Do it wit u

I should have known it was a bad idea.
I hate myself for being so damn nice (I know, sometimes I don't come off as a nice girl, but in all reality, I'm too fucking polite sometimes).

I only agreed to hanging out with Obnoxious Guy because I (very idiotically) thought it would end his fucking nagging of "We need to hang out!!"

Fuck, dude, if I've come up with an excuse not to hang out with you for the past year, get the fucking hint.

Anyway... on Sunday, I was nice enough to accompany him to his favorite restaurant (Cheesecake Factory... even thinking about it sends chills down my spine... ew) where I had the sickest (in a bad way) chopped salad of my life.
Since I was ignoring my food, I was forced to hold a conversation with him.

We laughed about the old days... I even took little jabs at him, reminding him of how he'd wear Dolphin shorts when he was around 11... and how he'd refer to his legs as "piernas" (Spanish for legs... but generally--with Mexicans-- used when referring to women...), how he'd throw a hissy fit if he ever got his "piernas" scratched, how he once got bitten by our neighbor's dog smack dab in the middle of his gut... where I even saw some fat fly out of the dog's mouth. The list goes on... I mean, we ghetto kids have crazy little stories that can be embarrassing as all hell once we leave the ghetto.

He did bring up marriage... he tried to make it seem like he was joking, but I straight up said "Dude, I'm never getting married... fuck that. If I ever do that stupid shit, I'll be well past 26." Then he asked me how old I was (bitch, we went to middle school together, how the fuck are you going to tell me you don't know how old I am?).

I was doing everything in my power to be... unattractive to any guy, in that way. But somehow, it wasn't regestering in his brain.

I thought he got the hint of me not wanting anything to do with him in that sense after all my indirect "you're-so-gay!" remarks... even when I agreed for him to be my gym buddy from time to time, by telling him about my kickboxing class where all the men there are gay (he fucking agreed to come along! WTF was going on here?).
He kept me engaged in conversation at the parking lot for around 40 minutes... even after I told him I had somewhere else to be in a couple of minutes.

Of course, I was being nice...
I turned especially stupid once he called me a "Humble... down to earth... low-maintenance... chill person."
I don't know if anyone has ever called me "down to earth" or "low-maintenance" in my entire life.

Chill person? Ok, buddy... I guess I won't ever be rude to you...

He then proceeded to tell me I used "big words" in my sentences.

Really? I do? That's a shocker... especially since I'm constantly dropping the F-bomb in my speech... which I'm sure relegates me to... just a little above sailor status.

So, here we were, in the parking garage talking stuff. Agreeing to working out together sometimes. This is where I made the enormous mistake (remember, I was stupefied by the fact that someone had called me low-maintenance, down to earth, chill person) of calling him my "new gym buddy."

This leads me to last night.
Around 10:30 PM he calls me.
I ignore the call.
Fuck that, you must be special for me to answer the phone to your call past 9 PM (usually these people I've already told that it's cool to do that).
Then around 11:30 PM he sends me this text:

"I WANT TO DO IT WIT U.. I WANT OUR BODIES 2 SWEAT & I WANT US 2 START BREATHING FASTER AS WE GO... SO DO U WANNA GO RUNNING?!"

N*99@ wha??

I tried not to trip.
But I was so... irritated (ok, I was a little angry. Especially since I've told this fucker time and time again that I'm over my text messaging limit for carriers outside Verizon... even to his face... all this month. WTF! I'm going to fucking bill his home and tell him he better pay me if he plans on wasting my text messages with idiotic texts that I certainly don't appreciate).
Seriously, guys, would you really say something like that to your sister (his text to me about the sweating)? Girls, if your brother sent you something like that... wouldn't you just... slightly vomit in your own mouth?

I never gave him the go-ahead to joke around with me like that.
I have never flirted with him... not even by using damn little emoticons on e-mails/text messages (hence why I rarely ever use them).
I'm curt and concise when I have conversations with him.
Yes, there are guys I banter with in that manner... but you see, I actually like those guys... I don't indirectly call them gay to their face... and I definitely don't ignore them for a year.

Pshh... he's just lucky he didn't say that to me in person... I would have slapped the mustache straight off his upper lip (he has a fucking mustache! A mustache!!! God, I feel so dirty).

Little Sister, I feel so fucking gross... you had a point in being rude to him.
Ew, ew, ewwwwwwww!

*****
Further Edit:
Thanks to the inability of a particular person to read and comprehend at a proper level for his age group (23), I have decided to remove the photograph of Obnoxious Guy. I don't want to further distress this male role model of society.

Now, let us all pray for those who have learning disabilities... it must be tough, and terribly traumatizing to be the only one in your group unable to understand a word of what the "grown ups" are saying.
(In all seriousness, I do hope for the best with those who have difficulty learning).
However, if you're going to go as far as calling a complete stranger a cunt, you might as well be kind enough to say it to her face.

I'm sure you'd come out of it a champ, imbecile... oh, oh, wait, let me put it in terminology... I mean, "words" that you'll understand: loser.