Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Porque quiero

I can cheat-update, right? Right.

August...
You can't see me right now, but I'm getting all choked up.
You know where I usually spend the first day of August? Mexico.
But I won't hurt myself by thinking about where I could be right now.
Let's talk about parties!

Well... more like... let's talk about crushes.
For once, let's not talk about MY crushes... well, at least not make them the focal point.
I'm talking about guys who have crushes on ME.
Can you believe that shit? Guys like me now? Damn.

The vast majority are members of Kelley's band.
She has brought it to my attention that they think I'm cool.
One of them has been super duper vocal about his crush, and outright told me... that guy who sort of scared me away with his fandom, remember? The other two guys are very low key about their thoughts on me, which I appreciate, since I'm such an awkward girl.
Kelley: They asked me what your type was...
Me: Oh yeah?
Kelley: I said "TALL... and in Germany."
Me: AHAHAHAHAHA!

Two of the guys were jointly celebrating their birthdays today.
While I don't like them like that... I do appreciate them as friends... so, I decided to drop by and say hello.
Originally I wasn't going to go... because I'm awkward as is, but the moment I know someone likes me, I turn into MORE of a weirdo... extra cold, actually.
Please don't like me... I'm unable to reciprocate. Let me save you the trouble.
Then I started to think about MY crush... and how it makes my fucking... year to see his freakin' face, I don't even have to make eye-contact to be content.
As corny/trite/unbelievable as this might sound, I try very, VERY hard to treat others as I want to be treated. So... I sucked up my shy shit, and went ahead and attended the soiree for a bit with mademoiselle Kelley.
Stare at me, high-five me, talk to me as much as you like. Sure, I'm not too down with hugs, but that's because I'm not too fanatical about any type of bodily contact. When I hug you, it means I'm really, REALLY comfortable with you. Sorry... kinda happens when people physically/emotionally/psychologically mistreat a timid, gentle girl throughout her childhood... nothing against you, per se, just against society in general.

Maybe if I start being nicer, bad shit will stop happening to me.

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