Ah, yes, finally recovered after my first "successful" 4th of July festivity.
I don't think I have ever gone to a party celebrating Independence Day, though I have done the whole fireworks bullshit a few times.
It was a bunch of Mexicans... eating American food... which I don't dig.
Hot dogs, burgers... chips... and watermelon for desert... three dozen giant BURNT chocolate chip cookies... and carrot cake.
Americana... erghh. They didn't even have hot sauce.
Dude's my first cousin, and has always been super cool with me... a little on the creeper side sometimes, not gonna lie.
He was born and raised in Mexico, finally immigrated (illegally, of course) to the US when he was a fifth grader. I'd say he's trying very hard to assimilate to the culture... really, man? No salsa? Ufff.
Anyway, I love this cousin, so I go to every single one of his parties, even if I know I'll be hurting the entire time. Nig boozes me up, I can't complain!
So yeah, this party... it had:
1. Food I do not like...
I found myself eating SIX of the burned cookies.
In the middle of my fourth cookie, I thought to myself
Yeah, I definitely have an eating disorder.
It didn't keep me from going for another two.
2. Crying babies.
So many fucking babies... ill-behaved babies... loud babies.
3. NO cell phone reception.
I LOATHE Mountain's Edge. Fucking retarded piece of shit neighborhood that might as well be on the moon.
Mountain's Edge... more like "Murder's Edge." Someone could just drive you out there and kill your ass... you'd be unable to call for help... seeing how there is NO CELL PHONE RECEPTION. Location for the perfect crime.
4. Fireworks.
FIVE HOURS WORTH of fire works. Is that normal? I was fed up by 11:30... when my head was pounding and I couldn't see straight. I hate the noise, I hate the smell... I hate everything about fireworks. They're dumb, pointless, and dangerous. Fuck those shits, seriously.
I'm mesmerized by the people who DO love fireworks.
WHY? What the hell?
Especially the LOUD fireworks. I'm completely dumbfounded by those people.
5. Dogs.
I love dogs. Dogs love me.
I love dark-colored pants. Dark-colored pants don't like dog hair.
I ended the night completely covered in white and gold dog hair from... I can't remember the dog breed, I just know it's the breed from Lady and the Tramp... "Lady." That dog. Super soft... impossible not to pet for hours on end. I also made the mistake of feeding my burger to the three dogs, and so I spent the rest of the night hounded by the little fuckers.
6. No "single" people.
I was the only single person there. Everyone else was either married or living together.
Worst part was the pity-party they were throwing for me.
Awww! Poor AnoMALIE now home alone with her parents. No siblings. No boyfriend. No babies. No job. No... anything.
Gee, thanks.
7. My ex-boyfriend.
Yeahhhhhh.....
8. LIQUOR!
YEAAAAAAAH!
Needless to say, I was fucked up.
My cousin asked me if I wanted to drink... actually, he demanded I drink, and seeing how I was not going to be DD, I took full fucking advantage.
I drank half of the Cake Vodka bottle. Straight. Yup. I don't play.
Shit hit the fan once my ex showed up.
That dude I liked as a kid... I liked him throughout my childhood but nothing happened because we were both too shy to say anything. Then he was introduced to his cousin's best friend... dated her for a few months and got married to her.
Now, whenever we coincide at parties... it's awkward as shit... especially since his wife knows our "story."
These two have a kid... so that's weird as well... to see his kid... have his kid be all over me, and me proceeding to play with her and make her giggle and whatnot. It's all so strange and I really just wish I wouldn't have to do it.
My other cousin's baby boy was there too. This kid I love. He's a silly little grouch... whose first words are officially "NO!"... and he mean-mugs everyone who tries to touch him without his consent. Kid has a meanass attitude problem... and I love it. Reminds me of me.
Anyway, I spent the majority of the party playing with this baby. I was running up and down the house playing peek-a-boo, tag, races, "I'm gonna grab you by your feet and drag you across the carpet," "toss you in the air and act like I'm going to drop you." All those violent games that make hyper baby boys laugh.
And I did it all drunk.
Well, ok, not fully drunk, more like buzzed.
I did it to get my exercise in, avoid the ex, avoid the fireworks, avoid the dogs (which was unsuccessful because the moment I started playing "horse-y" with the kid the dogs were all over me), avoid the burned cookies, avoid thinking about my feelings, avoid explaining to everyone at the party that I was NOT sad over the fact that I am now "alone" without my siblings (seriously, guys, that shit gets tiring to explain. People GROW UP. Let it go. I'm fine)... all that shit. I just wanted to be in the moment.
I'm buzzing, I'm chasing this baby, and all I want to see is his smiling, mischievous face, and hear his hilarious, unique giggle. Fuck everything else, buddy.
I think I succeeded.
