Saturday, July 2, 2011

Because he's a human being

Raise your hand if you've ever prayed for the health of a communist dictator...
MEEEE!

Well... that's not his actual title.
I'm talking about Hugo Chavez... and it's not like I wanted to.

I was sitting in church, by myself, getting my weekly visit over with... and for the most part, it was smooth sailing (mainly because this one dude--who also always goes to church unaccompanied-- I have a TINY crush on sat next to me... so I was pretty much forced into staying awake. He's "baby-face cute"... and REALLY religious... which is kinda scary, but hey, I only like to stare at him, ok? It's not like I plan on marrying him or anything... I just enjoy having him to look at once in a while... when he's not in deep prayer or whatever... because when he IS, it freaks me out a little).
There's a part right in the middle of church, where the priest mentions who the mass is intended for. More often than not, it's in remembrance of a deceased person... sometimes it'll be in honor of someone's birthday... and then there are the intentions for the ill.
This time, as I sat there trying to keep my eyes open... and keeping myself from yawning--BabyFace would be SO disappointed if I did either!-- I heard the priest start his speech.
"And let me just... take the time to... pray for..."
Ah, fuck... he's Venezuelan, isn't he? AH SHIT! Please don't tell me....
"Since on the 5th, my country, Venezuela..."
FUCK! He's doing it...
"celebrates it's 200th year of independence... supposedly... a so-called 'independence'..."
Really, God, I'm going to have to do this?
"Let me take the liberty to ask for... peace in my home country. For freedom..."
Phew... I thought I was going to have to...
"And... although many don't agree with what he's doing... and because he's a human being..."
YOU WERE SO CLOSE! WHY DID YOU KEEP GOING?!
"And because he's the president of the country, let's pray for... the president of Venezuela. He has cancer... and... he's a human being... let us... pray."

My jaw was open from the moment he mentioned the "although many don't agree with what he's doing..." and it stayed that way for a few minutes.
I kept looking up at the altar, where there's an enormous mosaic of Jesus, agonizing on the cross...
Oh man, Jesus... why? WHY must I get tested like this?
And as I repeated "Te rogamos señor" (I think in English they say something along the lines of "Lord, hear our prayer" or something like that) all I could think was "I'm really doing this... I'm REALLY doing this... Oh my god... Rafa would be having a fucking heart attack right now."

At least it wasn't Kim Jong-Il... or... Hitler... right? Right.

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