I woke up to the magnificent news that my final letter of recommendation was submitted.
I got on-line and submitted my last application... only to notice on the receipt that I fucked up my phone number. I added a zero (###-###-##0##). Typical AnoMALIE fuck up.
That only killed my mood for a second... how important is a phone number... right?
At least that shit's out of my hands, and the application process if officially over now!
I began the celebration by eating breakfast-- Honey Bunches of Oats.
I was running a little late, so I dashed off to the gym... only to vomit the Honey Bunches of Oats once there.
I'm surprised they haven't raised my fees there... or given me some puke-related nickname.
I wasn't going to let that shit bring me down... so I came home and ate another bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats. What can I say? I'm stubborn... if I want cereal, I eat motherfucking cereal.
As I happily munched away at my cereal, Twiggy dropped by the house.
Mood killed.
Looks like I'm going to have an adopted sister for ten days.
She was upset because Sister told her I knew about her (Twiggy's) plans for the night (driving an hour away to fuck her boyfriend).
Twiggy: Oh my God... your sister knows I'm not a virgin?!
Sister: She knew immediately. She was the one to tell me you weren't heading out to Mesquite every other day, for the entire day, just to look at Miguel...
Twiggy: Oh my God... she's gonna judge me...
I screamed from the kitchen.
Me: ... why? I'm 25. My friends have been fucking for years. Calm down.
Twiggy: Oh my God... I'm so embarrassed.
Me: Why? I'm not the pope. Chill out.
Looks like my innocent face intimidates chicks.
Just because I don't fuck around doesn't mean I judge those who do. What you choose to do with your body is none of my business (unless you're into self-mutilation... I might get a little concerned there).
I'm not too much a fan of self-rightousness, but seeing how so many people assume I am... maybe I am and I just don't know it?
Nah. That's not possible... because I never impose my personal beliefs on others (I never speak long enough to do that, anyway).
As far as sexuality goes, I don't give a fuck (unintentional pun). Be a prude, or be a slut, I'll be your friend as long as you make me laugh. Plain and simple. I might say something if you fuck around with married people, though... then again, I wouldn't have friends who were into that in the first place.
I don't hold my Vcard for religious reasons (sorry, God. Please don't strike me dead...), but I do it for personal reasons. Stay a virgin until marriage for a guy? PSSHHHHHAAAA! Get the fuck out of here!
Of course, I don't say that out-loud... I just shrug and smile.
Maybe I should try being less vague, but who wants to listen to me explain myself for five hours (It all started the summer of '92... I was seven...)?
I'm naturally sweet and innocent (I'm going to harp on that for as long as possible, because everyone knows I'm cynical as fuck-- Jesus Christ, I can't stop saying that word! I'm sorry!), but I can always talk/joke about the raunchiest subject (and if I can't, I don't mind being educated... VERBALLY on it).
It wasn't like you were holding out for me to be your first fuck. Relax!
Now deal with it, homegirl.
Can we all please just go about our daily lives and joke around the subject again? No need to be so fucking awkward, weirdo.
I got on-line and submitted my last application... only to notice on the receipt that I fucked up my phone number. I added a zero (###-###-##0##). Typical AnoMALIE fuck up.
That only killed my mood for a second... how important is a phone number... right?
At least that shit's out of my hands, and the application process if officially over now!
I began the celebration by eating breakfast-- Honey Bunches of Oats.
I was running a little late, so I dashed off to the gym... only to vomit the Honey Bunches of Oats once there.
I'm surprised they haven't raised my fees there... or given me some puke-related nickname.
I wasn't going to let that shit bring me down... so I came home and ate another bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats. What can I say? I'm stubborn... if I want cereal, I eat motherfucking cereal.
As I happily munched away at my cereal, Twiggy dropped by the house.
Mood killed.
Looks like I'm going to have an adopted sister for ten days.
She was upset because Sister told her I knew about her (Twiggy's) plans for the night (driving an hour away to fuck her boyfriend).
Twiggy: Oh my God... your sister knows I'm not a virgin?!
Sister: She knew immediately. She was the one to tell me you weren't heading out to Mesquite every other day, for the entire day, just to look at Miguel...
Twiggy: Oh my God... she's gonna judge me...
I screamed from the kitchen.
Me: ... why? I'm 25. My friends have been fucking for years. Calm down.
Twiggy: Oh my God... I'm so embarrassed.
Me: Why? I'm not the pope. Chill out.
Looks like my innocent face intimidates chicks.
Just because I don't fuck around doesn't mean I judge those who do. What you choose to do with your body is none of my business (unless you're into self-mutilation... I might get a little concerned there).
I'm not too much a fan of self-rightousness, but seeing how so many people assume I am... maybe I am and I just don't know it?
Nah. That's not possible... because I never impose my personal beliefs on others (I never speak long enough to do that, anyway).
As far as sexuality goes, I don't give a fuck (unintentional pun). Be a prude, or be a slut, I'll be your friend as long as you make me laugh. Plain and simple. I might say something if you fuck around with married people, though... then again, I wouldn't have friends who were into that in the first place.
I don't hold my Vcard for religious reasons (sorry, God. Please don't strike me dead...), but I do it for personal reasons. Stay a virgin until marriage for a guy? PSSHHHHHAAAA! Get the fuck out of here!
Of course, I don't say that out-loud... I just shrug and smile.
 |
| Why don't I fuck? Eh... |
I'm naturally sweet and innocent (I'm going to harp on that for as long as possible, because everyone knows I'm cynical as fuck-- Jesus Christ, I can't stop saying that word! I'm sorry!), but I can always talk/joke about the raunchiest subject (and if I can't, I don't mind being educated... VERBALLY on it).
It wasn't like you were holding out for me to be your first fuck. Relax!
Now deal with it, homegirl.
Can we all please just go about our daily lives and joke around the subject again? No need to be so fucking awkward, weirdo.
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