God. Fucking. DAMN IT!
Another one of my "possibles" is Facebook official.
This one made me want to barf... as if I had been mule kicked in the stomach.
I kinda want to cry. He was a REALLY good one... damn near perfect... if he were taller, but still a great dude. FUCK.
It doesn't help that I just got back from that fucking Quinceañera (yup, this is yet another one of my "cheat" updates)... where my sister was drunk texting me her heartache. She is REALLY fucked up right now. My poor baby.
The conversation only got more depressing...
And I'll refrain from invading D's privacy any further... but FUCK, I was so upset during this conversation. I wanted to hug her and slap her at the same time. Shit, I wanted to slap MYSELF.
We even got into talking about Darcy, and I had to correct her: Look, it's not like HE ever led ME on. Plus *Darcy* is so fucking awesome. He's smart. And doing things with his life. And his fucking pants fit him. Quite fucking nicely, actually. It's impossible not to fall in love with him. Don't group him with *asshole we're talking about*
We had to change the subject and talk about more depressing shit: the future. Jobs. Gross.
But seriously... I read this shit over and I STILL feel my fucking blood boil.
I don't get it. And it's so disheartening. If my sister, who I think is GORGEOUS and pretty fucking tight, can't get a dude... such a simple, normal, average dude... what kind of fucking hopes does it leave me?
I swear to god we're fucking cursed.
I also found out my first cousin, whose wedding I was bitching about back in '10 (the one with the brick-colored bridesmaid dress),
is getting divorced... from the love of her life... with whom she has been with for twelve years.
What the fuck is she supposed to do now? She wasted her youth on him. She has been part of the duo for nearly half her life... and now... what is she supposed to do? I feel like fucking shit FOR her.
I nearly cried when my cousin told me at the party. My heart was pulverized for her.
If HER love of over a decade went to shit... what kind of hope do I have? I can't get a guy to like me for a day... shit.
I want to hug her too. I'm going to text her tomorrow, and offer her my support... even if it's just my physical presence... or a shoulder to cry on... I give awesome, tender hugs when needed. I'm also really good at petting people's backs... and I have a high tolerance for tears/screams of frustration. I give the support I wish others gave to me when I'm at my worst.
My poor, sweet, innocent cousin. She definitely did not deserve this... she was the one LEAST deserving of this outcome.
(On to more frivolous shit)
And I ripped my favorite dress ON MY WAY to this fucking Quinceañera... I didn't notice until I took a seat at my table.
At least I'll no longer provide the damn perverted Hometown men with gratuitous shots of my cleavage...
It's all too fucking much... it's like the universe is conspiring to fuck me up and see me cry.
I knew I was done the moment I caught myself getting watery-eyed as I sang along to "Part of Your World" at the Quinceañera (like I said, the motherfucking universe CONSPIRES to fuck me up. I have no clue why a kid born in 1997 would play a Little Mermaid song at her party... that's so 1990-92)
"When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love, love to explore that shore up above? Out of the sea, wish I could be part of that world..." Why the... fuck am I crying right now? Jesus Christ... I had never taken the time to think of the lyrics... curse you, Little Mermaid... no, no, I don't mean that. I'll always love you!
Wait... it was Friday the 13th, wasn't it?
Fuck, man. Fuck fuck fuck.
I'm just bracing myself for some more shit-tastic news.
This isn't going to end nicely... I'm going to be a sobbing mess on the floor any moment.
Another one of my "possibles" is Facebook official.
This one made me want to barf... as if I had been mule kicked in the stomach.
I kinda want to cry. He was a REALLY good one... damn near perfect... if he were taller, but still a great dude. FUCK.
It doesn't help that I just got back from that fucking Quinceañera (yup, this is yet another one of my "cheat" updates)... where my sister was drunk texting me her heartache. She is REALLY fucked up right now. My poor baby.
 |
| And the emo begins... I'm (very appropriately) the blue one. |
 |
| I'm always random. |
 |
| Very true to how I talk in person... So hard not to look like a psycho as I furiously typed away at her. |
 |
| umm... I MAY have had a drink or two by now... Why do they always sit me by the bar? |
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| I tell ya, my fucking priorities.. |
 |
| I officially HATE this guy. |
 |
| Hmm... |
And I'll refrain from invading D's privacy any further... but FUCK, I was so upset during this conversation. I wanted to hug her and slap her at the same time. Shit, I wanted to slap MYSELF.
