Fino, finito.

If you're not getting much play from your online profile, now is a great time to tap into your creative powers. Fire it up with cool facts, great pics and sweet stories. Rely on your ingenuity!

My horoscope for today.
Ha!
"Cool facts, great pics and sweet stories?"
Umm... ok, first off, my only on-line profile is Facebook (I do still hold on to Myspace, but only for the blog posts... because some of them make me laugh. But I don't use it other than that). I don't have Facebook to try and hook up with anyone. Granted, I like/have liked a couple of my FB dude friends (like Darcy. But what girl wouldn't have her "Darcy" as a friend on FB?), but it's not like I'm actively seeking dates with random dudes on the damn thing (that's too damn lame, even for me). Hell no.  
It's just me letting my friends know what I'm up to... or quickly asking them something instead of texting or calling... or occasionally flirting with a cute friend.
The fact that I'm not "getting much play" from FB is no issue for me.

Fill it with cool facts, great pics, and sweet stories?
Great pics? Well, my photos are... eh. I have them as fond memories of great places I've been. Not many with my face in them, since I don't really enjoy photos, but I do like the pics on there.
Cool facts? Like... the fact that I was raised in the ghetto? That I used to play with the empty lighters of crack-addicts as a kid because I didn't know what they were for? Is that cool enough? Maybe the boring fact that I'm pretty badass on the violin? Some of my friends don't even know what a violin looks like. And I HATE getting into arguments over how classical music is BEAUTIFUL and ten times more superb than the bullshit most people listen to. Seriously. I get worked up even thinking about it. Justin Bieber (March 1st baby, sadly)? KE$HA (March 1st baby, again)?! Tchaikovsky, Vivaldi (March 4th baby. Almost a March 1s baby, almost), Bach (March 31st baby, but if it weren't for those 30 days, he'd be exactly 300 years older than me... which hey, fuck it, I'll claim him), Chopin (March 1st, finally. Coincidence? I think not! It's more than obvious that I chose the wrong career), motherfuckers! That's music! (So... looks like I'll keep the factoids to myself)
Sweet stories?
Hmmm... like... the one about my first ever pets? That must be sweet, right?
Ok, let's try:

As previously mentioned, I lived in the ghetto from the time I was born, until the last month of my 8th grade year. The "house" was small, and we barely had room for all five members of the family, so pets were out of the question (especially the pet my retarded ass wanted: a horse. Yeah, ok, I wasn't very bright).
My siblings and I spent our childhood begging for a dog... which of course, we never got (we did get Tyson, but I was 16 by then). We would have to settle for living in Mexico in the summers, where my mom's Dad always had a new puppy and a litter of kitties waiting for us to play with. He'd also let me play with his horses and the occasional colt that my favorite mare (Tony La Chivera! I loved that bitch. She was the shit. She hated everyone but me and my grandpa) would have (hence, why Mexico became my heart and soul. It gave me a world I would have otherwise never known existed. You know, a happy, semi-normal one...). Everyone noticed how much we liked, and wanted, pets.

Anyway, back in the United States, Mooney had bunnies around the time I was a 6th grader. We'd go to her house at least once a week to play with the pet bunnies. I'm sure they felt sad over the fact that we were so eager to have pets... since we'd play outside with the poor things for freakin' hours.
Somehow, Mooney's Dad convinced Mom to allow us to each get a bunny. Male bunnies, so we wouldn't have to worry about being overrun by rabbits.
Rafa, Sister, and I chose our own rabbits. Rafa got a runty albino bunny, Sister got a giant white with light-brown bunny, and I got a medium white with black bunny. Apollo, Fino, and Coby, respectively.
Fino was a total bully, who would rape the other two rabbits at night and I'd have to wake up and squirt them with water. Apollo was a total bitch, who would just take it... actually, no, Apollo was hardcore gay (this was discovered one day we placed the rabbits with other rabbits. While Fino and Coby went for the females and humped them, Apollo went for the only other male in the bunch. The females loved Apollo and he hated them. Such a strange rabbit) and he enjoyed it. Coby, my rabbit, was a fighter. He was the only one who would bite back and all that shit... and he would never try humping any of the other rabbits.
While Fino was an asshole rapist with the rabbits, he was a total sweetheart with humans. He would give my sister and me "gifts" when we would allow the bunnies to run around in the backyard. He would seriously carry weird-shaped leaves and twigs to us and place them in our hand. It was hard to hold a grudge against him for harassing the other rabbits when he'd be the kindest, sweetest bunny to us. That big bastard.
Well, one day Fino got in a huge fight with Coby. He bit the hell out of my poor rabbit's back, and this made us angry.
Sister: Why's my rabbit such an asshole? I fucking hate him sometimes!

