The stars don't like Cretins.

Man, no matter how hard I try to like this one dude, I just can't get over how much of a cretin he is.
I don't mean "like" in the sense of falling in love yada yada yada, no, I mean, to enjoy his company as the "boyfriend" of a friend's friend. To appreciate him being part of the group... and even the human race. To listen to his "arguments" and comments without it being accompanied by my desire to vomit or jump at his throat à la Homer Simpson with Bart (when his conversation revolves around math-oriented subjects is probably the only time I enjoy him even opening his mouth to utter anything. I must say, he's witty when it comes to that subject).

This kid is genuinely unlikable. He's such a prick... and it's not like he picks out a certain group to be a prick to, no, he's an equal opportunity offender.
It'd hurt if his insults were bad (as in, planned out... or making any sort of sense. Not his argument of "you suck because I say you suck even though I have no idea what cretin means because I don't care about reading or learning anything about language because if it isn't math it's stupid because it doesn't make sense to me and if it doesn't make sense to me it's stupid and fake and useless").
No, this kid's insults are similar to those of an eight year old (I was going to say ten-year-old, but I realized ten-year-olds usually know how to read, and this fucker's quite the retard). I think the only person he hurts is his girlfriend.
At some point they were engaged... I think... then all of a sudden he starts correcting people (and he does it like such an asshole, too) when they call her his girlfriend,
Him: Roommate! She's only my roommate!
Bitch.
I guess he thinks we'll find it funny... when it really only is insulting to the poor girl who's only a good person... like a little lamb.
Maybe that's why he angers me. If his chick were a fellow asshole, maybe I wouldn't mind... but this girl's a good girl that gets brainwashed by Cretin Boy into thinking she can do no better because she's a fat, ugly idiot (which she obviously is none of the above).

He ruined my night.
It would have been great had he been absent.
Cretin Boy, you ruined Astrology Night for me... thanks, bitch.

Anyway, Astrology Night was funny to me... because while Cretin Boy was talking his shit and saying the astrology stuff was stupid and people who liked it were stupid, the rest of us at the table read his "Birthday page" in which his personality was described. It fit him to a T. He read it and scoffed.
"I'm hurtful? Pfffft! No I'm not! Am I hurtful?! No!"
The rest of us at the table stared at each other.
Shit, the people who wrote this shit must have gotten the CIA to spy on Cretin Boy for a couple of months and used him to describe this day. Wow.
FutureDentistFriend wrote down Cretin Boy's name in the book faster than anybody else's.

Anyway, off him and onto people that really matter from that night:
I had previously been informed of FutureDentistFriend's interest in all that is Astrology (I mean, I kinda got the hint when I introduced myself to her for the first time and she asked for my birthday and then said "Ah! You're a Pisces! I get along with Pisces... nice to meet you, my Pisces friend!"), but when she walked in the Sushi place (my sushi appreciation is back on. I ate my California Roll without gagging) with that big book ("the Bible"), I got the picture of how much she dug the subject.
She made me read my "Birthday page," she wanted me to read it aloud, but instead, I just pointed to parts that were true about my nature.
There was a good amount that was wrong (the whole me being a business girl... or me paying a lot of attention to how good I look before going out was sort of wrong. I do like to go out looking decent, but I won't kill myself trying to... wait, no... I do. I take it back. I guess I disagreed because often, as hard as I try, I still go out looking like shit... I know it, and it does bother me for the rest of the day, but I know there isn't much more I can do. I was born this way, damn it! I can't fix my nose no matter how much bronzer I apply!), but there were parts that kind of freaked me out.
March 1st: The Day of Artistic Sensibilities.
No manchen! Que... acaso a mí también me persiguieron por meses y luego decidieron escribir esta chingadera, o qué?
Towards the end of the page I did get bummed out. It mentioned that when my life sucks... it really sucks. When it rains for me, it really pours. I experience the bad at a really bad level.
To which my response was:
THANK YOU! I've been trying to tell people that for years, but they just call me a drama queen!
Man, did I feel validated! haha.
The advice for me?
Be! Aggressive! Be! Be aggressive!!
Not exactly like that, obviously, but that was basically the bottom line.

At the end of it all, I had to sign my name to the page... because it did represent me to a large extent.
It made FutureDentistFriend happy, but I'm pretty sure I now have to go to confessionals and tell my priest about this (I also got a tarot reading from another friend at the table, which would probably be frowned upon much more by the priest than me reading a page from FutureDentistFriend's "Bible").
I'd do it again though, 'cause it was funny to see the look of "Oh shit!" from others who felt they were being described perfectly.
"This is some creepy shit, dude!"
Why, yes... yes it is.

P.S. Those sweet ass Hula-Hoop bruises are back! Except this time they're smaller... which makes me feel even more badass!
I'm growing immune to the hula! Holler!