Monday, August 6, 2012

C-c-cool

I swear I try to be cool and calm... and lead a normal life... it's just that sometimes, certain phrases or actions bring back the shitstorm I've tried to forget for so many years.

"Like most women, you want too much" was something I did not want to hear (there were a couple of more famous words written, but that phrase was the one that made me flip). It's something I don't want to hear. It's something I find to be SO incredibly inaccurate.
I'm a girl who has had such shit luck... and such shitty experiences... for SO long, that I want one thing to go my way.

I want the guy I think is dope, to think the same of me.
Period.

I'm still friends with this drunk-texter... because while I have a motherfucking mental breakdown in the privacy of my home (and yeah, my fucking car sometimes), I get over it.
Obviously he's unaware of my issues, and he assumes I'm like every other chick out there-- many of my family members are guilty of this, so why not a "stranger"? Evidently I'm quite the fucking actress... or just THAT much of a fucking unicorn.

He was drunk (oh, the typos! Such elegance! Such eloquence!)... confessed his crush on me (using various... strange euphemisms that only a drunk would understand. Wait... what? Are you referencing tacos in your double-entendre because I'm Mexican? Calm down and go to sleep, broski)... then lashed out when I let him know what was up (Me: My heart is unavailable, and you will ALWAYS be my friend. 
Him: Well, honestly, I'm the best you can do... so you're just wasting your life.
Not gonna lie, that made me want to cry. There were various other exchanges similar to this, but that one made me scowl for a couple of minutes).
I understand. I've done the same thing... I mean... I put on quite the fucking show for MGH a few years back, remember?

I'll just keep from ever answering drunk texts from now on... bad things happen when I do.

No comments: