Love-letters turn me into a girl.

JORDAN!

We all know I love that man. He made my childhood quite fucking memorable with his incredible basketball skills.

Now I love him even more.

I read that one high school love-letter of his that is currently making rounds on the internet, and I was smitten:

My Dearest Laquette

How are you and your family doing, fine I hope. I am in my Adv. Chemistry class writing you a letter, so that tell you how much I care for you. I decide to write you because I felt that I made you look pretty rotten after the last night. I want to tell you that I am sorry, and hope that you except my apologie. I know that you feelings was hurt whenever I loss my necklace or had it stolen.

I was really happy when you gave me my honest earn money that I won off the bet. I want to thank you for letting me hold your annual. I show it to everyone at school. Everyone think you are a very pretty young lady and I had to agree because it is very true. Please don't let this go to your head. (smile) I sorry to say that I can't go to the game on my birthday because my father is taking the whole basketball team out to eat on my birthday. Please don't be mad because I am trying get down there a week from Feb. 14. If I do get the chance to come please have some activity for us to do together.

I want you to know that my feeling for you has not change yet. ← (joke) I am finally getting use to going with a girl much smaller than I. I hope you my hint. Well I have spent my time very wisely by write to you. I hope you write back soon. Well I must go, the period is almost over. See you next time around, which I hope comes soon.

With my Best Love

Michael J. Jordan

That intro about the advanced chemistry would have won me over, grammatical errors be damned!
I spent the majority of my AP chemistry time doodling in my lab book or the whiteboard... because I'm dedicated like that... and whenever I bump into someone who did something similar I get a little excited.
And he's sarcastic! Warms my fucking heart!
I love you, Michael!

Ok, I calmed down.

I guess the recipient of the letter is now suing because the letter was leaked, and we all can read it now.
She says someone stole the letter.
I know what that's like... although MY stolen love-letter didn't sell for 5.1K. Still, I'm sure having someone steal something private like that must sucks balls regardless of how important the writer/recipient was/is.

I only saved ONE love-letter, in fifth grade... and I remember being heart-broken when I saw some bitch had stolen it from the little hiding place in which I (very moronically) thought it was safe.
Also, unlike with this lady, the sender of my love-letter didn't turn out to be a very successful athlete. Shit, my dude wasn't even a successful person... I think he's still in jail, actually. Still, even thinking of him being sweet and innocent enough to write me something cute and from the heart makes me smile... regardless of how many people he grew up to murder.
(this is only considering the letters I've received. I wrote PLENTY of stupid, incriminating letters while still in school... shit, the last one I wrote was two years ago! I know for certain that at least TWO have been read out loud... and STILL... I went ahead and wrote one two years ago... I'm duuuuuumb)

Ah, young love... so cute.

OK, enough of that.
Back to being bitter and cynical.