4th grade.
Scene A:
After getting cornered in the girl's bathroom, my "friends" Michelle and Jenelle (I swear to God, those were real names. I don't joke when I tell you my life could be turned into a sitcom) start beating the shit out of me... for the second time that school day, the third day in a row.
It's the middle of the school year, and it's been the same story for the last two months.
Jenelle stops with the punches, stands still, ponders something, then finally speaks up.
Jenelle: AnoMALIE... WHY don't you ever HIT BACK, you dumb ass?
I look up, stare her in her eyes, and very sincerely, but quietly say
"Because I don't hit my friends." (even writing that line now, 17 years later, my eyes get watery)
Jenelle: You don't hit your friends.... HAHAHA! You hear that, Michelle? She doesn't hit HER FRIENDS! HAHAHAHAHA! Well, we're NOT ::punches my stomach:: YOUR FRIENDS!
And the two continued kicking my ass until recess was over.
Scene B:
I'm in line in the cafeteria, waiting to have lunch. I notice one of D's friends tugging on my shirt.
DsFriend: D wants to talk to you... she's crying in the bathroom.
DsOtherFriend: Angelica made her cry.
I forgot about being hungry, I forgot about possibly getting in trouble for leaving the cafeteria before being dismissed by the teacher, and I just ran to the bathroom with the two friends to find my sister.
As Sister sobbed and told me her story behind her tears (Angelica teased her about how she cried when it rained and she then made fun of my mom), I felt my blood boil.
After calming my sister down and walking her to her class so she could sit outside and wait for her teacher, I went ahead and looked for Angelica.
It didn't take too long to find her, she was the only blond amongst the little hispanic girls.
I walked up to Angelica, grabbed her by the collar of her shirt, and very quietly, but sternly warned her
Me: You make my sister cry ONE. MORE. TIME, I'll fucking kick your ass. You hear me? ONE. MORE. TIME.
I went on with my day, got my ass kicked by my "friends" one more time, but I was called over to my sister's class a couple of minutes before the school day was over.
Angelica had been crying all day, her teacher--who was also D's-- wanted to talk to me because she said Angelica had told her I had threatened to kick her ass.
Teacher: Did you really do that, AnoMALIE?
I looked over at Angelica.
Me: The girl crying over there? I don't even know her.
The bell rang, and the teacher let me go.
I rode the bus with Angelica. I walked behind her all the way to her apartment complex, and as she was turning around to close the door to the gate of her complex, we made eye-contact.
Never. Again. Leave my sister alone.
Angelica wasn't the first or only peer of D's I threatened/fought. I fought boys who physically hurt her (I walked by one boy and made that throat-slitting gesture with my thumb the moment I heard he had made her bleed. I then found him a little later and body slammed him before lunch was over), and I even dropped whatever I was doing the moment I would see her in trouble (I was once eating an ice cream cone as I walked out of my house to see my neighbor/cousin dragging my sister by her hair. I dropped my cone and ran at that chick's back and started pounding on her face so she could let go of my sister. Once that happened, I continued to punch her until she stopped trying to defend herself). I turned into a heartless monster the moment I'd see tears in my sister's eyes. I made motherfuckers pay for every tear she shed.
When it comes to me getting hurt, I'll stand quietly and take the punishment... especially that year in fourth grade.
People would always ask me why I'd put up with it... and the best I could come up with was a shrug.
I never fought back. Not even once. (I still don't even fight back, for the most part. I'll swallow my rage until I'm physically sick, vomiting all over the place from the built up bile)
And NO ONE stood up for me (well... ONCE, someone did... just once, and I don't think I've cried that hard in public... just because it meant so damn much to me to see someone finally try and stop the violence).
However, I will fight anyone or anything who tries to hurt the ones I love. I go ballistic.
It has always been that way, and it still is that way.
I fight for my loves like I wish someone would fight for me.
I only mention this because last night, right after I finished posting my entry, Sister walked into my room with a shaky voice and said
D: I got in my first adult fight just now...
I didn't look over at her, because I was busy with the laptop WHILE trying to catch up on my DVR shit.
However, D just sat on my bed and I could hear her breathing was shaky.
Me: Wait... what? "Adult fight?" Like an argument...
I turned around, and saw her eyes were red, the right side of the bridge of her nose was purple, and her left arm was bruised and bleeding.
Me: What... the... what the fuck?!
Last night was a stupid "concert" in town, very similar to the rap-olympics or whatever the fuck that's called. Bunch a dudes go on stage and "spit rhymes."
