Today marks my parent's 30th year of wedded bliss...
Dad: Feels like it's only been a day!
Mom: (mumbles) ... under water!
Obviously I inherited Mom's bleak outlook on love and marriage. The woman knows how to crack me the fuck up.
My folks are hardly soul mates... but they know how to deal with each other's bullshit... and trust me, BOTH have some horrible, annoying habits.
Me: Mom, had I been you, I would have divorced Dad ONE WEEK into the marriage. Fuck that shit.
(one week into the marriage, Dad straight up told her he only married her so she could cook and wash the dishes, like ALL women are SUPPOSED to. Total romantic, that man)
I'm not one to put up with someone else's bullshit for the sake of companionship... so... I'll just be alone. Forever.
Unless I find my soulmate... which is improbable... because he's always married or in some committed relationship.
Truth be told, my heart will always belong to him:
Dad: Feels like it's only been a day!
Mom: (mumbles) ... under water!
Obviously I inherited Mom's bleak outlook on love and marriage. The woman knows how to crack me the fuck up.
My folks are hardly soul mates... but they know how to deal with each other's bullshit... and trust me, BOTH have some horrible, annoying habits.
Me: Mom, had I been you, I would have divorced Dad ONE WEEK into the marriage. Fuck that shit.
(one week into the marriage, Dad straight up told her he only married her so she could cook and wash the dishes, like ALL women are SUPPOSED to. Total romantic, that man)
I'm not one to put up with someone else's bullshit for the sake of companionship... so... I'll just be alone. Forever.
Unless I find my soulmate... which is improbable... because he's always married or in some committed relationship.
Truth be told, my heart will always belong to him:
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| Abundance of symbolism. Don't expect anyone to catch it, per usual. |
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