I have a tendency to enjoy hanging out in groups of three.
I blame the fact that I have two siblings... so three just seems extra natural to me.
My friendship circles have always been groups of three.
There's my group of the Musketeers.
This is my group in college composed of my good ol' bestie and my dude buddy Kyle. We were three homies dealing with college shenanigans.
Then Kyle got married and it sort of died.
Now my bestie's getting married.
So... it's just me... the lone wolf (no motherfucking Hangover refferrences, please!), watching my buddies fall in love and me continuing on... I guess kind of like Bambi, I know I've used that reference here.
Then there's my teen group.
My early teen's group.
Three girls: me (13), my second cousin Cristi (13), and my second cousin from "the other side" Denise (14).
We were three girls, eagerly awaiting our turn to grow up. We'd be in Mexico, and spent our days walking the railroad tracks, heading to the bridge, and we'd giggle about our crushes as we'd throw pebbles into the river... and ok, we'd also spit into it as well.
Cristi and Denise had bangin' bodies... and I... well, I was the tall, fat, quiet, awkward one.
I was the girl the boys would herd, befriend, all in the name of getting ME to talk about THEM to Cristi and Denise... all so I could hook them up.
This hurt. Bad. But it also was responsible for the ease with which I now befriend guys.
Anyway, I sat back and watched as these two were worshiped by the guys... and how they each started growing up... started... well, being in normal, functioning relationships. How they were wanted.
I remained the quiet, loney, child, left to only listen to these girls gush about the different guys... and me not knowing what that shit even felt like... but hoping that sometime in the near future... maybe when I lost weight and gained tits or an attractive ass, maybe then I'd have some stories of my own.
Cristi proceeded to get married in '08... I was a bridesmaid there. I have never cried as bitterly as the night I got home from that wedding. It was a terrible experience. It broke my heart.
Denise seemed to be going my route. She was hardly in the "news" and hardly dated. It seemed like maybe she'd keep me company in this club of lonely hearts.
But alas... she became engaged in July.
Yesterday, she messaged me and asked me to be her bridesmaid-- I accepted. I will be there, accompanying my last "trio" friend as she leaves me alone in the "single" boat and joins the ranks of the married.
It's like I have an out-of-body experience. I stand and watch as everyone gets taken out, and I'm slowly being left behind. Alone. On the field.
I'm told to be patient, that everyone eventually gets plucked out of that field...
but I know, I FEEL IT, I know it's just something that was never meant for me.
I blame the fact that I have two siblings... so three just seems extra natural to me.
My friendship circles have always been groups of three.
There's my group of the Musketeers.
This is my group in college composed of my good ol' bestie and my dude buddy Kyle. We were three homies dealing with college shenanigans.
Then Kyle got married and it sort of died.
Now my bestie's getting married.
So... it's just me... the lone wolf (no motherfucking Hangover refferrences, please!), watching my buddies fall in love and me continuing on... I guess kind of like Bambi, I know I've used that reference here.
Then there's my teen group.
My early teen's group.
Three girls: me (13), my second cousin Cristi (13), and my second cousin from "the other side" Denise (14).
We were three girls, eagerly awaiting our turn to grow up. We'd be in Mexico, and spent our days walking the railroad tracks, heading to the bridge, and we'd giggle about our crushes as we'd throw pebbles into the river... and ok, we'd also spit into it as well.
Cristi and Denise had bangin' bodies... and I... well, I was the tall, fat, quiet, awkward one.
I was the girl the boys would herd, befriend, all in the name of getting ME to talk about THEM to Cristi and Denise... all so I could hook them up.
This hurt. Bad. But it also was responsible for the ease with which I now befriend guys.
Anyway, I sat back and watched as these two were worshiped by the guys... and how they each started growing up... started... well, being in normal, functioning relationships. How they were wanted.
I remained the quiet, loney, child, left to only listen to these girls gush about the different guys... and me not knowing what that shit even felt like... but hoping that sometime in the near future... maybe when I lost weight and gained tits or an attractive ass, maybe then I'd have some stories of my own.
Cristi proceeded to get married in '08... I was a bridesmaid there. I have never cried as bitterly as the night I got home from that wedding. It was a terrible experience. It broke my heart.
Denise seemed to be going my route. She was hardly in the "news" and hardly dated. It seemed like maybe she'd keep me company in this club of lonely hearts.
But alas... she became engaged in July.
Yesterday, she messaged me and asked me to be her bridesmaid-- I accepted. I will be there, accompanying my last "trio" friend as she leaves me alone in the "single" boat and joins the ranks of the married.
It's like I have an out-of-body experience. I stand and watch as everyone gets taken out, and I'm slowly being left behind. Alone. On the field.
I'm told to be patient, that everyone eventually gets plucked out of that field...
but I know, I FEEL IT, I know it's just something that was never meant for me.
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