Mom and Dad had been carrying on a joke about how we needed to "enjoy the rabbits now. They're going to be on our dinner plate soon."
Whaaat? Never!
We always told them that day would never come. But this day, the day Coby was bitten, Sister was pissed... and she wanted something from Dad. I no longer remember why she was licking his ass... but she wanted something of value. So she told him:
"Daddy! You can eat my rabbit when he gets big enough!"
I remember looking at her like I would a monster.
You fucking bitch! That's like your fucking child!
And it was as if Fino knew. That nigga had just been betrayed, and he was never the same. He was genuinely sad, all lethargic and shit. Poor little guy.

Ok. So maybe a month passed, when Dad came home from work one beautifully sunny Saturday afternoon and told Mom:
"All right... I'm in the mood for some Rabbit. And *Sister's* rabbit is huge. Let's do it."
Mom and Dad then grabbed the rabbit cage and took it outside. They then proceeded to close the living-room curtains so we "wouldn't see."
Oh, brouhaha that ensued!
Sister started kicking and screaming.
I WAS KIDDING!!!
I started crying and screaming.
YOU FUCKING MONSTERS!!!!
And Rafa started to laugh.
Idiot.
What followed was... traumatizing.
Sister ran to the bedroom and bawled her ass off. Rafa peeked out the window the entire time, giving me a fucking narration of everything. I sat in the living-room sobbing so hard I'd almost barf.
Uncle had told Mom and Dad that one could kill the rabbits with a broomstick and one swift blow to the head... right behind the ears. In hindsight, he probably should have given them more precise directions.

I remember seeing Dad lift Fino by both his little ears... and Fino just stared back at me (Dear God, I'm already getting upset remembering all this). Then I see Dad whack the back of Fino's head. I screamed at him from inside the house while tapping the window, furiously.
AHHHHHHH!!! YOU FUCKING MONSTER!!! I FUCKING HATE YOU! AAAAAAHHHH!
And Fino didn't die! He just started kicking wildly.
:(
Please stop, stop, stop!
I saw Dad go for another whack... and I just had to look away.
I could hear Dad keep hitting Fino... and Rafa's face was no longer amused.
Damn... my dad sucks. Poor Fino.
I kept screaming and sobbing.
NO! STOP IT!!
And Rafa's face was just... you know, it's that face you make when all you're really thinking is "Man... that sucks." Then it quickly changed to surprise.
Rafa: Oh... my God... Fino isn't even dead!
I looked out once he said this.
Dad was holding down Fino, one hand on Fino's back, the other pulling his ears in the opposite direction... and Mom had the butchering knife in her hand.
N-OHHHH!!!!
I pounded on the wall as I saw when Mom made the first hack at the back of Fino's head. I saw the blood, the skin... his bone... and how Fino just... flopped around. God, it was awful.
Rafa pushed my head away from the window and closed the curtain.
Rafa: Shut up, dude. He's dead. They killed him. Can't do anything now.
I ran to the bedroom and accompanied my sister in the crying and wailing and punching of the wall.
Me: YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT!
Sister: I DIDN'T THINK THEY'D TAKE ME SERIOUSLY!

Mom and Dad prepared the rabbit, placed it in the middle of the dinner table... and invited us to eat it.
Me: No, you fucking... murderous... animals! I hope you fucking... get sick!
Mom backhanded my mouth.
Me: You fucking ::uncontrollable sob:: monsters. I'll never forget this.

Mom and Dad showed some remorse later on... but the damage was done. They traumatized their kids, all because they were being stupid farmer hillbilly animals who craved rabbit... so they killed one of their kid's pets... for dinner. (Who the fuck does that... I mean, what person that does not live in a farm does that? MY BARBARIC PARENTS! That's who!)
All I can say is that I'm glad we're not Korean... I'd fucking have a heart-attack if they'd decide to have Tyson for dinner.



Hmmm... that wasn't a very sweet story, now, was it?
I may be a sweet girl... but it doesn't really translate to my memories... which probably has a lot to do with it.
Oh well. C'est ma vie.