies and bitchy young girls. I'll be fine.
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