Saturday, October 27, 2012

I'll make you hurt

"Give me ONE reason not to hurt you..."
Those words still resonate.

Biiiiitch! Who the fuck do you think you are?! NO ONE talks to me like that! I don't NEED you! ::click!::

That was the easiest break-up EVER.
Something about that threat really sparked the most intense hate in my heart, that I felt no remorse over cutting off that motherfucker instantaneously.
Now that I think about it, I'm lucky he didn't come after me with a butcher knife... or like... waited for me with a bat in hand, in the parking garage, after class.

I was able to do that because I didn't feel shit for him. It was the one and ONLY relationship I entered because I wanted attention. It's the only time I actually WANTED attention.
Upon hearing those words, something in my head snapped. I don't need this shit... why am I even putting up with this shit? 

Astonishes me how easily others agree to hurt me. It's what keeps me from breaking out into tears the moment I realize what's going on... I just sit in silence, completely perplexed...
What... are you gaining from this? 
It's also what convinces me I was a terrible person in the past. A murderous dictator or something... I do share my last name with a notorious Mexican one... perhaps it's that.

... and still, all I find myself wanting to do is make you smile. Todavia te adoro...
Someone needs to take a shovel to my head... I think I know numerous volunteers.

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