Oooops.
Update to last night's post: the relative passed away on the 31st... so technically, it wasn't 2012's fault... it just took the blame because that's when I found out.
I'm a little sensitive about receiving bad news while at a party... since you know, around this time of the year, my grandpa passed away on me while I was at a pub instead of at his side at the hospice. It makes me feel guilty. Not cool.
I cried from the sensitivity.
But it's all good this morning.
Technically, I already knocked out one of my resolutions. I "friended" two people in the wee hours of 2012. So boom. That's out of the way. Only 14 more resolutions to go (ufff. Puta hueva).
I got all my "mean" out yesterday... shit that happens when you spread yourself out too thin. I was stupid enough to think I could handle five parties in one day. A little too ambitious a task.
I was grouchy before I hit the first party. I even scared THREE little girls at that one. I was irritated over being held down at a three-year-old's birthday party, and having to be at a different event by 5:30. Considering that I was in the Northwest part of town, and had to find my way to central Vegas, I wanted to be out of the party by 5PM.
My mother, like always, decided she wanted to eat at 4:50PM... and of course, the woman can't eat without talking at the same time (thing which has made her nearly die at least three time due to the choking hazard that stupid habit is), so by 4:58PM, I was barking at her... and shoving my phone in her face. The moment I raised my voice at Mom ("it's five o'clock, MOM!"), the three little girls sitting at my table straightened up and stared at each other.
Yeah, you straighten up, little bitches... the moment you misbehave, I'll bark at you too.
I was a cunt for the entirety of that shindig, but I don't feel bad about it. Why? Because the hostess told her sister "A bajado un friego de peso! Estaba BIEN gorda!" ("She's lost a shit-ton of weight! She used to be REAL fat!") in reference to me... as I stood right there, staring at her.
People sure know how to compliment me...
Before leaving, we made sure to grab some of the Cazadores (gross, but whatever) spiked "ponche."
Anyway, I was falling asleep by the second event-- something expected of me after having downed tequila on an empty stomach. Hour and a half of that shit.
The third outing I was stoked for. There, I was force-fed menudo by the world's most adorable grandmother. I wound up slipping half of my bowl to Mom, who more than gladly helped me out.
I was at a cross-roads after this party. Since it was getting late, I was pressed for time. I had to choose between the last two parties, due to them being located on opposite sides of town. Sure, I could have hit both, but I don't usually enjoy showing up to something where everyone's already plastered-- you miss out on all the good stories.
So I weighed the pros and cons.
Well, where do I like more people?
The winner was:
Three people. The place where you like three people, AnoMALIE... one of them being... well, you know. Quit being lame.
The saddest part? The losing party was thrown by my cousin. Yup. That was very nice of me (apparently, based on photographs getting uploaded on Facebook, this was a fucking production. Tons of food, a band, and a DJ. Too bad it was riddled with douchebags and bitches. Which reminds me, I had the distinction of being the designated quiet bitch at the party I did decide to attend. That too was nice).
Anyway, since I had been out and about for so long, and I was a fucking imbecile the previous night and only slept for three hours, I was fucked by the fourth party. Total Debbie Downer.
Not a drop to drink, which I was informed was rude... but yo, it was my last day allowing myself to be rude... so I took full advantage of it (decision which later proved to be pretty wise, because five minutes into my drive home, a cop pulled over the car that had been driving alongside me for that same amount of time. What he did wrong that I did right I will never know. My blood ran cold for a couple of minutes after that. A ticket is the last fucking thing I need right now).
But I can't complain (though I'm sure THEY can), my cheeks were hurting throughout the night from laughing so hard (to tell you the truth--as an "adult"-- I don't think I've ever laughed on a NYE. It's usually a time where I'm sad and in denial over the year coming to an end).
Then I received the text informing me of the death in the family, and my otherwise good end to the night went to hell.
Oh well. Asi es la vida.
I'm gonna miss being mean.
