Gorda? Nah, solo un poco sorda.

Ahhh! Things are going so fast! And so many things are happening, it's getting difficult to keep my shit straight.
I have to thank my lovely friends... for kicking my ass at karaoke, but making it a fun ass kicking. An ass kicking that made me laugh like a maniac. And forget shit.
Also have to give a shoutout to Mooney. I was intoxicated with carne asada today (in a good way, I mean) 

Tio M-style carne right there!
(sight of that prime rib still makes my mouth water. I'm such a fucking animal now... sheesh)
Shorty has always known the way to my heart!

and so... like... shit's hazy right now. I have that happily satiated feel going on... so... just bear with me.

Let me give this entry a good ol' try now:

In the last year, I've heard plenty of shit concerning my weight loss.

Everything from me having an eating disorder (which I joked about yesterday. But it's not a disorder... it's just me being addicted to cookies. That's fucking normal, if you ask me. As for keeping track of what I eat: I MUST. NOT holding myself accountable for everything I inhale is what got me in trouble in the first place. Not giving a shit about "and extra piece or two" is what got me to be 245 pounds. So EXCUSE ME, for putting strict limitations on what goes in my body nowadays. You can continue to reward yourself with food-- I love dogs and everything, but I'm not too eager to consider myself one... so no edible "rewards" for me. I'll stick to new pairs of pants/shirts/dresses/bras/underwear as MY reward. Thanks), to doing drugs (obviously you have no idea what a fucking control-freak I am when it comes to MY actions. I've NEVER liked the sensation of being unable to control what my body does, so I'm a drug free kid for life), to liposuction (seriously, if I had the nerve to get some sort of medical procedure done, the first things fixed would be my tits. So... you go ahead and keep thinking I lipo-ed my whole fucking body, twat).

I've heard it all.

I've written a lot about it, too.

The fierceness with which people hate on me is the same fierceness with which my loved ones defend me.

However, each time I hear a new accusation, I can't help but get aggressive... and wildly upset.

The latest incident involves Pacemaker's aunt who happens to live here in Vegas. The lady flew up to the bay when Pacemaker's dad was diagnosed with cancer.

Pacemaker mentioned this lady during our conversation, and I casually commented how neither the woman nor her two daughters cross a word with me... they actually go out of their way to NOT acknowledge me each time we happen to bump into each other.

Pacemaker's Cousin: Funny you mention that... because when they came up here to visit Pacemaker and the family, all three started talking shit about you. They said you and your sister were only skinny because you're reliant on diet pills.

Pacemaker: We both tried to correct them. We told them we know first hand how hardcore you guys are about your nutrition and workouts, but they quickly shut us up and said they live in Vegas, and know "the truth."

Pacemaker's Cousin: Woman SWEARS she knows you so well...

What upset me most was that they said this happened when they were all chilling in a packed room... so... pretty much "Hometown" people in the Bay think this is true.

Not gonna lie, this revelation made me cry. It hurt my feelings, it infuriated me, and it frustrated me.

So many thoughts crossed my mind... particularly RANTS to post on FB, where plenty of people will see it... including these bitches, because they snoop my page.

I was so upset, I went out and vented to Mom at midnight... and SHE was the one who told me to calm the fuck down-- something I finally did at three in the morning.

What did I do? I changed my FB profile photo, and wrote a nice little quote that I KNOW they'll understand.

My favorite way to tell someone to lick my dick-analogous clit.

Let the fucking dogs keep barking, I say.

Well... this only brought more drama. Of course. (and some fun shit, but let's focus on the drama, because that shit engulfs me)

I think that's where I'll end this for now, before I get too belligerent.