Sniff that?

I usually gripe when someone shows up to the gym after clearly spritzing themselves with perfume.

It fucking kills me and ruins my workout.

There's one offender in particular that irritates the shit out of me, because her scent is heavily accented on the sweet note... she comes in smelling like freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. I give her my extra mean glare... my "How DARE you smell like cookies in a place like this?!" glare. One day I'm just going to lunge at her and lick her fucking arm. 

It's like that fucking jerk who stands outside of a gym munching on a twinkie... or enjoying an ice cream cone... it's downright cruel!

Mmm... I think I want a brownie now.

Anyway, today I was about to have a fit because a chick decided to stand directly in front of me, and I SMELLED her before I saw her.

But then that weird girl-thing happened... that thing we do where we associate memories with certain scents.

The moment I identified her perfume, I eased up. I relaxed.

It was a fucking tranquilizer dart to my carotid.

What did she smell like?

Dior's "J'adore."

Who's responsible for this weapon? Mooney. And her Mom.

I associate them with this smell... their HUG, to be exact. 

I love their hugs. They have that soothing quality to them.

It's comfortable. Yeah. That's the word that comes to mind when I smell "J'adore," comfortable.

Back when my siblings and I were ghetto kids, Mooney's family was the family that made us feel any sense of normalcy. They gave us a glimpse of what normal life could be like.

They had their own beds... rooms... a back yard. They lived in a cute neighborhood with neighbors who actually knew each other. They lived close enough to their school to actually walk there. 

They had the life of kids depicted on television. They let us know that yo, that TV life really DOES exist... it's not all scary drive-bys, prostitutes, and drug dealers.

I relished every second I got to spend with Mooney and her family. I felt safe... and normal (especially since they NEVER made fun of where/how we lived... unlike my other side of the family, who wouldn't think twice to remind us YOU live in a one-bedroom piece of shit that NO ONE wants to visit because we might see a cockroach or get SHOT!).

Yeah... J'adore is my tranquilizer gun.

This made me think.

What other smells fuck with my mood due to my mental associations?

mmmmmm!

1. Dior- Addict

This I associate with MGH... and San Francisco.

My first time in SF where I stayed in MGH's house, I remember this perfume leaked in my luggage. EVERYTHING smelled like this... not that it was bad... but when your eyeliner pencil gives you a waft of Addict each time you bring it to your eye, it kind of gets annoying.

Anyway, whenever I smell this, I get both a sense of excitement... as well as anxiety.

It makes my stomach get into knots.

A sad state of affairs, really.

Quit laughing!

2. Paris Hilton's "Paris Hilton."

College. College. College.

Both the good and the bad... but mostly the good. I particularly remember sitting outside O-chem class, reading the damn book as my ass froze on the cement tables/benches, but enjoying the clear spring day. Such a pretty day... such a godforsaken subject matter... and the smell of "Paris Hilton" (yo, I must note I DID NOT purchase this myself. It was a gift... which I wound up loving. But don't share that shit with anyone).

I still go to this fragrance whenever I went to feel the butterflies I felt my first few years of college.

Good times, good times.

Makes this monster weep with joy...

3. Caress's "Tahitian Renewal Silkening Body Wash"

I will sit in the shower, motionless, my nose attached to this bottle... for at least five minutes.

It turns me into a puffer.

The amount of joy this smell brings to me kind of sort of freaks me out.

My go-to smell whenever I need to seriously cheer-up, Zoloft be fucking damned.

Europe is associated with this smell. It's the body wash I toted around all over the fucking continent back in '08.

The moment this gets discontinued I'm going to go out and get fucked up... mourning the loss of this... wonderful scent. A beautiful part of my memory will go to hell.

There are other smells, like wet dirt, Sun Chips, or leather, which bring strong feelings/memories to mind (Mexico, barfing on the entire trip TO Mexico, and my maternal grandfather, respectively)... but the above three scents (four, if you count J'adore, which you absolutely should) are quite possibly the strongest for yours-truly. Scents which could most probably put me under a spell.

Fun shit, the female state of mind...

Now excuse me, I got some body wash to go sniff.