ROAR!

Ahh, yes! Because August couldn't be cool with me and wanted to punish me for whining, The Universe decided to give me a bump on my eyelid.

MY VIRGIN EYELID!

I've never had anything wrong with my eyelid... just... you know... when I cry and they swell and that shit... but any sort of bump? NEVER!

Yeah, I know I'm overreacting, but I'm just bummed out 'cause my eyes are the only kinda-ok thing about me. Now even that is fucked up. Nice going, Summer... you're the best!

And while I don't really give a shit about this, I've been agitated since around 7PM, when I started arguing with a cousin over the whole USA-Mexico FRIENDLY.

I'm fine with differing opinions... but when the opinion is STUPID and lacking logic... the sole "logic" being "I want to piss you off by saying some of the most misinformed, bandwagoning bullshit," I go fucking batshit. I know I reach this level once I drop the word "retard" so often, I run out of spit.

Oh, oh, oh! And a couple of hours before that, I got in a verbal altercation with this fucking idiotic cholo, driving one of those shoddy landscaping trucks. Imbecile nearly crashed into me because he didn't do a four-way stop correctly... and I caught him right before he hit me... so our cars did this elegant, slow-motion dance in the middle of the intersection, where we pounded on our chests, lowered our windows and screamed:

IT WAS MY FUCKING TURN!!! MY TURN!!!!!!

I feel I won it, because while he spiced up his sentence with "FUCKING DUMB BITCH! IT WAS MY TURN! DUMB BITCH" I was pissed off enough, and cogent enough, to scream "GO BACK TO FUCKING PRISON, BIIIIIIITCH!"

Really, Holmes? You're gonna do me like that? you are gonna call me "DUMB BITCH"????

HAHAHAHAHA! What you got against girls, dawg? Too much BITCH duty in prison? It's OK, Montoya Santana, you'll get over it.

I think that's what kept me from getting all lame and sentimental, and instead violent and all... Herculean.

It also didn't help that I was returning home from my longest day at the gym. I am a massively aggressive monster Wednesday afternoons... when I speed home for my delicious, nourishing post-workout meal... which is my absolute favorite meal of the week. So pardon me as I chop your fucking head off for getting in the way of my nutrient-depleted body and the fan-fucking-tastic carbs awaiting me at home.

As we parted ways from our car-tango, he calmed the fuck down... not I. When this girl wants to be menacing, she WILL be menacing... you can blame pent up aggression for that... and these too

See that elbow?
I would fucking LOVE to smash it across your goatee-rockin' face, lil' homie!
This chick is NOT too happy with dudes right now, G.

I screamed a nice "Fuck you!" and bucked. Yeah, I bucked.

I got home and cracked the fuck up.

Vato couldda shot and killed me... AHAHAHAHA! Oh, a girl can dream.

I tell ya, reckless. I just no longer give a fuck.

And to end on a less sour, violent note, Mooney was kind enough to screencap the conversation RidiculouslyGoodLookingBoy had in regards to some bitch questioning his sexuality:

If only I were that articulate... and participated in more civilized activities, like rational conversations...

Me no think. Me SMASH!

God, I'm such a brute.