Monday, August 13, 2012

L word... like Loser?

One of the words, among the many, that was thrown at me Saturday night by the schizophrenic alcoholic was "lesbian."

1. I'm not homophobic. If anything, I give my full love and support to the LGBT community. Always have, always will.
2. I'm straight. I don't care to prove this to ANYONE, as long as I know it, I don't give a shit. It's like someone calling me Puerto Rican. Am I? No. Do I care to prove them wrong? Nope. Whatever. Go ahead, say whatever the fuck you'd like... fuck, call me North Korean for all I care. I can't control what others see me as... I might as well not waste energy trying to prove them wrong.
3. There are worse names to be called. Off the top of my head, words I've been called which have been more hurtful: pig, cow, monster, beast (not the cool type of beast--like when you accomplish a huge feat), gross (this one still stings my heart, just by reading), pendeja, estupida, ugly.

The only time that word is hurtful to me is when my dad throws it at me... because I know how homophobic he is, so the fact that he's willing to accuse me of being a lesbian cuts me deep... because he hates gays... so... he's kinda indirectly telling me he's ready to hate me (because in his head I AM gay).
Other than Pops calling me gay, I don't really give a flying fuck who throws this accusation at me.

I find it somewhat amusing when people resort to questioning the sexuality of those who turn them down.
The person who immediately pops into my head is one of Mooney's friends. He is this ridiculously good-looking, blond, blue-eyed, All-American young man. Some chick openly questioned his sexuality on one of his status updates... I think because he turned her down or something like that... and his retort was one of the most amazing group of sentences I've had the pleasure of reading.

Just because I don't want you does not mean I don't want men... it means I don't want you. Period. YOU, you idiotic... "God's gift to women."
You don't want me, therefore you must be gay!
How fucking arrogant and presumptuous. Dick.
Neta.
Then he gets my cousin to text me to "apologize" on his behalf-- blaming it on the alcohol.
Oh yeah, that's cool. Just one quick question... this apology... will it like... remove the memory of some dude screaming at a quiet chick in public from everyone's mind? No? Yeah, that's what I thought. Fuck off.

This is why I hate socializing... and just... people, in general, really.
Does this kind of shit happen to everyone, or just me?

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