Me: Oh my goodness... tomorrow's December 1st, isn't it?!
Sister: Yup.
Mom: You gonna say "rabbit, rabbit" tomorrow morning?
And like that, I realized why this year has sucked so much dick! It's because I no longer say "rabbit, rabbit" first thing in the morning on the first of the month!
Back in elementary school, when I learned everything "American" off the television... mostly just Nickelodeon, I remember there was a bit where they would give you little factoids during commercial breaks. I think Stick Stickly might have been responsible for it.
This was the place where I learned about the eggs being able to sit upright during Winter and Summer Solstice, and only then. Also where I learned about Earth Day and all that shit.
Anyway, during one of these factoid commercial breaks, they went ahead and mentioned how in... some culture, people believe it's of great luck to start your month off by having the words "rabbit, rabbit" be the first words to be uttered by you on that day.
I did this for years.
It was a little heartbreaking during my tough years... when I'd wake up in the morning of the first and think "PLEASE... let this month be better than the last... PLEASE." It usually didn't happen.
Still, on the mornings of the first, my siblings and I did the shit siblings do best: fight.
We'd try to fuck the other one over by forcing them to say something OTHER than "rabbit, rabbit" in the morning.
This was usually accomplished by being the first to wake up to piss off the other sibling(s).
So... now that no one is around to play these tricks on me, looks like I know what I'm going to be doing first thing tomorrow morning.
"Fucking son of a bitch" counts... right?
Sister: Yup.
Mom: You gonna say "rabbit, rabbit" tomorrow morning?
And like that, I realized why this year has sucked so much dick! It's because I no longer say "rabbit, rabbit" first thing in the morning on the first of the month!
Back in elementary school, when I learned everything "American" off the television... mostly just Nickelodeon, I remember there was a bit where they would give you little factoids during commercial breaks. I think Stick Stickly might have been responsible for it.
This was the place where I learned about the eggs being able to sit upright during Winter and Summer Solstice, and only then. Also where I learned about Earth Day and all that shit.
Anyway, during one of these factoid commercial breaks, they went ahead and mentioned how in... some culture, people believe it's of great luck to start your month off by having the words "rabbit, rabbit" be the first words to be uttered by you on that day.
I did this for years.
It was a little heartbreaking during my tough years... when I'd wake up in the morning of the first and think "PLEASE... let this month be better than the last... PLEASE." It usually didn't happen.
Still, on the mornings of the first, my siblings and I did the shit siblings do best: fight.
We'd try to fuck the other one over by forcing them to say something OTHER than "rabbit, rabbit" in the morning.
This was usually accomplished by being the first to wake up to piss off the other sibling(s).
- We held the sleeping bastard's nose closed until he/she would wake up startled, then watched him/her get pissed because he/she would see our big head hovering over him/her with a huge, taunting smile on our face.
- We sprayed the sleeping loser's face with water... usually resulting on the poor loser waking up and cussing instead of saying anything related to a certain cute, furry animal.
- We'd hover over the sleeping beauty and ask them a question the moment their eyes would open. "WHERE'S MOM?!" Usually did the trick.
- If really pissed with the sleeping offender, we resorted to the tried and true method of ruining someone's morning-- a swift kick to the ass.
So... now that no one is around to play these tricks on me, looks like I know what I'm going to be doing first thing tomorrow morning.
"Fucking son of a bitch" counts... right?
No comments:
Post a Comment