I woke up in a very cunt-y mood today.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still happy... not sad at all... even after listening some more to Musketeer's Suicide Mix he gifted me (have I mentioned this before? No? It's a joke I have with my friends. I encourage them to give me their saddest songs... and compare. I tend to love everyone's Suicide Mix... because it appears I LOVE sad songs).
Anyway, I blame the startling way I woke up: I dreamt I lived in my old house in the hood, where a huge sinkhole appeared in the front yard. In the dream, I opened the front door and saw the hole right at my doorstep.
It damn near gave me a fucking heart attack.
I'm surprised I didn't wake up screaming...though I did sit upright wayyy too fucking fast and gave myself a massive headache.
After that, I caught myself getting very worked up in the shower (seriously, who pisses themselves off while they shower? Only I, the motherfucking Hulk), due to reading a certain person's tweet... a dude who happens to be my relative... and... he's such a two-faced moron... it gets difficult to keep my mouth shut sometimes.
And now that I mention people who irritate me... plus the difficulty I have when it comes to keeping my mouth shut... AND being in a cunt-ish mood, I'll go ahead and vent something that has been bugging me for a little over two years.
It's about Pacemaker.
Something about Pacemaker's DAD, which... is kind of fucked up.
I'll write it out because... no one really knows her, unless they go to my Facebook and looks for my friend with the moon-shaped head and skin of alabaster.
Place: Hometown
Time: Late July, Early August-ish 2009
Occasion: Wedding
It was the dance portion of the wedding, I was being a petulant child, begging to be taken home. The dudes present were getting a little restless... a little obnoxious... totally stereotypical drunk Mexican.
Dudes were making scenes, like breaking bottles or loudly asking a girl what the fuck her problem was for not wanting to dance with him. Shit like that makes my heartbeat get out of control... because I get ready to knock a motherfucker out.
A waiter is standing next to her as she throws three bottles of Fresca to the floor while screaming "NO! NO GRACIAS!"
WTF?
THOSE ARE PERFECTLY GOOD BOTTLES OF FRESCA! What's wrong with her?!
NOW what's wrong with that psycho?
People at the dance looked over for about thirty seconds... then we continued with the typical dance-watching.
Maybe five minutes later, Scene-Making-Cousin and her 16 year old daughter walk over to us and take a seat next to Mom.
SMC: *Mom* Do you know that man over there?
Mom: Who?
SMC: Man sitting three tables down from where I was. White hair, fucking small... flea-sized eyes, fatass belly...
She continues to describe the guy. Who was he? Pacemaker's dad.
Mom: Oh yeah, he's *Pacemaker'sDad*
SMC: Ok, that's what I thought. Isn't he still married? Is he recently divorced... or separated?
Mom: Nnnno. He's still married. Not separated or anything, as far as I know. Right, AnoMALIE?
Me: Yeah... as far as I know.
SMC: Ok. Because that fucking RIDICULOUS, OLD PIG is trying to get with my daughter! He THINKS MY DAUGHTER will pay attention to him... that three fucking sodas are going to win her over.
Me, Mom, and D: whoa...
SMC: That idiot had the gall to send my daughter fucking drinks, and told the waiter to ask her if she would dance with him. And now he's just sitting there staring at my daughter with that... disgusting salacious look in his... rodent-looking eyes. HE EVEN BLEW A KISS AT HER. RIDICULOUS!
So... we awkwardly sat there for what felt like seven hours, until we all decided to get up and go home.
Now, whenever I see anyone from Pacemaker's family, I feel like I'm going to giggle, but I also feel sad.
That's just some shit I could have lived without knowing.
I hope no one has that type of dirt on MY family... sheesh.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still happy... not sad at all... even after listening some more to Musketeer's Suicide Mix he gifted me (have I mentioned this before? No? It's a joke I have with my friends. I encourage them to give me their saddest songs... and compare. I tend to love everyone's Suicide Mix... because it appears I LOVE sad songs).