Fuck, I hate American food...
I don't think I have ever gone to a party celebrating Independence Day, though I have done the whole fireworks bullshit a few times.
It was a bunch of Mexicans... eating American food... which I don't dig.
Hot dogs, burgers... chips... and watermelon for desert... three dozen giant BURNT chocolate chip cookies... and carrot cake.
Americana... erghh. They didn't even have hot sauce.
Dude's my first cousin, and has always been super cool with me... a little on the creeper side sometimes, not gonna lie.
He was born and raised in Mexico, finally immigrated (illegally, of course) to the US when he was a fifth grader. I'd say he's trying very hard to assimilate to the culture... really, man? No salsa? Ufff.
Anyway, I love this cousin, so I go to every single one of his parties, even if I know I'll be hurting the entire time. Nig boozes me up, I can't complain!
So yeah, this party... it had:
1. Food I do not like...
I found myself eating SIX of the burned cookies.
In the middle of my fourth cookie, I thought to myself
Yeah, I definitely have an eating disorder.
It didn't keep me from going for another two.
2. Crying babies.
So many fucking babies... ill-behaved babies... loud babies.
3. NO cell phone reception.
I LOATHE Mountain's Edge. Fucking retarded piece of shit neighborhood that might as well be on the moon.
Mountain's Edge... more like "Murder's Edge." Someone could just drive you out there and kill your ass... you'd be unable to call for help... seeing how there is NO CELL PHONE RECEPTION. Location for the perfect crime.
4. Fireworks.
FIVE HOURS WORTH of fire works. Is that normal? I was fed up by 11:30... when my head was pounding and I couldn't see straight. I hate the noise, I hate the smell... I hate everything about fireworks. They're dumb, pointless, and dangerous. Fuck those shits, seriously.
I'm mesmerized by the people who DO love fireworks.
WHY? What the hell?
Especially the LOUD fireworks. I'm completely dumbfounded by those people.
5. Dogs.
I love dogs. Dogs love me.
I love dark-colored pants. Dark-colored pants don't like dog hair.
I ended the night completely covered in white and gold dog hair from... I can't remember the dog breed, I just know it's the breed from Lady and the Tramp... "Lady." That dog. Super soft... impossible not to pet for hours on end. I also made the mistake of feeding my burger to the three dogs, and so I spent the rest of the night hounded by the little fuckers.
6. No "single" people.
I was the only single person there. Everyone else was either married or living together.
Worst part was the pity-party they were throwing for me.
Awww! Poor AnoMALIE now home alone with her parents. No siblings. No boyfriend. No babies. No job. No... anything.
Gee, thanks.
7. My ex-boyfriend.
Yeahhhhhh.....
8. LIQUOR!
YEAAAAAAAH!
Needless to say, I was fucked up.
My cousin asked me if I wanted to drink... actually, he demanded I drink, and seeing how I was not going to be DD, I took full fucking advantage.
I drank half of the Cake Vodka bottle. Straight. Yup. I don't play.
Shit hit the fan once my ex showed up.
That dude I liked as a kid... I liked him throughout my childhood but nothing happened because we were both too shy to say anything. Then he was introduced to his cousin's best friend... dated her for a few months and got married to her.
Now, whenever we coincide at parties... it's awkward as shit... especially since his wife knows our "story."
These two have a kid... so that's weird as well... to see his kid... have his kid be all over me, and me proceeding to play with her and make her giggle and whatnot. It's all so strange and I really just wish I wouldn't have to do it.
My other cousin's baby boy was there too. This kid I love. He's a silly little grouch... whose first words are officially "NO!"... and he mean-mugs everyone who tries to touch him without his consent. Kid has a meanass attitude problem... and I love it. Reminds me of me.
Anyway, I spent the majority of the party playing with this baby. I was running up and down the house playing peek-a-boo, tag, races, "I'm gonna grab you by your feet and drag you across the carpet," "toss you in the air and act like I'm going to drop you." All those violent games that make hyper baby boys laugh.
And I did it all drunk.
Well, ok, not fully drunk, more like buzzed.
I did it to get my exercise in, avoid the ex, avoid the fireworks, avoid the dogs (which was unsuccessful because the moment I started playing "horse-y" with the kid the dogs were all over me), avoid the burned cookies, avoid thinking about my feelings, avoid explaining to everyone at the party that I was NOT sad over the fact that I am now "alone" without my siblings (seriously, guys, that shit gets tiring to explain. People GROW UP. Let it go. I'm fine)... all that shit. I just wanted to be in the moment.
I'm buzzing, I'm chasing this baby, and all I want to see is his smiling, mischievous face, and hear his hilarious, unique giggle. Fuck everything else, buddy.
I think I succeeded.
Fuck, I hate American food...
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