Libros

I'm catching cabin fever, guys.
I'm fucking irritated with this goddamn hurricane.
Rafa had to start streaming some fucking Netflix on his PS3 to keep me from cracking up.
Well... it's not that bad, but even HE got irritated with all the damn hurricane watch bullshit.

I'm further distressed due to the fact that I've had to share the same space with my folks for over 24 hours.
I love my parents and everything... but a girl needs her space, damn it!
Mom keeps snooping around each time I try to get online. She runs in whatever room I try to find privacy and she'll look over my shoulder.
YOU DON'T KNOW THEM!
It isn't until now that I can sit in a room without interruption.
I'm a solitary creature... the moment I'm deprived from a minute of solitude in a period of 24 hours, I'll start snapping at you. Sometimes I just don't want to hear you... or even TALK, so get away from me... please. I've tried the marble statue technique, but Mom seems immune to it. I'll sit there, stoically, not saying a damn word... sometimes not even blinking... just staring into space... thinking about the taste of a juicy Braeburn apple... or enjoying the taste of some delicious dark cherries, chewing the pit clean of any sort of cherry flesh... and Mom will still be rambling on and on.
I try to fade out the sound... but she's the loudest little Mexican lady you'll ever meet. She acts as if she's perpetually in search of her missing toddler at the swap meet.
The only time she'll hush up is the moment she tries talking to me and I'm holding a book. She'll start talking, and I, without lifting my eyes off the pages, will lift my right index finger in the air and move it towards her.
I don't have to say a word. It's my silent "NOT. NOW."

I've finished TWO BOOKS. TWO. In two days.
That is unheard of, my friends. I know I joke a lot about not reading and all that shit, but I do read... but never a book a day. My attention span has never been that long.
Back in my creative writing days, the professor used to "require" we not watch television. That shit rots your brain, inhibits your creativity, according to him. For the most part, I'd follow through with the requirement, I mean, I'd spend the majority of my time at school... or near school, killing myself with those godforsaken labs.
The only show I would watch would be America's Next Top Model... because I can't help myself when it comes to watching catty models fight one another... models are batshit crazy... and highly entertaining.
ANYWAY, the whole no-TV arrangement did work... since I'd crank out 5k words worth of fiction every two weeks... because I'm verbose as fuck.
Now, after graduating and encountering this heavy quarter-life crisis of mine, I'm lucky if I remember the correct spelling of "ellipsis." Television will be my fucking backdrop music to anything and everything. I don't necessarily have to be watching, I just need the noise. Not very "green" of me, but ask me if I give a fuck (actually, I really do).
I'll only read... hmm... what will I read? I read... my name on an envelope from citicards... sometimes I'll skim through my Glamour magazine... a billboard or two on my way to the gym.
SO, this time spent waiting for this goddamn hurricane has made me tune out the television and go back to some hardcore reading.
AND, I've noticed a difference. I think now. Not suicidal shit or self-loathing shit... or even crazy shit. I think.

Will it continue once I go back home? I sure hope so... but I doubt it.
I'll just milk it for all it's worth these next few days... while I'm still confined in this house with my bickering parents and irritable brother.

If I die because of this freak storm...well... let it be known that while I was constantly frustrated with my family, I loved them with all of my heart. And I was proud of all of them. Yes, seriously, I really did love them all... except for that one stupid ogre who works for my dad... that fucking kid is beyond retarded and self-centered. Fuck that kid.
And someone please, please tell the truth when it comes to my eulogy. I was "a grouchy bitch... with some issues she often refused to resolve"... because living in denial is sometimes the only way I know how to handle shit. I was grumpy... and a BEAST whenever suddenly woken from my slumber. Sleeping beauty my fuckin' ass.
(I'm not gonna die... this storm is a fucking hype. Rafa's out partying right now, if that helps explain how serious this situation is. Tomorrow, I get to hang around his "hot" friend for the day, since he'll be stranded in DC for the day due to NYC not running any trains or planes. Needless to say... I'm sort of glad this cunt of a storm is hitting the coast. Yeeeeah boyyyy!--I'm such a fucking predator)