Buttercup

I've been trying to cheer up all day.

I had cereal with fresh raspberries... and it helped... for about an hour.
I went running (as fast as I fucking could, for as long as I could) and it did help... for about two hours.
I tried on Sister's pants, and was stoked to see they fit properly. It cheered me up... for half an hour.
Cleaned the fridge because Mom left raw chicken on the TOP SHELF and as expected, the juices spilled all the way to the bottom shelf. This pissed me off for three hours.
I allowed my mean/cunt side to make an appearance as I looked through photos... and it did make me laugh hysterically for a few minutes... then I felt guilty for... well, I still feel guilty.
But not too guilty to not show you some of my favorites.
Tell me you don't laugh with one of these three:

Pacemaker.
I TOLD her not to get on that horse.
Did she listen? Of course not. Who the hell listens to AnoMALIE?
I get stomach cramps from laughing so hard at that horse's expression.
I have SEVEN more of these... this was the one I thought was the LEAST fucked up.

Musketeer's wife.
I see this and I think of that Simpson's episode where Nelson laughs at that really tall guy driving the VW Beetle.
That's how I feel about "large" people driving little cars.
If she were to attempt doing to me what the tall man did to Nelson... you'd see me on PPV... in an octagon. Cauliflower-ear would be the least of her worries.
Bitch. I'M not the one with TERRIBLE taste in cars.
Ok, I'm ranting now. See how quickly my giggles leave me?

MGH's girl.
We're cool and everything, but I'm not going to ignore the obvious.
You have to be BLIND not to notice how the keys in her pocket make it look like she... well, like she has a dick.
Total sweetheart, but the extra junk in the crotch... and her legs, ain't helping the situation.
(is it obvious why I lost THAT battle? My legs didn't look like that in KINDERGARTEN--my hammies and quads have always been a force--much less now)

All mean shit aside, I'm trying so hard not to think anything... not to feel anything... but it's impossible.
I wish it could be positive, but so far, the negative drowns it all out.

Nada, ABSOLUTAMENTE NADA, tiene sentido.