Update to last night's post: the relative passed away on the 31st... so technically, it wasn't 2012's fault... it just took the blame because that's when I found out.
I'm a little sensitive about receiving bad news while at a party... since you know, around this time of the year, my grandpa passed away on me while I was at a pub instead of at his side at the hospice. It makes me feel guilty. Not cool.
I cried from the sensitivity.
But it's all good this morning.
Technically, I already knocked out one of my resolutions. I "friended" two people in the wee hours of 2012. So boom. That's out of the way. Only 14 more resolutions to go (ufff. Puta hueva).
I got all my "mean" out yesterday... shit that happens when you spread yourself out too thin. I was stupid enough to think I could handle five parties in one day. A little too ambitious a task.
I was grouchy before I hit the first party. I even scared THREE little girls at that one. I was irritated over being held down at a three-year-old's birthday party, and having to be at a different event by 5:30. Considering that I was in the Northwest part of town, and had to find my way to central Vegas, I wanted to be out of the party by 5PM.
My mother, like always, decided she wanted to eat at 4:50PM... and of course, the woman can't eat without talking at the same time (thing which has made her nearly die at least three time due to the choking hazard that stupid habit is), so by 4:58PM, I was barking at her... and shoving my phone in her face. The moment I raised my voice at Mom ("it's five o'clock, MOM!"), the three little girls sitting at my table straightened up and stared at each other.
Yeah, you straighten up, little bitches... the moment you misbehave, I'll bark at you too.
I was a cunt for the entirety of that shindig, but I don't feel bad about it. Why? Because the hostess told her sister "A bajado un friego de peso! Estaba BIEN gorda!" ("She's lost a shit-ton of weight! She used to be REAL fat!") in reference to me... as I stood right there, staring at her.
People sure know how to compliment me...
Before leaving, we made sure to grab some of the Cazadores (gross, but whatever) spiked "ponche."
Anyway, I was falling asleep by the second event-- something expected of me after having downed tequila on an empty stomach. Hour and a half of that shit.
The third outing I was stoked for. There, I was force-fed menudo by the world's most adorable grandmother. I wound up slipping half of my bowl to Mom, who more than gladly helped me out.
I was at a cross-roads after this party. Since it was getting late, I was pressed for time. I had to choose between the last two parties, due to them being located on opposite sides of town. Sure, I could have hit both, but I don't usually enjoy showing up to something where everyone's already plastered-- you miss out on all the good stories.
So I weighed the pros and cons.
Well, where do I like more people?
The winner was:
Three people. The place where you like three people, AnoMALIE... one of them being... well, you know. Quit being lame.
The saddest part? The losing party was thrown by my cousin. Yup. That was very nice of me (apparently, based on photographs getting uploaded on Facebook, this was a fucking production. Tons of food, a band, and a DJ. Too bad it was riddled with douchebags and bitches. Which reminds me, I had the distinction of being the designated quiet bitch at the party I did decide to attend. That too was nice).
Anyway, since I had been out and about for so long, and I was a fucking imbecile the previous night and only slept for three hours, I was fucked by the fourth party. Total Debbie Downer.
Not a drop to drink, which I was informed was rude... but yo, it was my last day allowing myself to be rude... so I took full advantage of it (decision which later proved to be pretty wise, because five minutes into my drive home, a cop pulled over the car that had been driving alongside me for that same amount of time. What he did wrong that I did right I will never know. My blood ran cold for a couple of minutes after that. A ticket is the last fucking thing I need right now).
But I can't complain (though I'm sure THEY can), my cheeks were hurting throughout the night from laughing so hard (to tell you the truth--as an "adult"-- I don't think I've ever laughed on a NYE. It's usually a time where I'm sad and in denial over the year coming to an end).
Then I received the text informing me of the death in the family, and my otherwise good end to the night went to hell.
Oh well. Asi es la vida.
I'm gonna miss being mean.
No comments:
Post a Comment