Saturday, March 5, 2011

Maybe you should

"Don't get angry, but..."
The moment those words drop from your lips, you better believe I'm gonna flip.

A couple of weeks ago, my aunt took a photo of me for her "phone."
Aunt: I'm only going to use it so it can be your ID when you call me
Me: When do I ever call you, tia? But... o... k.

Fast-forward to today.
Aunt: Well, AnoMALIE... don't get mad at me... but...
Me: What happened?
Aunt: Well, a while ago *guy* saw your photo.
Me: What?
Aunt: He saw your photo on my phone... and he... is interested.
Me: What? In what? Me? Why? You told me you weren't going to show anyone!
Aunt: He asked me if you had a boyfriend. He thinks you're very pretty.
Me: Agh. How embarrassing. (My face felt hot by now) That's nice, but I'm not looking
Aunt: You have a boyfriend?!
Me: No! And I'm not looking.
Aunt: AnoMALIE! You're 25. You should be looking!
Me: Twenty-six.
Aunt: I should be PAID!

Unless this guy is Julian Casablancas (married and all! Fuck it! I would SO, so, so, so, SO hit that. He is just... gorgeous. His eyes, his lips... his voice... oh my GOD, his voice! The ONLY dude I would allow to smoke around me... shit, I'd JOIN him. Ok, I'll calm down now), I'm not game.
Not that I'm looking for someone THAT ridiculously good looking... that's impossible, but I don't want to be in a relationship. I don't even want the hassle of texting/calling a dude that often.
The MGH thing drained the shit out of me. I need more time to gather my courage.

I'm a hermit right now. Yeah, That's it. I don't want the company of anyone, to tell you the truth. It's just... ME time. "Planning for the future" time. I can't do that with my brain being affected by the presence of a guy (we all know how my IQ plummets the moment I'm near a guy I dig... and how I stop doing what I like because he turns into my freakin' world. I'm impressionable/malleable like that. A terrible state of affairs, so I have to be alone in order to make important decisions).

Of course, all this is too difficult a concept for a Mexican older lady to understand.
I have to spend the next month convincing her that I won't die alone, that I'm not gay, and that I DO NOT, and WILL NOT accept blind dates... EVER.

I need to shower now. I feel dirty.

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