Woo. Hoo.
We had all been invited by none other than the Boys... from Europe.
The main person interested was 30thBirthdayBoy, because he's kind of seeing D's BestieFromtheBay.
Since I don't dig that scene... AT ALL, I chose not to go. It was just D and her bestie, with the stupid Boys who think they know anything about Europe.
I guess 30thBirthdayBoy has been seeing many other chicks, and one of the chicks he has been hooking up with lost her marbles when she saw him making out with DsBestieFromtheBay.
The ghetto hoodrat swatted at 30thBdayBoy, he decided to bounce, grabbing DsBestieFTB to take her away, and D followed, not knowing what was going on.
Next thing she knows, D gets sucker-punched in the eye.
It was the stupid crazy hoodrat.
Two different GUY cousins of ours saw this go down, yet they did and said nothing... even if they DID know the bitch.
D realized her phone had gotten lost in the scuffle, and so, she and Bestie decided to go back into the venue (The House of Blues... that magical venue).
They bump into the crazy hood rat.
Hoodrat goes for Bestie's hair and they scuffle.
D tries to break up the fight, but Hoodrat's friend pulls D by the hair/earring. Since D has short hair, she slips out of the grasp, and she manages to connect a punch with the bitch pulling her hair.
These four girls are brawling... at a rap-olympics... the only latinas in the venue are providing the real entertainment.
Anyway, security comes and breaks up the fight.
D leaves with her bestie--who has a busted lip and a scratch running from her right eye down to her neck-- and the boys, OUR cousins (actually, 30thBdayBoy is the son of my sister's godmother) who witnessed the whole thing? They do nothing.
NOTHING.
I was furious about this last night. I was sending texts back and forth, demanding a name... but OF COURSE everyone was telling me to drop it (they know I may be a quiet girl, but the moment someone crosses me, I become ruthless)... and they were acting as if they didn't see the fight.
I'm no longer fuming. I'm just "disappointed," but at the same time glad I found out the worth of this so called "family."
Two days ago I would have thrown down with any cunt who'd try to hurt them...
Today? I won't lift a fucking finger if I see them dying of thirst on the street.
Yo, I'll fight tooth and nail for my loves if I have to...
but the moment you prove to me that you won't do the same for yours... well, you just become a stranger to me then.
Scene A:
After getting cornered in the girl's bathroom, my "friends" Michelle and Jenelle (I swear to God, those were real names. I don't joke when I tell you my life could be turned into a sitcom) start beating the shit out of me... for the second time that school day, the third day in a row.
It's the middle of the school year, and it's been the same story for the last two months.
Jenelle stops with the punches, stands still, ponders something, then finally speaks up.
Jenelle: AnoMALIE... WHY don't you ever HIT BACK, you dumb ass?
I look up, stare her in her eyes, and very sincerely, but quietly say
"Because I don't hit my friends." (even writing that line now, 17 years later, my eyes get watery)
Jenelle: You don't hit your friends.... HAHAHA! You hear that, Michelle? She doesn't hit HER FRIENDS! HAHAHAHAHA! Well, we're NOT ::punches my stomach:: YOUR FRIENDS!
And the two continued kicking my ass until recess was over.
Scene B:
I'm in line in the cafeteria, waiting to have lunch. I notice one of D's friends tugging on my shirt.
DsFriend: D wants to talk to you... she's crying in the bathroom.
DsOtherFriend: Angelica made her cry.
I forgot about being hungry, I forgot about possibly getting in trouble for leaving the cafeteria before being dismissed by the teacher, and I just ran to the bathroom with the two friends to find my sister.
As Sister sobbed and told me her story behind her tears (Angelica teased her about how she cried when it rained and she then made fun of my mom), I felt my blood boil.
After calming my sister down and walking her to her class so she could sit outside and wait for her teacher, I went ahead and looked for Angelica.
It didn't take too long to find her, she was the only blond amongst the little hispanic girls.
I walked up to Angelica, grabbed her by the collar of her shirt, and very quietly, but sternly warned her
Me: You make my sister cry ONE. MORE. TIME, I'll fucking kick your ass. You hear me? ONE. MORE. TIME.
I went on with my day, got my ass kicked by my "friends" one more time, but I was called over to my sister's class a couple of minutes before the school day was over.
Angelica had been crying all day, her teacher--who was also D's-- wanted to talk to me because she said Angelica had told her I had threatened to kick her ass.
Teacher: Did you really do that, AnoMALIE?
I looked over at Angelica.
Me: The girl crying over there? I don't even know her.
