Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Welcoming 2008

2008.

2008!

Two thousand motherfucking eight!

That's crazy to me. I remember New Year's 1990.

How did I spend my New Year's Eve?

Sick as a dog.

I was supposed to go to my Dad's sister's house right after church (Right now, I'm giving nuns a run for their money. I've been to church 5 times in the last 8 days. Pope, proclaim me a living saint, right?), but right before leaving for church, I totally felt when the illness claimed me as yet another victim.

The thing worsened smack dab in the middle of mass.
I had to tell Mom to take me home instead of to the party... she decided to come along with.

I came home, got into my pajamas, and laid in bed until 11:50PM.
I managed to see the fireworks from the great location of our kitchen (I'm not being sarcastic here, we really do have a nice view of the strip from where we live), and then I went to bed.

Of course, before going to sleep, everyone in the house (bro wasn't there... that asshole didn't stumble drunk on home until 4:40 in the morning) tried to "fix" me and my sickness.
I love home remedies.
They're so damn useless.

My right eye has been extremely watery for the last month or so... so that was the first thing they tried to fix.
Put Vick's on it!!

So I did.
No, not directly on it (like they used to when we were little when it came to putting Vick's inside our nostrils. Maybe that's why my sense of smell sucks so bad), but on my right temple.

Then my right nostril started running.

Put Vick's on it!!
So they did.
No, not directly in it... but all around it.

Next, my throat was closing up.
Put Vick's on it!!

Just kidding. Instead, they gave me some sort of Mexican remedy that really does work miracles... well, if you take it in time.
(Did I take it in time?
NO.
Of course not, this is AnoMALIE we're talking about. I woke up this morning sounding like fucking Barry White... and hacking up a load of phlegm.)

I had a headache.
Tylenol!!

So I took Tylenol.

I don't know if it was all the bullshit they were doing to me, or what, but then I started to cry (mind you, I didn't have any sort of alcohol to celebrate this New Year).
So then it took a while to calm down.
It took a while for Sis and Mom to convince me 2008 won't suck so much balls... and that it's OK to get older.

My Peter Pan Complex is worsening by the minute.

I'm better now, obviously... and more determined to make 2008 a fan-fucking-tastic year.
Damn it! And it will be!!

4 comments:

Kelley Karas said...

You have caught my illness :-(

Mooney said...

I spent it in bed as well. Yesterday that is.

Forgot to ask you how you guys liked your presents. I picked them out. I figured you'd like the barnes and noble over the itunes.

Native Minnow said...

I also stumbled in at 4 a.m., but I wasn't drunk, just way too tired. When do people start to realize that age is a factor to be dealt with accordingly? I certainly haven't yet.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog. I'm adding you to the list on mine :) Hope you feel better.