Since I'm AnoMALIE... and I'm an idiot, guess what I did today.
...
If you guessed "stabbed yourself with a knife and punctured a blood vessel" you would be correct.
Luckily, it was only my left thumb... not my carotid or anything like that.
Still, I've lost dexterity in my left hand... because I'm an overreacting pussy. I'm no more dextrous than a clumsy chimp... one that has been mauled by a lion. But that's only in terms of my left hand.
Still, I refuse to get my left hand into any action... or anywhere near water. My right hand is being overworked.
Of course I'd maim myself the night prior to heading out on my two week vacation.
My clumsy/pansy-ness also made me ruin my batch of banana-nut protein bread I had prepared for the trip. I'm now carrying "bread" similar to fucking dog biscuits instead of moist, delicious banana-nut bread.
Why did this happen? Because I was still so bewildered over my new impediment to notice I pressed the "convection roast" instead of "convection bake" setting.
THEN! Once I corrected the error (when I peeked at it after ten minutes and saw the bread was fucking toasted on one side), I left it in the oven to "cool." I do this for about five minutes then I remove it from the heat and place it on the granite countertop.
WELL. I remembered I had to give Tyson his epsom salt bath, and I went outside.
I returned twenty minutes later.
I found a brick in the oven.
It's too late to do another protein cake thing-a-majig... so... I must deal with my massive stupidity and pack those stupid protein dog biscuits in my luggage.
Seriously, I don't even know how the hell I've managed to survive 26 years.
...
If you guessed "stabbed yourself with a knife and punctured a blood vessel" you would be correct.
Luckily, it was only my left thumb... not my carotid or anything like that.
Still, I've lost dexterity in my left hand... because I'm an overreacting pussy. I'm no more dextrous than a clumsy chimp... one that has been mauled by a lion. But that's only in terms of my left hand.
Still, I refuse to get my left hand into any action... or anywhere near water. My right hand is being overworked.
Of course I'd maim myself the night prior to heading out on my two week vacation.
My clumsy/pansy-ness also made me ruin my batch of banana-nut protein bread I had prepared for the trip. I'm now carrying "bread" similar to fucking dog biscuits instead of moist, delicious banana-nut bread.
Why did this happen? Because I was still so bewildered over my new impediment to notice I pressed the "convection roast" instead of "convection bake" setting.
THEN! Once I corrected the error (when I peeked at it after ten minutes and saw the bread was fucking toasted on one side), I left it in the oven to "cool." I do this for about five minutes then I remove it from the heat and place it on the granite countertop.
WELL. I remembered I had to give Tyson his epsom salt bath, and I went outside.
I returned twenty minutes later.
I found a brick in the oven.
It's too late to do another protein cake thing-a-majig... so... I must deal with my massive stupidity and pack those stupid protein dog biscuits in my luggage.
Seriously, I don't even know how the hell I've managed to survive 26 years.
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