The other day I was watching a guilty pleasure of mine:
Tough Love.
That one show where a... dating coach (?) takes a few single girls with severe dating issues and tries setting them up.
Sister and I joke that we'd give that guy the roughest time out of all the chicks. I say it jokingly, but D's pretty serious about wanting to be on the show.
I don't care to be on the show because I know what my issues are (I've been holding a certain dude--who is unaware of this position he holds-- on a pedestal and I use that as a crutch to avoid all other dudes who show some sort of interest in me. Plain and simple)... and I don't want to be in a relationship... really, I don't. I freak out at the thought of having a dude... and that's no joke. Maybe in a few years I'll be cool with the though of sharing my life with someone. Right now? No thanks.
ANYWAY, I'm watching this show, right?
Steve (the coach dude) mentions how girls should avoid talking about their shortcomings, because it's a turn-off for dudes.
I'm TERRIBLE when it comes to that subject... both of them.
The "turning-on" I'm terrible at because I get awkward the moment a dude shows any indication of attraction. I clam the fuck up... and metaphorically stiff-arm them away from me.
My mental block goes "Errrrr! Back up, homie! This tollbooth is closed."
And the shortcomings... well, I'll be the first to bring up my shortcomings.
Just yesterday, I had this conversation with one of my exes:
Ex: So how's D holding up?
Mom: She's ok... for the most part. She has moments of weakness where she'll call or text, and inform us she wants to throw in the towel. She'll cry once in a while.
Ex: That's funny. I always pictured D as being the strong one.
Me: Huh?
Ex: I mean, both of you are great girls, and your parents raised you right. I just mean D looks like the girl who'd put up a fight. She's more... independent. She'll fight for what she wants. Just... tough.
I stare at him with my What the fuck is wrong with you, ass? face
Ex: You seem more... gentle. Like you'd... well... you're just more innocent and docile. Sweet and kind.
(Normally, a girl would take this as a compliment... not I. No... not AnoMALIE)
Me: Ha. Haha. Nah. I have a heart of stone.
Mom: Oh no. No no. D's a little match. Totally irascible. She'll ignite at the slightest disturbance... but it fades, REAL QUICK. Anomalie, on the other hand... be careful with this girl. She. Is. Violent. The moment her bloodlines cross, she will explode. She'll bottle her rage...
Me: And appear docile...
Mom: But the moment someone finally does something to push her over the edge, she will light your ass up... and make you pay for it for YEARS. AnoMALIE holds her own... and knows how to make someone hurt.
Me: I'm a sadist.
Ex: ... oh... really?! How come... you never showed me that?
Me: Because you never pissed me off. Only a numbered few have seen me at my worst.
Mom: But... she is a good girl... just don't make her angry.
Me: ... you won't like me when I'm angry.
...
Any takers?
Eh? Ehhhh??
Someone feed me a cupcake, for fuck's sake.
Tough Love.
That one show where a... dating coach (?) takes a few single girls with severe dating issues and tries setting them up.
Sister and I joke that we'd give that guy the roughest time out of all the chicks. I say it jokingly, but D's pretty serious about wanting to be on the show.
I don't care to be on the show because I know what my issues are (I've been holding a certain dude--who is unaware of this position he holds-- on a pedestal and I use that as a crutch to avoid all other dudes who show some sort of interest in me. Plain and simple)... and I don't want to be in a relationship... really, I don't. I freak out at the thought of having a dude... and that's no joke. Maybe in a few years I'll be cool with the though of sharing my life with someone. Right now? No thanks.
ANYWAY, I'm watching this show, right?
Steve (the coach dude) mentions how girls should avoid talking about their shortcomings, because it's a turn-off for dudes.
I'm TERRIBLE when it comes to that subject... both of them.
The "turning-on" I'm terrible at because I get awkward the moment a dude shows any indication of attraction. I clam the fuck up... and metaphorically stiff-arm them away from me.
My mental block goes "Errrrr! Back up, homie! This tollbooth is closed."
And the shortcomings... well, I'll be the first to bring up my shortcomings.
Just yesterday, I had this conversation with one of my exes:
Ex: So how's D holding up?
Mom: She's ok... for the most part. She has moments of weakness where she'll call or text, and inform us she wants to throw in the towel. She'll cry once in a while.
Ex: That's funny. I always pictured D as being the strong one.
Me: Huh?
Ex: I mean, both of you are great girls, and your parents raised you right. I just mean D looks like the girl who'd put up a fight. She's more... independent. She'll fight for what she wants. Just... tough.
I stare at him with my What the fuck is wrong with you, ass? face
Ex: You seem more... gentle. Like you'd... well... you're just more innocent and docile. Sweet and kind.
(Normally, a girl would take this as a compliment... not I. No... not AnoMALIE)
Me: Ha. Haha. Nah. I have a heart of stone.
Mom: Oh no. No no. D's a little match. Totally irascible. She'll ignite at the slightest disturbance... but it fades, REAL QUICK. Anomalie, on the other hand... be careful with this girl. She. Is. Violent. The moment her bloodlines cross, she will explode. She'll bottle her rage...
Me: And appear docile...
Mom: But the moment someone finally does something to push her over the edge, she will light your ass up... and make you pay for it for YEARS. AnoMALIE holds her own... and knows how to make someone hurt.
Me: I'm a sadist.
Ex: ... oh... really?! How come... you never showed me that?
Me: Because you never pissed me off. Only a numbered few have seen me at my worst.
Mom: But... she is a good girl... just don't make her angry.
Me: ... you won't like me when I'm angry.
...
Any takers?
Eh? Ehhhh??
Someone feed me a cupcake, for fuck's sake.
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