Weird day.
First, I woke up from a horrible nightmare which consisted of the end of the world coming in the form of a flood mixed with atomic bombs being dropped. There was a lot of running and screaming. I thought I was going to wake up with a sore throat from screaming "Tyson!" so desperately (seriously, brain? The world is ending violently and the only thing I can think of is my poor dog? Wow).
There was a hero in my dream: Joe Gordon-Levitt.
Bizarre, considering how small the guy is... but hey, it wasn't so bad to have that guy telling me to shut the fuck up and keep moving.
I woke up after my cousin (in the dream) screamed "THEY'RE GONNA DROP THE BOMBS!"
I woke up damn near crying... but with a newfound love for JGL.
That was my morning.
My afternoon consisted of fighting with the wind that was rocking the fuck out of my car. Then the stupid drivers from out of town. Then the stupid rain... that was dirty because of the crazy wind... so it was like mud being slung at my car.
Anyway, then a friend of mine proposed to me.
Well, let me explain.
We're BFFs. He's the one with whom I went to BWWs not too long ago and he left me for the mean BBW at the bar.
We've gone through that weird roller-coaster thing certain friends go through. First, he liked me all through middle school... but I didn't get into asian boys until high school... but by then, we didn't go to school together. We reconnected in college, where I got a crush on him, but he didn't like me like that. That's where we turned into "siblings."
Now, after college, he seems to have lost his damn mind and he likes me again. I don't.
Anyway, he's recently reconnected with Catholicism, and apparently this has also made him reevaluate me as a female.
Him: There aren't very many girl like you out there anymore... I had underestimated the difficulty of finding a good, practicing Catholic girl.
Me: Well, it's not like guys give a fuck about it now.
Him: I do.
::screeching tires::
Wait... hold up... this is weird. What?
He then went off and complimented me some more (I didn't have the heart to tell him that I'm not really into Catholic men because I find them... kindaaaa scary).
He asked me if I was seeing anyone.
Nah. I'm not. I'm recovering from a severely butchered heart.
He then joked about how funny it'd be if we did the "if not married by 30" friend pact... where we'd marry each other.
I'd be a terrible wife. And that would be incest, bro.
Well, I tried.
He then asked me to be his sponsor for his upcoming confirmation.
You do understand once I agree, we can no longer marry, right? You can't marry your Godmother ;)
I thought about it. That's why I asked you to marry me first ;)
Yeah. Ok. Twiiiilight zone.
Looks like I got myself a new godson... a 25 year old godson.
I ended my day by getting a phone call from Pacemaker.
First, I woke up from a horrible nightmare which consisted of the end of the world coming in the form of a flood mixed with atomic bombs being dropped. There was a lot of running and screaming. I thought I was going to wake up with a sore throat from screaming "Tyson!" so desperately (seriously, brain? The world is ending violently and the only thing I can think of is my poor dog? Wow).
There was a hero in my dream: Joe Gordon-Levitt.
Bizarre, considering how small the guy is... but hey, it wasn't so bad to have that guy telling me to shut the fuck up and keep moving.
I woke up after my cousin (in the dream) screamed "THEY'RE GONNA DROP THE BOMBS!"
I woke up damn near crying... but with a newfound love for JGL.
That was my morning.
My afternoon consisted of fighting with the wind that was rocking the fuck out of my car. Then the stupid drivers from out of town. Then the stupid rain... that was dirty because of the crazy wind... so it was like mud being slung at my car.
Anyway, then a friend of mine proposed to me.
Well, let me explain.
We're BFFs. He's the one with whom I went to BWWs not too long ago and he left me for the mean BBW at the bar.
We've gone through that weird roller-coaster thing certain friends go through. First, he liked me all through middle school... but I didn't get into asian boys until high school... but by then, we didn't go to school together. We reconnected in college, where I got a crush on him, but he didn't like me like that. That's where we turned into "siblings."
Now, after college, he seems to have lost his damn mind and he likes me again. I don't.
Anyway, he's recently reconnected with Catholicism, and apparently this has also made him reevaluate me as a female.
Him: There aren't very many girl like you out there anymore... I had underestimated the difficulty of finding a good, practicing Catholic girl.
Me: Well, it's not like guys give a fuck about it now.
Him: I do.
::screeching tires::
Wait... hold up... this is weird. What?
He then went off and complimented me some more (I didn't have the heart to tell him that I'm not really into Catholic men because I find them... kindaaaa scary).
He asked me if I was seeing anyone.
Nah. I'm not. I'm recovering from a severely butchered heart.
He then joked about how funny it'd be if we did the "if not married by 30" friend pact... where we'd marry each other.
I'd be a terrible wife. And that would be incest, bro.
Well, I tried.
He then asked me to be his sponsor for his upcoming confirmation.
You do understand once I agree, we can no longer marry, right? You can't marry your Godmother ;)
I thought about it. That's why I asked you to marry me first ;)
Yeah. Ok. Twiiiilight zone.
Looks like I got myself a new godson... a 25 year old godson.
I ended my day by getting a phone call from Pacemaker.
Pacemaker: So, how was your Valentine's Day, lady?
Me: Eh.
Pacemaker: Ooooh. Do I sense bitterness?
Me: Nah.
Pacemaker: Resentment?
Me: Nah. More like... indifference. But I WILL feel resentment if you keep calling me "lady!"
The fact that that girl has my love life as a top priority is quite disconcerting. I'm sure the concept she has of it is quite... negative. I should live up to it.
I contemplated whether or not to let her in on my marriage proposal... but I'm sure she would have slapped me through the phone.
Then I contemplated telling her about my relationship with MGH, aka her little cousin, and how my past bitterness and resentment was largely due to his treatment of me... but I passed on that one too... that would have been too huge a bomb. I'd probably still be on the phone right now and it would probably be all over the internet by tomorrow morning:
AnoMALIE: Pedophile! (which would be incorrect, because he was totally legal by the time we started messing around. But this girl is that scandalous)
Ahh, and while we're on that subject (of me liking minors... no, of liking my juniors, more like it), over the last few weeks, I have developed the most intense crush on Alex Pettyfer. That twenty-year-old is absolutely GORGEOUS. Curse you, television!
Then I contemplated telling her about my relationship with MGH, aka her little cousin, and how my past bitterness and resentment was largely due to his treatment of me... but I passed on that one too... that would have been too huge a bomb. I'd probably still be on the phone right now and it would probably be all over the internet by tomorrow morning:
AnoMALIE: Pedophile! (which would be incorrect, because he was totally legal by the time we started messing around. But this girl is that scandalous)
Ahh, and while we're on that subject (of me liking minors... no, of liking my juniors, more like it), over the last few weeks, I have developed the most intense crush on Alex Pettyfer. That twenty-year-old is absolutely GORGEOUS. Curse you, television!
P.S. I remembered why I stole The Fall... I DID like it that much in middle school... does that make me weird? I still like it now... does that make me weirder (I actually re-read that book over the course of yesterday and today. It had been a minute since I last partook in that activity... willingly)?
2 comments:
I like the chain of abbreviations :)
LOL, IKR!
hahaha I'm glad someone caught it! :D
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