In case I ever doubted it, last night, it was proven to me that I am--and I'll probably always be-- one of the boys.
...
The entire night I was treated as... a dude. I might as well have walked into the bar grabbing my crotch.
The boys greeted me, no lie, by grabbing me in a headlock and ruffling my hair.
ALL FIVE OF THEM (well, those were the five who know me in the group of attendees who feel comfortable enough to hug me. My sister has an A-line haircut, yet NO ONE touched her head).
They would then proceed to DEMAND I flex... they'd lift my shirt's sleeves until I finally caved and just gave them a quick, half-assed tricep flex (seriously, what girl says/does that shit sober? Fuck).
Apparently this twit pic of me made its rounds amongst the group:
Luckily, no one challenged me to an arm wrestling match... that would have been met with me marching my ass out of that place. I'm NOT a dude, damn it!
For the most part, I had a... blah time.
I played a couple of video games... which killed much more time than I expected. I guess I should explain the bar is this one, where patrons can drink while playing video games (which often results in broken glass everywhere from clumsy, angry drunks... more so than regular bars).
I make a pretty mean team when I'm with a dude... so my duo was practically undefeated. Killed plenty of time.
Once I found myself at the bar, I had to choose between playing Street Fighter, or watching a kung fu movie that was being played on over half the screens.
I could have also chosen to socialize with the rest of the patrons.
Knowing me, I opted for "The 36th Chamber of Shaolin," because I was sick of video games... and I hate people... and that movie was making me laugh (I'm not sure it was supposed to elicit that reaction, but eh. Wait, wait, wait... you're telling me there's like... rocks in those bags and he has to hit them with his head? AHAHAHAHA!).
I was also frustrated and on the verge of starting a fight due to all the fucking smoking going on.
I had forgotten how much I detest that disgusting, incredibly RETARDED vice.
I also found a couple of the attendees rather cute. One in particular.
Guess what happened.
Yup, he ended up liking my sister.
Woooooooo-hoooooooooooo!
I think I'll have a new tag line: Hey, I think you're really cute! Here, meet my sister! You're going to be swept off your feet!
Fuck my life, dude.
There was another dude, he too was cute, but he ruined my night.
He wasn't SO cute, yet he's one of those dudes who SWEARS every girl in the room wants a piece of him.
By the time he showed up, I was waiting around my sister and her BFFfromtheBay, since D's the one who gave both of us a ride.
The rest of the party had left because the birthday boy got like this, before midnight even struck:
The Bay Girl was waiting around for this cute-guy-with-an-attitude, so when he showed up, I was forced to wait even longer to go home because it'd be rude to leave so soon after he joined us (if it were up to me, I would have left BEFORE he showed up, the prick).
Anyway, he was a fucking asshole to me from the moment I was introduced to him.
He almost made me cry... but I thought Why the fuck am I going to let this fucking retarded ass wanna-be UFC-fighter get to me with his fucking attitude? RELAX, FABIO! Ain't nobody wanna fuck wit' your short ass and your goddamn severe acne scars on your cheeks. BIIIIIITCH!
So I stood there, arms crossed, NOT laughing at a single joke he cracked.
Cocky motherfucker... and really, really rude. That's as pleasant as my description of him will ever get.
SO! I had to spend about an hour and a half, biting my tongue and holding back my tears of... anger/sentimentalism, as my sister and the bay girl giggled to this guy's rude sense of humor.
The worst part was that I've known this jerk since middle school. I hadn't seen him since then, but still, people don't change THAT much physically.
I could have dug into his insecurities, gotten plenty of laughs out of it, but no... I stood there, bored as fuck while giving everyone my "Don't you fucking touch me, or TALK to me" stare (three dudes still groped my ass though... I fear my stare is losing its strength). Because I'm nice and I try not to ruin other people's fun.
I will NEVER understand the appeal of bars.
...
The entire night I was treated as... a dude. I might as well have walked into the bar grabbing my crotch.
The boys greeted me, no lie, by grabbing me in a headlock and ruffling my hair.
ALL FIVE OF THEM (well, those were the five who know me in the group of attendees who feel comfortable enough to hug me. My sister has an A-line haircut, yet NO ONE touched her head).
They would then proceed to DEMAND I flex... they'd lift my shirt's sleeves until I finally caved and just gave them a quick, half-assed tricep flex (seriously, what girl says/does that shit sober? Fuck).
Apparently this twit pic of me made its rounds amongst the group:
 |
| CURSE YOU, TWITTER! |
For the most part, I had a... blah time.
I played a couple of video games... which killed much more time than I expected. I guess I should explain the bar is this one, where patrons can drink while playing video games (which often results in broken glass everywhere from clumsy, angry drunks... more so than regular bars).
I make a pretty mean team when I'm with a dude... so my duo was practically undefeated. Killed plenty of time.
Once I found myself at the bar, I had to choose between playing Street Fighter, or watching a kung fu movie that was being played on over half the screens.
I could have also chosen to socialize with the rest of the patrons.
Knowing me, I opted for "The 36th Chamber of Shaolin," because I was sick of video games... and I hate people... and that movie was making me laugh (I'm not sure it was supposed to elicit that reaction, but eh. Wait, wait, wait... you're telling me there's like... rocks in those bags and he has to hit them with his head? AHAHAHAHA!).
I was also frustrated and on the verge of starting a fight due to all the fucking smoking going on.
I had forgotten how much I detest that disgusting, incredibly RETARDED vice.
I also found a couple of the attendees rather cute. One in particular.
Guess what happened.
Yup, he ended up liking my sister.
Woooooooo-hoooooooooooo!
I think I'll have a new tag line: Hey, I think you're really cute! Here, meet my sister! You're going to be swept off your feet!
Fuck my life, dude.
There was another dude, he too was cute, but he ruined my night.
He wasn't SO cute, yet he's one of those dudes who SWEARS every girl in the room wants a piece of him.
By the time he showed up, I was waiting around my sister and her BFFfromtheBay, since D's the one who gave both of us a ride.
The rest of the party had left because the birthday boy got like this, before midnight even struck:
 |
| BirthdayBoy in the middle, making us proud. He was totally unconscious. |
Anyway, he was a fucking asshole to me from the moment I was introduced to him.
He almost made me cry... but I thought Why the fuck am I going to let this fucking retarded ass wanna-be UFC-fighter get to me with his fucking attitude? RELAX, FABIO! Ain't nobody wanna fuck wit' your short ass and your goddamn severe acne scars on your cheeks. BIIIIIITCH!
So I stood there, arms crossed, NOT laughing at a single joke he cracked.
Cocky motherfucker... and really, really rude. That's as pleasant as my description of him will ever get.
SO! I had to spend about an hour and a half, biting my tongue and holding back my tears of... anger/sentimentalism, as my sister and the bay girl giggled to this guy's rude sense of humor.
The worst part was that I've known this jerk since middle school. I hadn't seen him since then, but still, people don't change THAT much physically.
I could have dug into his insecurities, gotten plenty of laughs out of it, but no... I stood there, bored as fuck while giving everyone my "Don't you fucking touch me, or TALK to me" stare (three dudes still groped my ass though... I fear my stare is losing its strength). Because I'm nice and I try not to ruin other people's fun.
I will NEVER understand the appeal of bars.
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