Midnight thing

Now that D's gone, Mom has really taken a liking to hanging out with me.
I don't mind... I actually volunteer to do shit with her because I feel sad seeing her little body sitting by herself in the living-room, completely zombified by the numerous, insipid Novelas.

All right, Mah, I need to go to Target and get myself some toothpaste, wanna join me?
Yo, we're running low on baby spinach, I'm hittin' up the grocery store... wanna join me, Little Lady?

I'm fine doing shit by myself, considering I'm such a fucking misanthrope by nature... but not Mi Mami.
Just like D, Mom is used to being in crowds... being looked up to... being popular, social... you know, participating in daily life. Now that she no longer has the outgoing, social kids to hang with, she has become a little... sad.
So, I try and include her in my activities.
Activity Mom enjoys most? Going to the movies.
Too bad I'm not too fanatical about this one.

Don't get me wrong, I fucking LOVE movies... LOVE them. But I'm a movie SNOB. Big time.
I'll often suffer through movies with people just so... they can be happy, but trust that internally, I'm fucking dying... writhing in pain... especially if my companion is loving the film... that just feels like I'm getting shanked in the neck.
You seriously like this shit?! Look at the fucking poor editing! And how the FUCK am I supposed to believe these people like each other? I doubt that bitch has ANY sort of personality in real life... so I'm not shocked that she can't act for SHIT! I'd get out of this chair... but that'd be ten dollars wasted... do you know what ten dollars can get me?! FUCK THIS SHIT, man! (Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm frugal as fuck. Get over it)

For the most part, I don't have too many of these episodes, since I tend to choose movie companions quite carefully.
HOWEVER... when it comes to family... well, I can't really say no when they invite me.
Luckily, the majority of my family has bomb taste in movies, so I don't suffer too much (my favorite is when we both choose the same movie, and end up terribly disappointed within five minutes... so we shoot each other a "FUUUUUCK! How did we not see this one coming? Bamboozled again! Here we go, 90 minutes of torture" look-- yeah, we express that much in one glance. We're special like that... explains why I'm so silent in person, since my eyes do all the talking).
There are just THREE people in my family with HORRENDOUS taste in movies... HORRENDOUS.
One is my mother's sister... my dear auntie who continuously tries hooking me up with dudes (Homie, if your taste in movies is indicative of your taste in dudes, I'll just walk myself to the convent now... thanks). She loves movies about vampires... very... Hollywood shit.
The second is THAT auntie's middle son. The thing that sucks here is that while I manage to dodge his invites to the movie theater, I get suckered into watching SHIT movies each time I visit him at home. He's into sci-fi... and lord knows I LOATHE sci-fi... like... with a motherfucking passion. I'm overly critical of that genre since I tend to gauge just how likely certain scenarios are to happen-- blame the scientist in me for this. The moment something is TOO much on my "bullshit!" radar, is the moment I kick that fucking movie to the curb and check the fuck out. Yes, there are certain sci-fi movies that have managed to captivate me... but it's usually due to the writing... and trust me, my cousin's taste in film is just... no, no, no! Total disregard for writing, editing... I frankly don't know what captivates HIM... but it sure as fuck SUCKS. Sorry, 'cuhz!
The third and final family member with wretched movie taste is MOM.
Dear ol' Mom...
My predicament here is that since she's so lonely and sad, I let her choose the movie each time we go to the theater... and... how she bases her choices drives me bananas!
GIRL IN PROGRESS, because it has MEXICAN actors!
Fuck my ass, man... ughhhhhh!
Yes, she only watches Mexican movies, or movies with legit Mexican actors...
This is a hit or miss... mostly misses... MAJORLY misses.

BUT... I love my mom... and she's a sad little panda right now... so I put up with it... even if all I do for the duration of the movie is ponder what different modes of suicide would feel like.
Plus, I get cute little anecdotes from her each time we hit the theater.

I mention this now because the woman has once again suckered me into watching a movie with her.
I forget the name... something about "For the Glory" or something like that. Has a ton of Mexican actors AND it's about the Holy War that took place in Mexico... so... it's like... THE movie for the Little Lady.
A couple of minutes ago, as I was pondering what to write about and she worked on the monthly statements, she lowered her glasses and stared at me from above their brim.
Mom: Mija... so... can we go to the movies NOW?
Me: Like... right NOW, now? Like... what's coming out or what? I'm not aware of anything.
Mom: They're not going to do that thing like I see on TV that they do with all those movies when they open at midnight? Like with those movies about the vampires... that Potter kid... where people go at midnight of opening day to watch the movie?
Me: That midnight showing nerd shit? HELL NO, Mom! They do that shit with like... hella popular movies... not a movie about the Mexican Holy War. Calm down.
Mom: Can you check on your phone right now?
Me: NO, Mom. We'll just go when D gets here on Wednesday.
Mom: NO! Tomorrow! I want them to get good ratings. Get credit for opening weekend.
Me: Yeah. Me and you, Mom. Good one. Two people. Making the difference.

She's so cute sometimes...