So the results are in.
According to my mitochondrial DNA... it looks like I'm:
Asian.
Southeast Asian.
...
Yep. Sounds about right.
Rafa and I joked about it before we even turned in our results. Based on what we saw on the accompanying DVD, we nailed it when they started to discuss... sheesh, I already forgot... but... it was a population in Asia. The body type was EXACTLY my mother's. Now that I look at her, the body characteristic are far more apparent (in the video, her body type was described as "a little furnace," term we now use to make fun of her. "What's up, Little Furnace?" On another note, this also helps support my claim that I was built to withstand long, cold winters. See! Seeeee! Though... I'm much longer than my mother, so... I'm a... faulty, less efficient little furnace?).
Oh my god, Mom, you're looking very Korean to me today!
(it also explains why I looked like this as a one year old:
That, ladies and gentlemen, is a Korean baby!-- and the girl holding me, has the same mtDNA as I do, actually... so... hmm)
Anyway, I ran into the results last night, when I decided to check in on the website.
I was so excited and entertained, I wound up going to bed around 2:30... that's fucking LATE for a grandma like me.
Now, the results also show that there's a significant amount of Native American, which obviously makes sense when you think of migratory patterns... so I can't say I'm all Asian.
I went ahead and played around with a website, where other people compared their mtDNA sequence, and I had 40 matches (a Korean was among the lucky 40, about 20 Spaniards, about seven Mexicans, and the rest were Cherokee Indians. How radtastic is that?!). Checking that shit out was fun... though... there's an extra transition substitution (here comes the boring shit you can skip if you hated the genetics portion of your high school/college education... which I wouldn't understand why, since that shit was always the most entertaining part of science class. Nothing like that hellish botany part. FUCK. PLANTS. Sorry for the tangent) in my sequence, which happens WAY before the first one with my matches, which is kind of... iffy... since I only found ONE person in the ENTIRE database with that particular substitution.
Does this make me retarded?... or... and ALIEN?! (that's sarcasm, calm down)
I'm blaming it on the fact that I had just eaten a Tomato and Basil Wheat Thin twenty minutes before swabbing my cheek. Fuck that weird shit.
I was eager to see Rafa's results, since I have his login information.
DUDE! Now we can make fun of Dad when he busts out his "I'M NOT MEXICAN! I'M SPANISH!" bullshit! "No, DAD, you're actually East African!"
They still hadn't posted his results last night, and when I woke up this morning, I saw this message when I tried logging in under his name:
ADDITIONAL TESTING REQUIRED
OF COURSE, RAFAEL D! OF COURSE!
When he did his first swab, he was so busy prancing around Mom telling her he was going to prove she was black, that he dropped his swab on the floor... the moron.
There go your hundred dollars, pendejo!
Then, on his second swab, he swabbed so hard he drew blood.
The men in my family... I swear.
So... I hope something is fucking salvageable from what remains of his samples. I can't wait to show Pops how NOT-European he really is.
According to my mitochondrial DNA... it looks like I'm:
Asian.
Southeast Asian.
...
Yep. Sounds about right.
Rafa and I joked about it before we even turned in our results. Based on what we saw on the accompanying DVD, we nailed it when they started to discuss... sheesh, I already forgot... but... it was a population in Asia. The body type was EXACTLY my mother's. Now that I look at her, the body characteristic are far more apparent (in the video, her body type was described as "a little furnace," term we now use to make fun of her. "What's up, Little Furnace?" On another note, this also helps support my claim that I was built to withstand long, cold winters. See! Seeeee! Though... I'm much longer than my mother, so... I'm a... faulty, less efficient little furnace?).
Oh my god, Mom, you're looking very Korean to me today!
(it also explains why I looked like this as a one year old:
Anyway, I ran into the results last night, when I decided to check in on the website.
I was so excited and entertained, I wound up going to bed around 2:30... that's fucking LATE for a grandma like me.
Now, the results also show that there's a significant amount of Native American, which obviously makes sense when you think of migratory patterns... so I can't say I'm all Asian.
I went ahead and played around with a website, where other people compared their mtDNA sequence, and I had 40 matches (a Korean was among the lucky 40, about 20 Spaniards, about seven Mexicans, and the rest were Cherokee Indians. How radtastic is that?!). Checking that shit out was fun... though... there's an extra transition substitution (here comes the boring shit you can skip if you hated the genetics portion of your high school/college education... which I wouldn't understand why, since that shit was always the most entertaining part of science class. Nothing like that hellish botany part. FUCK. PLANTS. Sorry for the tangent) in my sequence, which happens WAY before the first one with my matches, which is kind of... iffy... since I only found ONE person in the ENTIRE database with that particular substitution.
Does this make me retarded?... or... and ALIEN?! (that's sarcasm, calm down)
I'm blaming it on the fact that I had just eaten a Tomato and Basil Wheat Thin twenty minutes before swabbing my cheek. Fuck that weird shit.
I was eager to see Rafa's results, since I have his login information.
DUDE! Now we can make fun of Dad when he busts out his "I'M NOT MEXICAN! I'M SPANISH!" bullshit! "No, DAD, you're actually East African!"
They still hadn't posted his results last night, and when I woke up this morning, I saw this message when I tried logging in under his name:
ADDITIONAL TESTING REQUIRED
Your sample failed to yield results for the initial analysis. You do not need to take any action at this time. The lab will draw another sample from your vial and run a second test on your DNA. Please note that there will be an additional ten-day delay in delivering your results. Also, please be aware that in some cases the re-draw may be unsuccessful, in which case the lab would obtain a new sample from your second vial. Should this occur, we will post an updated message when you log in to check your status. |
OF COURSE, RAFAEL D! OF COURSE!
When he did his first swab, he was so busy prancing around Mom telling her he was going to prove she was black, that he dropped his swab on the floor... the moron.
There go your hundred dollars, pendejo!
Then, on his second swab, he swabbed so hard he drew blood.
The men in my family... I swear.
So... I hope something is fucking salvageable from what remains of his samples. I can't wait to show Pops how NOT-European he really is.
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