Failed Experiment. Good.

So... uh... for the last few months, I've run a tiny experiment:
How long can I last without gushing over Darcy?

I've tried acquiring crushes on other dudes... finding someone who inspires me as much as he, and refraining from getting on here and subjecting others to my endless fawning over a dude who doesn't dig me like that.
I didn't run the experiment because I think he's a bad guy, god no!
I did it because I put myself in his shoes. How would I feel if I had a dude being all weird about me, when I didn't feel the same (question to which I have gotten an answer, since that awkward moment of AnoMALIE-fandom from that dude friend of mine. This made me empathize WAY more with Darcy. Holy shit, I need to TONE IT DOWN!)?
Also, it's kinda rough on the heart to like someone so much and have him not reciprocate.
There are no winners here!

So, I tried thinking of other shit... like how angry people make me, how much I love cupcakes, and how awesome ice cream really is. I guess I also focused on proper lift forms... as long as they weren't squats-- I'll always associate him with that move from now on.
I tried finding other dudes cute... but uh... nope, didn't work.
Dudes still don't measure up. If they meet the physical criteria of what I find cute, their mind is nowhere near on the same level as Darcy... or their humor won't be there. In this time, I've actually met an unusually high number of dudes who hate sarcasm-- a little bewildering, if you ask me (how do you NOT like sarcasm, you wet diaper?!).
When I find dudes I connect with on an intellectual/humor level (like with Los), I am never physically attracted. At all. Even if they make me giggle. Even if they have a sexy voice.

This led to me just... ignoring dudes completely, at least in the sentimental sense (everyone knows I can't stop admiring dudes... it's a favorite pastime of mine. I'm a med school drop-out, I can't deny I'm a fan of the human body-- especially the male human body. That sounds a little creepy, doesn't it? Ew).
Everything was going as quiet and robotic as expected... but come June, I lost... for obvious reason: soccer.
Each time Darcy directed anything my way was like a fucking carnival-- smiles, backflips (not really. Remember I'm sort of traumatized about performing these. But you get the point), claps... pretty much the return of Retarded Seal Status.
He's fucking adorable, I can't control my reaction. No matter how much time goes by, I revert to that same fangirl who gets light-headed with just the mention of his name (someone should really remind me to breathe. I'm a pathetic sight). Is that normal? Probably not... I'm ridiculously immature.

Don't cringe guys, but Retarded Seal Status might last a little longer. Starting tomorrow, he'll be on the same side of the Atlantic as me... same country, same time zone, same city. Yup. Awesome, though sometimes I prefer to think he's so far away. It helps keep me functioning properly, and reminds me that he's THAT far away from liking me. The distance helps my heart realize it needs to grow up and chill out... leave the poor dude alone.
Siiiiigh.
Dude is dope.

I apologize if my spelling, punctuation, grammar, logic, attention-span etc. goes to hell for the next few days... but y'all know he discombobulates me... still.
I'll also try not to be annoying.

I'll try and stick to being cranky and on the verge of slapping some bitches at the gym.
No promises, though. Remember, I AM a textbook Pisces after all.