Well, on Saturday we visited my aunt who had just returned from her three week stay in Mexico (which reminds me... I have to write an affidavit. That blows).
What did Auntie bring back for us?
JAMONCILLO!
Now, I'm not a huge fan.
When it comes to goat's milk... eh... I kind of... not avoid it... but I prefer cow milk, to tell you the truth.
Whenever I'm in Mexico, I'll probably have a tiny one inch cube of the candy, and then forget it exists.
I don't blame the goat's milk... just the overall consistency of the candy. It's brittle but gooey in a strange way... it makes my palate go "What the fuck is this?"
But oddly enough, I was ecstatic Auntie had brought us some Jamoncillo.
However, when we were going to bring some home, Mom told Auntie we just wanted an eighth of the block, since at the household, only Dad and I eat Jamoncillo when the feeling strikes.
So I ate my half of the eight of Jamoncillo that Saturday (I shared with Little Sister).
Mom set Dad's Jamoncillo in a cupboard... since dad bulldozes through candy like it's his job, Mom wanted to make sure he didn't eat the candy until Sunday afternoon when he wouldn't keep her up at night complaining "Woman, I don't feel too good... my stomach hurts..."
Well, things went down Sunday morning.
Mom wanted to go eat at a restaurant, Dad said:
I don't want to spend money at *restaurant A* or money at *restaurant B* and especially no money at *restaurant C* What's so wrong with a home cooked meal?
This sent Mom over the edge.
Mom hates cooking (something she acquired in her youth, since her Dad thought girls were only good for cooking and cleaning and yada yada yada and because of that, didn't let her go to school like she had originally wanted. I've explained this before, I think).
So what did Mom do?
She went into Little Sister's room where I was studying while watching some extreme sport's show, and handed me the remaining eighth of Jamoncillo.
I ate a little... then put it aside.
Mom was still standing in the room... eventually lying next to me... so I asked:
Me: Umm... is this for me?
Mom: Yes. Eat it all.
Me: I thought it was for Dad...
Mom: No. It's not.
Me: That's not what you said yesterday...
(she's not looking at me... just BMXer Dave Mirra.)
Me: (internally) I knew she liked Bicycles... but damn. (spoken) Are you mad at Dad?
Mom: Yes. (still looking at the television)
Me: Because he didn't take you out to dinner?
Mom: Yes. He wants me to cook! To cook!! I bet he doesn't remember tomorrow's our anniversary.
Me: Oh... ok... should I tell him?
Mom: No!! If he remembers, good for him. If he doesn't... pshhh.
Mom left to the living room to watch her Univision... and she left me the jamoncillo.
I didn't touch it for the rest of the day... because I don't love the damn thing.
Then comes today.
I swore Pops was going to forget the anniversary thing... but as soon as I stepped in the house from school, here came dad with a load of groceries.
Me: Dad! You remembered!
Dad: What?
Me: Your 25th wedding anniversary!
Dad: Huh?
Me: (internally) Fuck! You mean you just went grocery shopping after Mom and I did it yesterday?? Tell me you're joking!
Dad: Oh! Yeah... I'm cooking your mom a lobster dinner tonight. It's better than getting ripped off at some restaurant.
Me: (internally) sick. (spoken) That's cool. 25 years!! (internally) You better let that shit stick in your head!! 25 years today, got it? Say it!!
So I left the kitchen area and ran to Little Sister's room where I left the jamoncillo yesterday.
Fuck... Mom's gonna cheer up and give the jamoncillo to Dad!!
What did I do?
I ate that bitch!
Now my stomach hurts.
Lesson learned: Don't be a greedy bastard!
5 comments:
Today's my dad's birthday too. I called him and he was at work. He was surprised I remembered.
What are you doing for Halloween? And have you found a costume?
Yeah, I always remember your Pops' birthday. He turned the big 5-0 today, didn't he? Another uncle of mine turned... I think 52 today (cousin with implants' dad).
Quite the popular day.
As for Halloween, I'm not sure what I'm doing on the 31st. The 30th I have this one party I must go to because I always flake on that friend, and I can't do it this time.
I'm leaning towards Dr. Callie Torres from Grey's Anatomy... just because I already have the gear, and it's so much more comfortable than a hooched-out go-go dancer (although the make-up will not be nearly as awesome). But, eh, whatever.
Y tu que, niña? Que vas a hacer.
Yeah, the big 5-0. It's crazy.
I dunno either, I'm trying to find a cute costume...I want to go to that costume place on Decatur near the 215. We could go together and see? Lol. I just don't want to go alone, I'd feel weird. I'd go with you to that party if you want! :D Haha...I'm not trying to latch on. Just an offer as a "date" lmao. I wanna smack Callie on Grey's, I feel as though it's lost it's lustre now...but now that I heard Joshua Jackson (from Mighty Ducks, Dawson's Creek, Urban Legend) is going to be on it...my mind might change again.
since dad bulldozes through candy like it's his job
To think, my kids are going to grow up saying the same thing about me ;-)
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