24N, 106W

Ever played with the Malaria Map on the CDC's website?
I have. I enjoy it.
In North America, there is no malaria... EXCEPT for a small area in Mexico. What does the map say?

Present in Chiapas, rural areas in the states of Nayarit, Oaxaca, Sinaloa, and in an area between 24N and 28N latitude, and 106W and 110W longitude, which lies in parts of Sonora, Chihuahua, and Durango. Rare cases in Quintana Roo and Tabasco. No malaria along the United States-Mexico border and in the major resorts along the Pacific and Gulf coasts.

What are the coordinates of the place where I (usually) live three, sometimes four months a year?
25.28N, 105.63W, that's... quite fucking flirty with danger. And I hang out at 106-territory when I travel to the neighboring towns, which I do quite often while out there. I spend hours in 106 territory... I camp out in 106 territory. Oops!

This is... well, I've known this since junior year of high school, when my friend tried donating blood for extra-credit, and the nurse didn't allow it because she asked her if she had been to Mexico in the last six months.
Friend: Yes. I was there in the summer.
Nurse: Well, the area with malaria is quite small. Where did you go?
Friend: *Hometown*
Nurse: You're kidding... did you look at the map or something?
Friend: No... why?
Nurse: That's located in the "small place" in Mexico. No 10-points extra-credit for you.

But, I still play with the map... because I can't believe my luck.
And yeah, I once had a case of malaria that almost killed me back in my pre-school days, but to tell you the truth, malaria's a rite of passage for all us Mexican-American kids who venture out to Hometown; we've all had it at some point in our lives. I'm immune to that shit now (and if that isn't weird enough, a couple of people from Hometown have sickle-cell. Well, it isn't that weird if you've taken biology classes... it's pretty much expected... but I still kind of laugh at the thought... although I probably shouldn't)... so... I think that makes me better than you.
(I'M KIDDING!!!)

Anyway, knowing all this about the malaria (even if it's a non-issue in the winter), and the narco-violence going on down there-- the beheadings, the abductions, all of that shit-- guess what this big idiot wants to do for Christmas.
Yeah, that's right... I want to go to Hometown.
I CAN'T HELP IT!
I love it!
I'm a motherfucking salmon, I tell you! I will fight the stream and the grizzly bears to get to the place where I grew up (kind of. I did spend more time in Vegas, overall. But when it comes to the best moments in my life, Mexico wins hands down).

It's not just me, the rest of the household has moments of weakness where one or the other whines "I... wanna go to... Mexico..."
We see our queso ranchero and carne seca reserves go down, and we can't help but frown.
Me: Is the cheese really that important?
Mom: YES!
Me: Like... if someone brought some over from Hometown, would you pay... a hundred dollars for one of those baby cheeses?
Mom: TWO HUNDRED!

Mom wants to go for the food (and family. But the food is the pressing matter right now).
Dad wants to go because he gets to be a lazy, nosey Hometown man who doesn't even pick up his own underwear from the bathroom floor when he showers. He turns HARDCORE macho man out there. It frustrates the FUCK out of the rest of the house.
Sister wants to go because we're probably sober three out of the ten days we're out there.
Brother wants to go out there because... he's sober three out of the 240 hours we're out there... and he gets to hook up with multiple sloppy bitches at least three times a week.
I want to go out there for a more legit reason: I need my wisdom teeth pulled out.
:(
Words cannot begin to describe how SCARED I am over the procedure... but 1) my dentist lives out there 2) It's 100 bucks a tooth extraction out there 3) I don't want the ONE fucked up wisdom tooth to fuck up my useful molars.
... and Ok, I too want to get twisted with my loved ones. That shit's hilarious, and right now, I REALLY need "hilarious" in my life.

So... I think I'm heading out there.
...
....
Such a fucking hard decision.
To live or not to live?
To be paranoid and terrified for ten days, but get my mouth fixed... or stay home and deal with my paternal side's fucked-up-ass Christmas antics?

So hard.