Sometimes I wish people liked me as much as good ol' SPIDERS:
Well, ok, not like that... especially if they're venomous and my skin reacts in said manner.
Cats need not apply... they should do quite the opposite... they should really hate me and I should take a hint and hate them right back. They need to quit being so fucking irresistibly cute... look more like hairless, newborn rats or some shit, anything that will keep me from touching them.
It's like they know I can't touch them and they go off and do cute shit like... yawn in my face... or fiercely rub against my leg... or have a silly name like Harriet Tubman-- I'm a history buff, I can't resist historical figures!
I need to quit living in denial and accept the fact that cats and I cannot coexist without the help of Benadryl.
I'm not allergic to shit... except cats... fucking... fluffy, soft, cuddly, adorable... bastard cats. Fuck.
Note to self #4857693: DO NOT PET CATS, PENDEJA! YOU CANNOT HANDLE IT!
Originally, this was going to be a long, thought-out post... you know, with editing and shit like that...
but I'm so tired... and drugged with this allergy medicine shit... the only thing that's really on my mind is this:
1. My tummy hurts... I can feel the peristalsis going on... and I don't like it. It's like a baby alien is trying to eat my innards. Gross. It needs to quit moving...
2. Why is the television so loud? Especially when it's a commercial? Turn that shit down.
3. My room is hot as fuck.
4. Why won't my calves stop twitching and why are they so cramped every morning? Stupid body part...
5. I hate people. Not all... but most.
6. Mmmmm... lemon. No, lime. Yeah, lime. And cilantro.
7. No. More. Strawberries.
Summer has begun, and I feel like shit.
Maybe tomorrow... when I'm rested and NOT drugged.
 |
| My greeting yesterday morning. One minute I'm minding my own business, next thing I know some motherfucking spider decides it wants a taste of me. Fucking bastard. I tell you guys I'm a spider magnet! |
Cats need not apply... they should do quite the opposite... they should really hate me and I should take a hint and hate them right back. They need to quit being so fucking irresistibly cute... look more like hairless, newborn rats or some shit, anything that will keep me from touching them.
It's like they know I can't touch them and they go off and do cute shit like... yawn in my face... or fiercely rub against my leg... or have a silly name like Harriet Tubman-- I'm a history buff, I can't resist historical figures!
I need to quit living in denial and accept the fact that cats and I cannot coexist without the help of Benadryl.
I'm not allergic to shit... except cats... fucking... fluffy, soft, cuddly, adorable... bastard cats. Fuck.
Note to self #4857693: DO NOT PET CATS, PENDEJA! YOU CANNOT HANDLE IT!
Originally, this was going to be a long, thought-out post... you know, with editing and shit like that...
but I'm so tired... and drugged with this allergy medicine shit... the only thing that's really on my mind is this:
1. My tummy hurts... I can feel the peristalsis going on... and I don't like it. It's like a baby alien is trying to eat my innards. Gross. It needs to quit moving...
2. Why is the television so loud? Especially when it's a commercial? Turn that shit down.
3. My room is hot as fuck.
4. Why won't my calves stop twitching and why are they so cramped every morning? Stupid body part...
5. I hate people. Not all... but most.
6. Mmmmm... lemon. No, lime. Yeah, lime. And cilantro.
7. No. More. Strawberries.
Summer has begun, and I feel like shit.
Maybe tomorrow... when I'm rested and NOT drugged.
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