We even got into talking about Darcy, and I had to correct her: Look, it's not like HE ever led ME on. Plus *Darcy* is so fucking awesome. He's smart. And doing things with his life. And his fucking pants fit him. Quite fucking nicely, actually. It's impossible not to fall in love with him. Don't group him with *asshole we're talking about*
We had to change the subject and talk about more depressing shit: the future. Jobs. Gross.
But seriously... I read this shit over and I STILL feel my fucking blood boil.
I don't get it. And it's so disheartening. If my sister, who I think is GORGEOUS and pretty fucking tight, can't get a dude... such a simple, normal, average dude... what kind of fucking hopes does it leave me?
I swear to god we're fucking cursed.
I also found out my first cousin, whose wedding I was bitching about back in '10 (the one with the brick-colored bridesmaid dress),
What the fuck is she supposed to do now? She wasted her youth on him. She has been part of the duo for nearly half her life... and now... what is she supposed to do? I feel like fucking shit FOR her.
I nearly cried when my cousin told me at the party. My heart was pulverized for her.
If HER love of over a decade went to shit... what kind of hope do I have? I can't get a guy to like me for a day... shit.
I want to hug her too. I'm going to text her tomorrow, and offer her my support... even if it's just my physical presence... or a shoulder to cry on... I give awesome, tender hugs when needed. I'm also really good at petting people's backs... and I have a high tolerance for tears/screams of frustration. I give the support I wish others gave to me when I'm at my worst.
My poor, sweet, innocent cousin. She definitely did not deserve this... she was the one LEAST deserving of this outcome.
(On to more frivolous shit)
And I ripped my favorite dress ON MY WAY to this fucking Quinceañera... I didn't notice until I took a seat at my table.
 |
| The seatbelt ripped my dress! HOW?! I spent the night with that shit on my leg, holding on to the thread, crosing my fingers it wouldn't run any further. Like how my shoes are obviously too big? My feet seem to have shrunk. |
 |
| Tittayyys! Dude sitting across from me at my table was "burning a hole" through my chest. Fucking dude probably designed the dress... |
It's all too fucking much... it's like the universe is conspiring to fuck me up and see me cry.
I knew I was done the moment I caught myself getting watery-eyed as I sang along to "Part of Your World" at the Quinceañera (like I said, the motherfucking universe CONSPIRES to fuck me up. I have no clue why a kid born in 1997 would play a Little Mermaid song at her party... that's so 1990-92)
"When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love, love to explore that shore up above? Out of the sea, wish I could be part of that world..." Why the... fuck am I crying right now? Jesus Christ... I had never taken the time to think of the lyrics... curse you, Little Mermaid... no, no, I don't mean that. I'll always love you!
Wait... it was Friday the 13th, wasn't it?
Fuck, man. Fuck fuck fuck.
I'm just bracing myself for some more shit-tastic news.
This isn't going to end nicely... I'm going to be a sobbing mess on the floor any moment.
4 comments:
There are good guys out there who will worship the ground you walk on (if you were to let them.. never do this though.) I found mine by accident. I'm pretty sure that's how it's supposed to happen. Tell your sister if she feels the need to change for anyone.. or the need to prove anything to anyone - they aren't and never were worth it. Invest in yourself and things will fall into place.
Love isn't perfect and it doesn't belong on a pedestal. No guy does either, especially one that doesn't possess the dignity to let a girl down in person. What a bitch move.
:(
It upsets me to know she's so far away because of this asshole, too.
BUT, I do agree with you, completely... even if it IS impossible for me NOT to put certain guys on a pedestal :(
O.M.G. I can't believe she's getting a divorce!!! :[[[
Yeah. What bums me out most is the excuse her husband's using... "I don't love you anymore." Uglier words have not been spoken. ... that fucking asshole.
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