Thursday, October 4, 2012

Deep breaths, baby

1. What makes you angry?
2. How do you react?
3. How do cool down?

1. Homie... so many things piss me off. It's multifactorial.
Have I eaten? WHAT have I eaten? What have I NOT eaten?
What time of the month is it? (Yeah, it's irritating when guys automatically assume you're pissed off because you're PMSing... but I definitely notice I tend to have wild mood swings around certain times of the month. And for that I apologize profusely, but hey, it's motherfucking biology. Bite me)
How many hours of sleep have I had?
How many people have I spoken to?
How many hours have I driven today?
Is it too hot outside?
Have I been in a crowded area? For how long?
But there does seem to be a couple of stand outs:
a) Groups of people-- whether they're smart or dumb, funny or boring... if I have to be in a "group" of more than 10 people, for over two hours, I. Will. Get. Angry.
b) Waking me up. I tend to feel ok when I sleep an ODD number of hours. Wake me up at hours 6, 8, 10, 12, I'll bite your fucking head off. Wake me up at hours  3, 5, 7, 9, I'm fresh as a cucumber. I don't know what that's all about... but hey, at least I know my body, right?
c) Hunger. When I don't eat, I get angry, like any normal person. HOWEVER, I also get VERY angry when people try to FORCE me to eat. I can't explain it... but when I tells you "No thanks, I'm good" and you insist on me eating, I will be FURIOUS and ready to spontaneously combust. No means NO.
d) Driving. I just fucking hate this task... and I get pissed the moment I see someone breaking a rule. It irks me and I get a mean case of road rage.
e) Incessant chatter. SILENCE IS GOLDEN. Shut the fuck up and let people think. It'll be ok, I promise. There is NO need to continuously hear sound. SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. When someone speaks for more than five minutes, non-stop, trust that I am using all of my self-control not to stuff my sock in his/her mouth.

2. How do I react? Well, that too has multiple answers. For the most part, I bottle the rage... then finally explode after a long time. My "explosions" are not pretty, luckily, I've only done this three times... I'm like 20th-century Mt. Vesuvius. Since I bottle my anger, I just rant on here... nearly suffer a stroke... then I get over it.

3. I get over the rage by... trying to make myself laugh.
It's the best way... I have to giggle.
I take deep breaths, then think of how stupid the situation might be to a stranger... or how stupid I must have looked... and I get over it.
If that doesn't work, I Tweet like Kanye... then get over it.

I'm seriously trying very, VERY hard to be a more pleasant person.
I'm not going to let AngrAmelie win.

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