NEVER let go, motherfucker!

And the award for greatest entrance into my home goes to...
MY SISTER!

When did this happen?
Today, at around 6:30PM.
What was she wearing?
Floral HnM bikini. White cover-up shirt that was down to her butt. Black purse... that was dripping water.

Doesn't sound weird?
That was ALL she was wearing.

At first I paid no mind to her stomping in the house.
I was celebrating the new U17 World Cup Championship going to Mexico. I (along with Mom and Rafa) was grubbing on some motherfucking tacos in the kitchen and feeling fantastic!
Arriba Mexico, cabrones!!Auuuuuch!

D: You didn't try calling me today?!
Me: No.
Mom: No.
Bro: Were we SUPPOSED to?
D: My fucking phone's DEAD!
The three of us sitting at the kitchen table: ... OK... ?
D: You REALLY don't see anything wrong?!

I took a better look at D.
Her hair was wet... not drenched, but it was obvious it was well on its way to getting completely air-dried. It had that beach look... where the tips are still wet and the hair is in those weird clumps... the strands stuck together. That "sexy beach hair" shit girls always go for.
Ok... so she jumped in the water when she went to the lake... 
(oh... I guess maybe I should have explained she had been at the lake since seven in the morning)
My eyes then inspected her shirt.
The white cover-up shirt was see-through... since it was still visibly wet. It was as if she were only wearing her floral bikini top...
Oh damn... she REALLY got wet.
D: I'M NOT WEARING ANY PANTS!! OR SHOES, DAMN IT!
Me: Oh... I thought... that was on purpose... ?
D: I. AM. NOT. WEARING. PANTS! How is that normal?!
Me: Hey, I don't know, fool! You do weird shit sometimes... maybe you forgot the pants and shoes at your friend's house or whatever.
D: THE MOTHERFUCKING BOAT SANK!

We all sat quietly... as if contemplating what D had just said (although I was trying to make faces at her to alert her that her hip tattoos were COMPLETELY visible through her shirt. I was giving her my best "PUT SOME MOTHERFUCKING PANTS ON! Mom's gonna KILL you if she sees the tattoos!" look).
Ohhhhhhh.... ok... wait... the boat did what?!

Yes.
The boat her friend (aka Ex-Boyfriend) had rented SANK.
I'd go into detail... but apparently there's some sort of legal issue going on now... so... it's best if I shut the fuck up about that.
What I CAN say was that D was on the boat as it was sinking because the waves were getting crazy at the lake. She was freaking out because she doesn't know how to swim... and one of her ex-coworkers drowned at the lake a few years ago after he fell off a jet-ski.

D says she had her pants and her shoes in her hand, and when it came down to rescue time "that shit was the FIRST thing I let go of! FUCK THAT! I wanted OFF THE BOAT ASAP. Fuck the pants and shoes! FUCK EVERYTHING! I didn't want to drown!"
D: Dude! It was like a fucking action movie! It was... fucking Titanic! You just see the boat sinking and all you wonder is if you stay on or jump ship!
The spot where they abandoned ship was very close to a tiny island of jagged rocks... and I guess D was the last to jump.
It was D and one of her besties who were refusing to jump off... because everybody's belongings were on the boat... as in: everyone's handbags were in the boat, underwater.
The ex convinced Sis to trust him and jump to safety.
Everyone who jumped got bloody (I mean, HELLO! JAGGED ROCKS!), but D's bestie was reluctant to jump. She stayed on that boat until the rangers showed up to rescue the gang.

The boys of the group tried rescuing the bags that were now rapidly sinking to the bottom of the lake... but since all BUT my sister's bag were beach bags, the majority of people's belongings went to hell (the guys gave many of their belongings to the girls to place in their purses. So they lost car/house keys and wallets... fucking terrible). Sister's bag had a zipper, and it's second nature for her to zip her shit... so everything remained in there... and oddly enough, her bag was the only one FLOATING (trust me, her bag is heavy as shit... I don't know how the fuck that shit floated in water). So, sister recovered everything BUT her pants and shoes... but it was all wet.
The thing that broke her heart most? Her phone. That thing died in her hands when the little guy tried coming back to life.

After this harrowing story of survival, Sister was so loving... and dependent.
She wanted me to accompany her everywhere... even the Apple store (D, be without a phone for more than a day? Are you shitting me? IMPOSSIBLE!).
D: After having my life flash before my eyes... I just really want to spend time with you guys, my family. Today was terrifying... all I could think of was fucking Titanic... the part with Rose and Jack... that "never letting go" shit. Oh my God... it was SO TRUE! *Ex* was so... his voice was... so different. He was so... I was the only one he was protecting. Oh man.... oh my God... I think I fell in love with him as he was saving my life... even if my legs are all fucked up and I can't even walk now.

So... I spent the remainder of my time coddling my sister.
I went to the goddamn Apple store in shitty clothes, reeking of TACOS... with these two, embarrassingly large, salsa stains at the corners of my mouth (unbeknownst to me, obviously), for crying out loud.

The shit I do for my sister.