Anyway, I blame the startling way I woke up: I dreamt I lived in my old house in the hood, where a huge sinkhole appeared in the front yard. In the dream, I opened the front door and saw the hole right at my doorstep.
It damn near gave me a fucking heart attack.
I'm surprised I didn't wake up screaming...though I did sit upright wayyy too fucking fast and gave myself a massive headache.
After that, I caught myself getting very worked up in the shower (seriously, who pisses themselves off while they shower? Only I, the motherfucking Hulk), due to reading a certain person's tweet... a dude who happens to be my relative... and... he's such a two-faced moron... it gets difficult to keep my mouth shut sometimes.
And now that I mention people who irritate me... plus the difficulty I have when it comes to keeping my mouth shut... AND being in a cunt-ish mood, I'll go ahead and vent something that has been bugging me for a little over two years.
It's about Pacemaker.
Something about Pacemaker's DAD, which... is kind of fucked up.
I'll write it out because... no one really knows her, unless they go to my Facebook and looks for my friend with the moon-shaped head and skin of alabaster.
Place: Hometown
Time: Late July, Early August-ish 2009
Occasion: Wedding
It was the dance portion of the wedding, I was being a petulant child, begging to be taken home. The dudes present were getting a little restless... a little obnoxious... totally stereotypical drunk Mexican.
Dudes were making scenes, like breaking bottles or loudly asking a girl what the fuck her problem was for not wanting to dance with him. Shit like that makes my heartbeat get out of control... because I get ready to knock a motherfucker out.
Backstory: In Hometown, it's customary to slap a girl across the face if she refuses to dance with you. Knowing this, and knowing how I HATE dancing to that garbage music... and how I pretty much hate the dudes from Hometown, I'm always ready to HURT any motherfucker who dares to try and touch me. READY (it's kind of like watching a cat do that creepy thing where it arches its back and hisses at you... that's pretty much me at a Hometown dance. AND I ONLY go to watch the "first dance." That's. It.)!A couple of tables down, we (Mom, Sis, and I) notice one of our female cousins making a scene.
A waiter is standing next to her as she throws three bottles of Fresca to the floor while screaming "NO! NO GRACIAS!"
WTF?
THOSE ARE PERFECTLY GOOD BOTTLES OF FRESCA! What's wrong with her?!
NOW what's wrong with that psycho?
People at the dance looked over for about thirty seconds... then we continued with the typical dance-watching.
Maybe five minutes later, Scene-Making-Cousin and her 16 year old daughter walk over to us and take a seat next to Mom.
SMC: *Mom* Do you know that man over there?
Mom: Who?
SMC: Man sitting three tables down from where I was. White hair, fucking small... flea-sized eyes, fatass belly...
She continues to describe the guy. Who was he? Pacemaker's dad.
Mom: Oh yeah, he's *Pacemaker'sDad*
SMC: Ok, that's what I thought. Isn't he still married? Is he recently divorced... or separated?
Mom: Nnnno. He's still married. Not separated or anything, as far as I know. Right, AnoMALIE?
Me: Yeah... as far as I know.
SMC: Ok. Because that fucking RIDICULOUS, OLD PIG is trying to get with my daughter! He THINKS MY DAUGHTER will pay attention to him... that three fucking sodas are going to win her over.
Me, Mom, and D: whoa...
SMC: That idiot had the gall to send my daughter fucking drinks, and told the waiter to ask her if she would dance with him. And now he's just sitting there staring at my daughter with that... disgusting salacious look in his... rodent-looking eyes. HE EVEN BLEW A KISS AT HER. RIDICULOUS!
So... we awkwardly sat there for what felt like seven hours, until we all decided to get up and go home.
Now, whenever I see anyone from Pacemaker's family, I feel like I'm going to giggle, but I also feel sad.
That's just some shit I could have lived without knowing.
I hope no one has that type of dirt on MY family... sheesh.
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