In true AnoMALIE fashion, let's stick to yesterday's topic:
Mexicans are gifted when it comes to double entendre... aka being perverted.It's a freakin' gift most of us are born with, and if we work it, we can become experts in the area.
Well, I'm not an expert, and most of the time, my double entendre is one hundred percent accidental.
Like with what happened to me a couple of minutes ago.
This is what happens when a Latin-American candy (similar to taffy, but healthier, believe it or not) has the same name as the Spanish slang term for vagina:
Mom: Que es eso en tu boca? (What's that in your mouth?)
Me: Panocha! (Pussy, or you know, the candy's name)
(Mom slaps my mouth, not hard, but it was a little jarring)
Mom: Malcriada! (ummm, I guess it could be "bad girl")
Me: What?! (I stick out my tongue to show the candy)
Stupid ass candy... I never liked it until recently when Mom came back from Mexico and all of a sudden I found myself addicted to the damn thing. If only I didn't feel so dirty saying the name... or you know, they changed it to some sort of Willy Wonka-like name.
No one ever feels bad saying "Damn, I love Laffy-Taffy!"
Hold on, wait... I take that back.
Thank you very much, D4L and Mexican-American-ness, for making me sound like a dirty, bi-sexual whore while talking about candy.
7 comments:
LMAO as if your mom could have actually thought you would ever say you had that in your mouth.
So many bad thoughts. You have no idea how hard it was for me to behave myself here in the comments.
I'll never think of Laffy Taffy again.
Make that, I'll never be able to think of laffy taffy in the same way again.
Haha.. come on now... you're worried about behaving? You're talking to a girl who uses the word "Fuck" as a verb, noun,adjective, adverb, pronoun, direction, etc. That's the last thing you need to worry about.
Yeah, and I'm sorry I had to ruin Laffy Taffy... for everyone. So please, do try to supress your giggles next time someone asks if you want some Laffy Taffy.
Ok, two things then:
1. The candy must not taste anything like what the slang term refers to or else I doubt you'd be addicted. Unless you're a lesbian, which I gather you are not.
2. I saw a friend of mine tucking some Laffy Taffys into her purse this morning. I asked her if I could have some candy and she said she didn't have any. I asked what the little green and yellow things were then and she said . . .
(wait for it)
(wait for it)
. . . TAMPONS!
Oops, my bad.
Ok, one more then I'm done. I swear. I told this story to my roommate's son (who's from Honduras) because I thought it was funny. He'd never heard of the candy before, but obviously had heard the slang term. Anyway, yesterday when I got home he called me into his room and showed me the recipe for panocha fudge.
Him: I copied it from online.
Me: I just think it's hilarious that you looked it up.
Him: Yeah, but you have no idea how many porn sites I had to go through before I found it.
OK... so maybe it wasn't the smartest thing to do (OKing the writing of these things) while I'm in physical pain. You have me laughing to the point where I'm almost crying 'cause my intercostals (won't you look at that? Mam Phys did make a difference in my life) hurt like a bitch. Oh well... that shit is funny.
P.S. You know that kid enjoyed going through the porn sites (although... I'd put money on the sites being lame because people that use that expression tend to be...trashy and not capable of producing entertaining sites. haha I say that as if I've checked them out before)... he's a good little actor.
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