The bell rang, and the teacher let me go.
I rode the bus with Angelica. I walked behind her all the way to her apartment complex, and as she was turning around to close the door to the gate of her complex, we made eye-contact.
Never. Again. Leave my sister alone.
Angelica wasn't the first or only peer of D's I threatened/fought. I fought boys who physically hurt her (I walked by one boy and made that throat-slitting gesture with my thumb the moment I heard he had made her bleed. I then found him a little later and body slammed him before lunch was over), and I even dropped whatever I was doing the moment I would see her in trouble (I was once eating an ice cream cone as I walked out of my house to see my neighbor/cousin dragging my sister by her hair. I dropped my cone and ran at that chick's back and started pounding on her face so she could let go of my sister. Once that happened, I continued to punch her until she stopped trying to defend herself). I turned into a heartless monster the moment I'd see tears in my sister's eyes. I made motherfuckers pay for every tear she shed.
When it comes to me getting hurt, I'll stand quietly and take the punishment... especially that year in fourth grade.
People would always ask me why I'd put up with it... and the best I could come up with was a shrug.
I never fought back. Not even once. (I still don't even fight back, for the most part. I'll swallow my rage until I'm physically sick, vomiting all over the place from the built up bile)
And NO ONE stood up for me (well... ONCE, someone did... just once, and I don't think I've cried that hard in public... just because it meant so damn much to me to see someone finally try and stop the violence).
However, I will fight anyone or anything who tries to hurt the ones I love. I go ballistic.
It has always been that way, and it still is that way.
I fight for my loves like I wish someone would fight for me.
I only mention this because last night, right after I finished posting my entry, Sister walked into my room with a shaky voice and said
D: I got in my first adult fight just now...
I didn't look over at her, because I was busy with the laptop WHILE trying to catch up on my DVR shit.
However, D just sat on my bed and I could hear her breathing was shaky.
Me: Wait... what? "Adult fight?" Like an argument...
I turned around, and saw her eyes were red, the right side of the bridge of her nose was purple, and her left arm was bruised and bleeding.
Me: What... the... what the fuck?!
Last night was a stupid "concert" in town, very similar to the rap-olympics or whatever the fuck that's called. Bunch a dudes go on stage and "spit rhymes."
Woo. Hoo.
We had all been invited by none other than the Boys... from Europe.
The main person interested was 30thBirthdayBoy, because he's kind of seeing D's BestieFromtheBay.
Since I don't dig that scene... AT ALL, I chose not to go. It was just D and her bestie, with the stupid Boys who think they know anything about Europe.
I guess 30thBirthdayBoy has been seeing many other chicks, and one of the chicks he has been hooking up with lost her marbles when she saw him making out with DsBestieFromtheBay.
The ghetto hoodrat swatted at 30thBdayBoy, he decided to bounce, grabbing DsBestieFTB to take her away, and D followed, not knowing what was going on.
Next thing she knows, D gets sucker-punched in the eye.
It was the stupid crazy hoodrat.
Two different GUY cousins of ours saw this go down, yet they did and said nothing... even if they DID know the bitch.
D realized her phone had gotten lost in the scuffle, and so, she and Bestie decided to go back into the venue (The House of Blues... that magical venue).
They bump into the crazy hood rat.
Hoodrat goes for Bestie's hair and they scuffle.
D tries to break up the fight, but Hoodrat's friend pulls D by the hair/earring. Since D has short hair, she slips out of the grasp, and she manages to connect a punch with the bitch pulling her hair.
These four girls are brawling... at a rap-olympics... the only latinas in the venue are providing the real entertainment.
Anyway, security comes and breaks up the fight.
D leaves with her bestie--who has a busted lip and a scratch running from her right eye down to her neck-- and the boys, OUR cousins (actually, 30thBdayBoy is the son of my sister's godmother) who witnessed the whole thing? They do nothing.
NOTHING.
I was furious about this last night. I was sending texts back and forth, demanding a name... but OF COURSE everyone was telling me to drop it (they know I may be a quiet girl, but the moment someone crosses me, I become ruthless)... and they were acting as if they didn't see the fight.
I'm no longer fuming. I'm just "disappointed," but at the same time glad I found out the worth of this so called "family."
Two days ago I would have thrown down with any cunt who'd try to hurt them...
Today? I won't lift a fucking finger if I see them dying of thirst on the street.
Yo, I'll fight tooth and nail for my loves if I have to...
but the moment you prove to me that you won't do the same for yours... well, you just become a stranger to me then.
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